I personally think that you are on the right track. Yeah you might be struggling, but that doesnt make you any less of a rider! Don't give up! Trust me, I used to weigh much more!!! And I know how painful it is. I have just one piece of advice: picture your future as a fit rider, think about everything good that may come to you in the future (its always up to you) and when you do that, you'll be happier and healthier!
Peace to the world