A Thread That Is Not About Weight Loss - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 04:11 PM
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then why comment on the thread that is about self-acceptance? No one says you have to... but there are some of us who do.
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post #32 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Birdz View Post
then why comment on the thread that is about self-acceptance? No one says you have to... but there are some of us who do.
Why not comment, does this make you feel uncomfortable?

For those who are comfortable in their body, that is great, I feel happy for them, but that isn't everyone.

I tried feeling happy with my body, I just got fatter, I don't seem to have a 'normal weight' I am always on a journey to another place. To me is is important to accept who you are, but at the same time very few of us are perfect, we are always working to improve our lives, bodies, minds etc etc.
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post #33 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 04:34 PM
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My point being... why be the debbie-downer on a thread meant to uplift?

There are plenty of other threads on here where you can gloat about your perceived body image. I, for one, will continue to uplift and compliment the women who post pictures because they ARE beautiful, even if they aren't completely happy with themselves.... its nice to hear nice things about yourself instead of always being "OMG I need to lose weight, I look horrible." mentality.

Not addressing this to anyone specific... just go be unhappy on other threads instead of bringing people down on here because it reaffirms your own negative body image. So what if we all need to lose weight? Why does that need to be the center of all discussion on here?
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post #34 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Birdz View Post
then why comment on the thread that is about self-acceptance? No one says you have to... but there are some of us who do.
My point was that I have accept who I am as a person, but I refuse to accept who I am physically (at least right now). Everyone I have known who accepted being overweight as "part of who they are" has stayed that way or gotten worse. Every single one. I've not known (or heard of anyone) who honestly said "I like who I am and how I look, even though I'm seriously overweight and limited physically" who lost weight. To accept the status quo (in this case, being overweight) is to not seek out change, especially change for the better.

I've always had issues with how I look. In high school, I was a healthy, muscular 156-158 pounds. I was active (hiking, soccer, marching band, etc) and I ate right. I thought I was fat because I wasn't 125lbs and a size 6 like my cousin my age. I look at pictures of myself and think "Was I crazy?! I look **** good!"

I'm big boned. I accept that. I won't ever be a size 2. I accept that (and wouldn't want to be anyway). What I don't accept is being so overweight that I can barely bend over to pick a rag up off the ground or tie my shoelaces. No one should have to feel like they should accept that.

ETA: Do I think I'm beautiful? Not really. Pretty, yes. Even at the weight I am now. I don't need outside affirmation of that because I believe it already. My negative body image comes from the fact that my body limits the things I want to do, be and accomplish.
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post #35 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 04:50 PM
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Well said GoldenHorse. There is a world of difference between accepting/loving who you are, and accepting/loving being overweight as part of who you are. Simply saying that I'm fat is a fact, something that can and will be changed! Me being fat has nothing to do with who I am. I am way more than a number on a scale, measuring tape, or any other device that tells me something that I already know, I need to make some changes.
That being said, I do realize that poor self-image/self-confidence often accompanies being overweight even by small amounts. I'm going to tell you something I figured out a while back. Someone only has power over you if you allow them to. Stand up for yourself, even if you don't buy into what you're saying at the moment, you will eventually. Confidence is not some mysterious force that only certain people can have, we all have the right to it. Even if it means telling yourself repeatedly that you matter, you're beautiful/handsome, you're confident, smart, whatever, you'll start to believe it where before you didn't. Replace your negative self talk with positive, in stead of saying I'm fat when you catch a glimps of yourself in the mirror, say I'm in better shape today than I was yesterday, and I'll be in better shape tomorrow than I am today. Say something that will improve you instead of insult you. The simple act of changing how you look at yourself, will often give you the courage to change what you see. But it will also change how others see you too.
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post #36 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 05:20 PM
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Ok, all you Debbie Downers, come on, let's go find our own corner to whine and complain in. We aren't wanted here.
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post #37 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 05:44 PM
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Its just a shame this thread had to turn this way. Could have been a really good positive inspiration for people!

Oh well, some people will always be unhappy.
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post #38 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Birdz View Post
Its just a shame this thread had to turn this way. Could have been a really good positive inspiration for people!

Oh well, some people will always be unhappy.
I believe everyone here has said they like themselves and are HAPPY with the PERSON they are. Your weight doesn't have to be part of the PERSON you are. They are to separate things. Its inspirational to see people on here who are as big or bigger then I am still love themselves AND work on making themselves healthier!

Yes, I like myself! Yes, I'm a happy person! But that doesn't mean I have to celebrate being 237 pounds. I don't harp on it, but I don't go around thinking how amazing 240 pounds is.

Also, there is NO denying the many negative health effects obesity has (heart attack, stroke, diabetes, etc). It doesn't matter how much you love the person you are, being over weight will nd DOES kill people. I've seen it happen. That's called REALITY!!!
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post #39 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 06:22 PM
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Originally Posted by tinyliny View Post
Ok, all you Debbie Downers, come on, let's go find our own corner to whine and complain in. We aren't wanted here.
Okay if you want to start the HF Debbie Downers Club, I'm in
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post #40 of 55 Old 03-11-2013, 06:23 PM
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Well here is a twist - my 13yr old gets teased at school for being thin. Her friends joke (and she knows they are joking) and call her anorexic. She blows it off b/c she knows they are just giving her a hard time but she admits that it does get old and I know it affects her b/c she will ask me from time to time if I think she is too skinny. She is 5'4" and just over 100lbs. She wears a size 1-2 in jeans and is only in the 8th grade. Times are different now and at least where I am in this neck of the woods, if you are in your healthy weight range, you are now the odd man out. My daughter is the most thin out of most of her peers so it is no wonder she gets teased - teenage girls can be hard on each other as we all know.

So I work with her on a daily basis telling her how good she looks in her clothes and how pretty she is and I compliment her on her eating habits ALL of the time -she is a meat and veggie girl and doesn't do fast food too much. We have a history on both sides of our family (hubby's and mine) of heart disease, stroke, obesity and other issues and so we've never had to say a thing about 'watch your weight' she's had examples to go by, many relatives who are deceased from complications due to obesity and/or heart disease related to eating habits.

So for what it is worth, even the thin people have trouble with their 'worthiness' to have friends or fit in with peers. Self love is important no matter who you are or where you are in life. My daughter is just starting out with hers - we make sure she is constantly surrounded with family/friends who love her for who she is and I think it does her good. So I see the 'ops' point - it is nice when folks can just accept you 'as is' without having to make excuses. But debbie downer or not - it is hurtful when people judge - try being 13 again.
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