My friend keeps making rude comments about my weight.

No friend would ever sabotage you like that; I say lose the horse and the 'friend.'
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Friends don't treat friends like that, it's that simple. Say goodbye and don't look back, she's not worth it.

I don't understand why, if your friend thinks you are too heavy for her horse, she doesn't end the lease herself.

At 200lbs, I would agree you are too heavy for a 15hh narrow horse. Why don't you end the lease and find a horse that is more suited to your weight? 200lbs is not a huge weight for a horse, but you do need to find the right sort.

I expect that your friend desperately wants you to lose weight and is a bit bothered that you may be damaging her horse, but hasn't the bottle to actually call time on your arrangement. Not the right way to go about things IMO.

ETA:

Just read you have ended the lease and found two others to ride. Good luck.

I hate that 20% rule. It really should be more of a guide line than a "rule".

I am 250-300 pounds, 5'5". My weight fluctuates due to health issues.

I had a dainty looking foxtrotter mare, who was 14.2 hands. She carried me with no problem at all and it also did not affect her health. She was regularly checked by equine veterinarian group of 4 equine vets. (only reason I do not still have her is that my husband sold her)

I am not saying all small horses can do that, but I believe each horse and rider has to be evaluated for ability and not stick to an arbitrary rule of 20%.

I am sorry that your friend (?) is being nasty and hurtful. It does sound like it would be best for you to end the lease and part ways with her.

Delighted to hear this, and I can tell you she aint no friend. Because real friend's don't go on like that you'll make loads of real friends at the new barn