Thanks for being unafraid to broach this sobering line of thought, Golden Horse. It is indeed a fear of mine to be unable to help my children, or someday, myself. On good days, I remember to work on strengthening my body from a place of love and self-respect, and not the horrible judgements of haters and even the self-hatred many of us have experienced. Your own strength of spirit is apparent to even a beginning poster, and I hope your physical healing soon catches up to your wit, wisdom and kindness.
Hope you and the others don't find this too hokey, but when in pain, especially if immobilized, I try to meditate on something soothing. I didn't perceive a big difference at first, but over time....and maybe it's just the controlled breathing, or the quieting of circular, negative thoughts, but you might want to give it a go. Now there are times when I've come to actually recognize that it's something that might help, and, lo and behold, it often does.
Try 10 deep breaths (in through nose, out through mouth, a.k.a breathe in peace, breathe out pain) and then say:
May I be filled with loving kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful, and at ease
May I be happy