That's it! - Page 4 - The Horse Forum

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post #31 of 39 Old 07-15-2012, 12:38 PM
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The problem isn't the women's resemblance to a female dog, it was her utter lack of boundaries, social propriety and respect for other's property.

The proper response to that is not to excuse the behavior on basis of ignorance. I suspect that if a guest in your home started offering random advice on your clothes, makeup and home decor while exclaiming that it's a shame that bad taste is so prevelent, no one would suggest you excuse her behavior.

Somehow in our current "nanny" culture, if it somehow touches on other's health, it's society's problem and therefore normal social boundaries don't apply.

Bull. Weight and appearance are deeply personal issues, strict social boundaries should apply even more when discussing them. That woman was so far off base that she can't see the base from where she's standing.

To to OP, I am sure you were too taken aback to say anything, but I kind of wish you had let her know how inappropriate and offensive her comments were, because I suspect until someone does, she'll continue to offend, beleiving monitoring other's weight and suitability to their horses is legimately her concern.

In any case, good luck on your fitness journey and keep us posted on your progress!

Last edited by maura; 07-15-2012 at 12:47 PM.
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post #32 of 39 Old 07-15-2012, 12:56 PM
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Poor you, don't take any notice of her, this is YOUR horse and how much you weight or what you do with your horse is none of her business.
Good on you for trying out a diet, but only change if YOU want to; not just because of what she's said.
Oh.. and I suggest you say no to her leasing your horse haha! :)
Best of luck! :)
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post #33 of 39 Old 07-16-2012, 03:44 AM
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While that woman wasn't the nicest of people, I think that if she's helping motivate you to do what you want to do it's not such a bad experience.

Good luck and keep us posted!
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post #34 of 39 Old 07-18-2012, 11:25 AM
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Do not allow yourself to be motivated by this woman. Be motivated by yourself, by your love and acceptance of yourself and your desire to do the right things for yourself. Much more success and a positive journey is brought about that way. :)

I do hope if she does contact you again, you tell her that her behaviour was not appropriate. Ignorant or not, she needs to know that what she said was not helpful or kind or even necessarily TRUE.
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post #35 of 39 Old 07-22-2012, 11:51 AM
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8 Things That Are Making You Fat | Reader's Digest

This was on FB wall when went there...and makes a lot of sense. Maybe it will help.

I too am having trouble eating right. I get the exercise at barn but still drink Cokes and while I don't eat tons? Obviously I'm still getting too many calories, as it is not coming off.

So, since you've decided to do something about your weight, I will try harder on mine too.

And while several have said the woman was out of line? It may be that she really looked at OP honestly too and said what OP needed to hear.

It is very easy for us to look in the mirror and say "well, I'm not THAT fat". I see it all the time...and do it some to my image in the mirror too.

Problem is? Yes, I am THAT FAT! I'm 5'6" or so, and weigh 212. That puts me in size 20 jeans/XL or 2X shirts...and I am way too fat period.

Thank you for posting this thread, and for having the guts to do something about your weight, and mine now.

I'd rather a person be honest, than to tell me "oh, you look okay" when deep down? I know I don't.

Horses make me a better person.
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post #36 of 39 Old 07-23-2012, 10:09 AM Thread Starter
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I realize that I'm a bigger rider, however I didn't need some strange woman coming into my barn, telling me that despite all the precautions I take to ensure that my horse is as comfortable and happy as possible (and trust me, he's no skinny minnie either), so that riding him will cause him no physical strain - that I'm just too fat to ride him.

And hey, you know what, I am fat, and I know that. I'm doing something about it. But what if it had been a medical condition? What if I had already lost 100lbs, and was continuing on my weight loss journey, and this was the first time I'd been able to ride a horse in years?

I don't care if I was the size of an elephant, she saw how perfectly healthy the horse is, how easily he accepted my weight on his back, and the fact that he was not burdened by me in any way.

Bottom line, it was disrespectful. She cannot come into my peaceful area of zen, and say things like that to me, expecting to gain use of something that is very near and dear to my heart. She was out of line, it is not acceptable to comment on anyone's weight.

A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence.
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post #37 of 39 Old 07-23-2012, 12:15 PM
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post #38 of 39 Old 07-25-2012, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Palomine View Post
8 Things That Are Making You Fat | Reader's Digest

This was on FB wall when went there...and makes a lot of sense. Maybe it will help.

I too am having trouble eating right. I get the exercise at barn but still drink Cokes and while I don't eat tons? Obviously I'm still getting too many calories, as it is not coming off.

So, since you've decided to do something about your weight, I will try harder on mine too.

And while several have said the woman was out of line? It may be that she really looked at OP honestly too and said what OP needed to hear.

It is very easy for us to look in the mirror and say "well, I'm not THAT fat". I see it all the time...and do it some to my image in the mirror too.

Problem is? Yes, I am THAT FAT! I'm 5'6" or so, and weigh 212. That puts me in size 20 jeans/XL or 2X shirts...and I am way too fat period.

Thank you for posting this thread, and for having the guts to do something about your weight, and mine now.

I'd rather a person be honest, than to tell me "oh, you look okay" when deep down? I know I don't.
By whose standards do you not "look okay"? Whether someone's appearance is aesthetically pleasing or not depends on the beholder, so you really can't base your motivation off of that.

I don't think anybody's opinion of if I "look good" or not should have any bearing on my life. If I choose to wear a bikini to the beach at 250lbs, that is entirely MY business, regardless of if it is aesthetically pleasing to somebody else. I am more than the body that I exist in.

My motivation for weight loss is completely fitness related. I want to be able to ride my mare and not have to give up because of my fitness deficiencies before she is ready to be done being ridden.
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post #39 of 39 Old 07-26-2012, 04:02 PM
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I'm on ww's now and its really about making a lifestyle change I'm starting eat healthy on my own and its super easy to follow and after you hit goal weight you no longer have to pay but can still attend meetings
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