The painful road back, a personal journal

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The painful road back, a personal journal

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    04-16-2012, 07:48 PM
The painful road back, a personal journal

First a disclaimer.....

This is my personal record, made public to inspire and motivate me, and maybe help others along the way. While I will watch my language and remember that this is a public forum, I can't vouch that the content will be suitable for all, so read at your own risk.

I also acknowledge that this is a public forum and everyone has the right to share their views, but just to let you know right from the start, I will also uphold my right not to reply to negativity or advice that I don't like, hey it's my record I so choose who I respond to.

So if you are ready here goes the honest and open road to recovery journal of a middle aged woman in crisis.
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    04-16-2012, 08:03 PM
I am all ears. Or eyes, in this case.
    04-16-2012, 08:03 PM
Day 1

For a few weeks this has been designated new start day, and it is just as well, because I woke up this morning hating this particular version of me..

This current me is 100 pounds heavier than I want to be, losing that 100 pounds will still leave me heavier than I maybe should be, but I care not about that, the new me will be 100 pounds lighter.

This current me is waiting for knee surgery, I have arthritis and a torn meniscus in my right knee that has been causing me more issues than I like to admit for the last few months, the new me, post surgery will be working hard to keep my newly refurbished knee in good shape, and part of that starts now with weight loss and specific exercises that will strengthen the knee before surgery.

This current me is unable to move far because my back seized up due to (I think) a combination of the weight, the strange gait with the bum knee, and the amount of personal stress in my life just now.

This particular me was also hot sweaty and smelly first thing, and it occurred to me that I may not of hit the shower in day or two.

That is when I decided right there and then this particular me is not a good place, so time for an intervention....


Step 1 was easy, get up get a long hot shower and clean clothes and feel like a human being again.

Step 2, started a 21 day fast, now before you all start panicking, this is not a fast as in starving yourself, this is a fast as in no sugar, meats, fish, dairy, alcohol. But a big yes to vegetables, fruits, pulses, nuts and grains, in as much quantity as you need and want. So far so good on this front, fruit salad with hemp hearts for breakfast, peppers sliced and spread with hummus, and a handful of grapes at lunch, handful of nuts mid afternoon, and looking at some sort of veggies in tomato sauce for supper.

I know it is going to be a long journey, and this first 21 days is about learning to eat to live again, rather than living to eat, and about getting moving as much as possible, so wish me luck here we go.

Step 3, have spent the day so far doing as much as possible, then laying flat until it all stops hurting then getting up and doing more.
    04-16-2012, 08:05 PM
Me too!!! I wait with bated breath!

You're cool GH.
    04-18-2012, 12:55 PM
Day 1..

It went well, until the evening, and then I was ill, sick as a dog, which is no fun when your back and you knees are killing you, trying to bend over a toilet it not easy....YUK, I'm not good when I'm ill.

Day 2..

Started the day with a rotten headache, every muscle aches, and stomach is sore, oh and a have a streaming nose, I guess that I have a bug rather than an allergy to the quinoa burger I had for supper on day 1!

Oh well, stick to the diet and onwards, was good with food again today, not hungry, but that could be the bug talking. Was mobile enough to go out and hug my horses, which makes everything feel better.

Then I had someone come out and try out Bert, they worked well together, and I hope that she decides to take her, it could be a good match.

Day 3 am,

Feeling a little better, I think I may live after all
texasgal likes this.
    04-19-2012, 12:44 AM
Green Broke
Ok I'm here watching

Glad you are feeling better.
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    04-19-2012, 02:39 PM
Green Broke
My dear woman, how are you?
Posted via Mobile Device
    04-19-2012, 07:20 PM
Day 4, and still on target.

I nearly tripped up at lunchtime today, was cutting cheese for sandwiches for DH and DS and of course the block wasnt cut level when I was done, so I did one more cut to straighten up the block, and guess where the 'spare' bit was going....yup, I was going to eat it. I pulled up short just before it got to my mouth, and it went into a sandwich a bit quick.

That for me is what this 3 weeks is about, I am not going near the scales until day 22, because it is not about losing, but about awareness at this stage.

On what I am eating, well fruit and nuts for breakfast, home made vegetable soup for lunch, fruit and nuts for a snack, then veggies and some sort of veggie burger or such for supper.

If I get hungry I just drink some water or grab a snack of fruit or a few nuts, and I haven't felt hungry or deprived yet.

The cold has receded, no more stuffy nose, no more illness, the back is slowly improving, and today for the first time in a long time I am actually cleaning my kitchen properly I have to do some, then come and sit or lay down some to rest the back and knee, but at least I'm active in between, and I will be finished, probably this evening.

Tomorrow it's back into the city for more treatment on the back, restock the organic veggie stuff, and try and navigate, probably, the nightmare of eating sugar, no animal products, hope that doesn't equal naked salad.
    04-19-2012, 10:09 PM
Green Broke
Posted via Mobile Device
    04-26-2012, 02:01 AM
Day 11 is just ending, and things are still going well, I have stayed true the diet, I have survived the birth of a new foal, the departure of a long standing inhabitant, Bert left for her new home at the weekend, and a visit to Tim Hortons, and didn't even nibble on a donut, believe me that is a good thing.

Something strange happened over the last couple of days, I seem to be emerging from the shall I have built up around me, and I think I'm ready to start living again.

Next step find a way to up my activity levels without hurting the back or the knee

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