My friend keeps making rude comments about my weight. - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

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post #11 of 35 Old 11-18-2012, 08:57 PM
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Isn't it funny how things change in friendships as circumstances change? The true friends remain the same, the others need to be kicked to the curb. I wouldn't tolerate bullying or abuse from a friend. It just isn't okay to treat anyone that way, much less a friend. My advice, drop the lease and the friend, then diet your butt off (literally) and go find a different horse to lease. The one that is truly sabotaging you is her. Good luck to you and don't let anyone put you down like that. It isn't right.
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post #12 of 35 Old 11-18-2012, 10:24 PM
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Ah, how unfortunate. I understand this is a complicated situation, being that before she lost her weight she probably felt like a true friend to you. I have seen this happen to so many people, they lose weight and then become 'big headed and elite'. My mum has been on a diet to lose weight and she goes on about how everything has to be organic and she always says how my dad is trying to sabotage her. I don't get it.

I think in the end you know what you need to do. Riding should be fun and she is poisoning it for you. Either talk to her about it or take a break from your lease and friendship for a bit. A little room could be good if you want to keep her as a friend. If not, then just walk away.
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post #13 of 35 Old 11-18-2012, 10:35 PM
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what a fricktard. She isn't your friend. She beats up on you verbally to make herself feel better. With a friend like that you certainly don't need any enemies.

Lose the lease...lost the "friend" and if you want - lose the weight (wish I could!!!) I don't think you are too heavy for a 15 hand horse because if you are I will have to give up riding The Biscuit and that is not happening any time soon.

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post #14 of 35 Old 11-18-2012, 10:41 PM
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Having re-read your post and thought it over a bit I do have a couple of thoughts/questions.
Do you WANT to maintain the friendship, if possible? IS your husband sabotaging you?
It's easy for someone such as myself to sit here on the other side of a computer screen and say you should end a frienship, I am not the one with the time, emotion, etc invested in that friendship that you have. If you want to maintain the friendship, I think you will have to confront this situation head-on. Ask your fried to coffee and lay it all on the line - let her know that whatever beneficial message she is trying to convey to you is being lost in the delivery methods she is using. Tell her, point blank, how hurtful what she is doing/saying is to you. Once you've done that the proof will be in the pudding - if she makes an effort to change her ways, the friendship may be salvageable (IF that is what you want)
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post #15 of 35 Old 11-18-2012, 10:57 PM
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If you really like this friend try and save it like Mac said. If not, dump the lease, dump her.

I have a friend who is actually one of my bests and we have spats all the time. Not quite the same as this but we're both obnoxiously prideful and that sometimes gets between us and insults get thrown and often I contemplate the idea of us being better not speaking. However, at the end of the day we know we're the same and honestly, who else would tolerate us? We're meant to be together til the end of the world, I think.

Now...From the information you've provided this is NOT the same situation as what I have with my friend. However, if there's more info that makes it so, try and save what you can.

Pssh.I didn't pick up the wrong lead
It's called a counter canter...
...A very advanced maneuver.
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post #16 of 35 Old 11-19-2012, 12:40 AM Thread Starter
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Hi all,
I greatly appreciate all the good advice and support
After careful consideration I've decided to terminate the lease and friendship. She really pissed me off when she started trash talking about my husband.Who has been nothing but supportive of me with everything. I gained all this weight because I have been sick for the last three years. I have a chronic illness that is painful so joining a gym was the last thing on my mind. And this so called friend thinks she is a freaking expert about everything. Even this chronic illness I have had to deal with. It is extremely frustrating trying to talk to her about anything because she thinks she is a doctor. So there really isn't a friendship to salvage. I have pretty much had it with her!
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post #17 of 35 Old 11-19-2012, 02:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redhorse86 View Post
Hi all,
I greatly appreciate all the good advice and support
After careful consideration I've decided to terminate the lease and friendship. She really pissed me off when she started trash talking about my husband.Who has been nothing but supportive of me with everything. I gained all this weight because I have been sick for the last three years. I have a chronic illness that is painful so joining a gym was the last thing on my mind. And this so called friend thinks she is a freaking expert about everything. Even this chronic illness I have had to deal with. It is extremely frustrating trying to talk to her about anything because she thinks she is a doctor. So there really isn't a friendship to salvage. I have pretty much had it with her!
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well if she were a doctor she'd realize the weight gain was due to the illness. She is not a friend, she is a b with an itch if you catch my drift.
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post #18 of 35 Old 11-19-2012, 08:57 AM
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Wow! Anybody who ever spoke to me that way would not be my friend. And I certainly would not be paying to ride her horse.

There are much nicer people to lease from in the world!
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post #19 of 35 Old 11-20-2012, 12:09 PM
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I'm still trying to figure out in what universe this would be considered a friend?

Glad you dumped her and the lease.
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post #20 of 35 Old 11-21-2012, 12:17 PM
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You know, one of the toughest but MOST VALUABLE lessons for me to learn in life was to regularly take out the trash. I consider myself to be a friend who builds others up, gives of my time and my emotion and has genuine sincere empathy for them. If my friends are not delivering the same on a regular basis (personal crisis, etc, aside), I do not need them in my life. I am glad you terminated the lease and the friendship. I wonder -- were you riding her horse before she lost her weight and she just now has a problem with it?
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