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too many injuries, too heavy and too late for riding?

7K views 46 replies 33 participants last post by  Cielo Notturno 
#1 ·
I have been reading this forum for a few weeks in my quest for direction on this, and am hoping to ask members for their guidance and advice, if they would be so kind.

Following a debilitating car accident at 16, I gave up the idea of horseback riding lessons, something I'd intended to pursue once I could pay for them. Due to a shattered right femur, hip injury and cracked pelvis, my orthopedic surgeon said that horseback riding would put too much pressure on the leg and hip. I was so happy to be done with surgery, out of the hospital and able to walk at all after a long period of rehab that I dropped the idea without a fight....but every time I saw, and especially interacted with a horse, I was saddened to my core. I told myself to be grateful for what I had and not grieve something I never did.

Fast forward 30 years (I'm on the wrong end of 46 now), and my husband and I went to Kentucky, so that I could see the horses. As luck would have it, we ended up at the Horse Park, where a very easy trail ride is offered - on very docile horses. I screwed up my courage, waited until no one was around, and asked the staff member if I could give it a try. I didn't detail the injuries; I felt, for the first time, an overwhelming need to not define and limit myself according to them. I don't know why it was so hard to ask; I think it's a demonstration of how daunting and permanent a lack of belief in oneself (and the dated pronouncements of a surgeon) can be. Thankfully, I asked the right guy; not only did he select a wonderful horse for me, he (gallantly and discreetly, without causing me undue embarrassment) hefted my overweight butt into the saddle so quick I didn't know what happened!

But I do know what happened next: it was life-changing. Except for the moment of my son's birth and my wedding day, I have never been happier in my life than I was for the hour of that ride. I felt at peace with the universe, and that I had a place in it that I had never envisioned - a place of joy, discovery and connection with the animal and natural world. I suppose I have always been so grateful to survive the accident physically that I never dared hope for more.

I came home determined to pursue lessons, and have found a teacher with decades of experience who understands my injuries well, as she has recovered from her own and has a medical background to boot.

Here's the hitch: I think she is worried about me - and I don't know if maybe, it pains me to say, she is right to be. Although my doctor says I can give it a try, I'm 5ft, 6inches and 250lbs, although muscular and toned from the swimming and weights I've always done to keep my mobility. At this weight, though, I fear I'll never be able to mount from the ground without pulling the saddle. Although my teacher has let me use a 3-step block, I just make it unassisted. I have a weak right leg, still limp when tired and suspect I'm not as well-balanced/coordinated as is desirable. She feels strongly that being able to mount from the ground and dismount without assistance is an immediately necessary step to learn, for safety's sake. Although she's very kind, and maybe I'm just insecure and overly sensitive, I think she'd privately rather I either give it up - or come back 50lbs lighter, and maybe better able to ride well because of it. I surmise this based on specific behaviour: she wants me to come on a pay-as-you-go plan (others at her stable pay for an 8-week session at a time); she has a staff member hold the horse when I mount; she asks me how I'm doing very frequently while on the horse; and, when I ask if she thinks I can do this, she says that only I can know that, and she just wants to be sure I am not hurt. She has also given me run of her stable and offerred generous access to interacting with her horses regularly via their care, assisting at shows, etc. She's a lovely person and this is her livelihood - I can come to no other conclusion except that I am a very marginal potential riding student.

I'm a tough cookie, and I'm in my big-girl panties - literally and figuratively- every single day, so I'm turning to you for your honest thoughts and advice, if you would be so kind. I know you all get the weight thing, and although you're clearly horse experts where I'm completely green, I can see from this forum that you would also get why concluding that I really can't do this after all makes it hard for me to breathe.

I fear that if I give this up now, I'll never go back. Let's face it, it took 30 years the first time! But do I push my teacher (and me) to proceed right now, as I am?

Thanks for reading my story, and in advance for any thoughts/advice you can offer.
 
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#3 ·
Welcome to the forum! At the place where I work at the barn owner had a serious accident and she still rides. I guess its a matter of willpower. But about the weight. Our limit is 225 lbs and any more than that you risk the horse's health.
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#5 ·
But about the weight. Our limit is 225 lbs and any more than that you risk the horse's health.
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That entirely depends on the rider and the horse. A good-size horse with good bone is fine carrying a heavier rider, as long as the rider doesn't sit in the saddle like a sack of potatoes. Many of the men who rope, and do reining and cutting are not small men, yet their horses (who are generally 14-15hh stock horses) carry them doing hard work with no issues. I have no problem riding my 16.1-2hh draft cross at 250lbs. My old BO was 6'4" and 240lbs of muscle and his favorite horse to ride on hard trail rides was a 15hh QH.
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#4 ·
I understand where your instructor is coming from, but I know MANY people (myself included) who cannot physically mount from the ground. In my case, not only is it a weight issue (right now, due to medical problems, I'm 5'7" and 240lbs...I'm use to being between 165-180lbs), but my left knee doesn't hold up well to the stress of pulling my weight up in that manner and I have limited range of motion in my left shoulder, so I can't physically reach up to the pommel of the saddle on my 16.1hh gelding. I use a mounting block (or stairs...or a rock...or a downed tree) to mount and I, along with most people I know see absolutely no issue with it.

Here's another thing to consider. Think of the pressure being put on the horse's back on one side if you mount from the ground. I would never dream of putting my boy (or any horse, for that matter) through that. It can throw out their back and cause all sorts of problem.

So, it looks like you have two options:
1- Step away from trying to find lessons for now, find a barn that will let you volunteer to care for the horses (therapy barns are great for this), lose the weight, and go back when you feel you're more physically fit.

2- Find another trainer who isn't as concerned about you being able to mount from the ground.
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#9 · (Edited)
We use mounting blocks for everyone regardless of height/weight. While one or two private owners may mount form the ground, they usually only do so if the mounting block is being taken up with students getting ready for a lesson; in that instance it is just a time saver.

There was a study done way back when, don't ask me WHEN I saw it, about the pressures of mounting form the ground vice a block..what it did to the horse. To make a long paper short, essentially it came to the conclusion that using something to get the rider higher up to mount was better than mounting from the ground, on a regular basis, as it was easier on the horse's back, and the rider for that matter. The other issue is that some people mounting from the ground or block, unless specifically told not to, tend to "thump" down on the horse's back when they first mount. It makes me wince every time I see it no matter if the rider is heavier or lighter.

I am a heavier rider as well, always have been and it has always been a major struggle. As was indicated, while show people tend to be on the thin side, working cowboys on their horses and even western riders showing can be larger men and their smaller horses carry them just fine...it is all in how the riding is done (balanced vs unbalanced). Quarterhorses are a stockier breed and can handle the heavier weights in many cases if they have the conditioning.
 
#10 ·
If this is something you love so very much, sacrifice should be in order. Be willing to work out lots and lose the weight, for yourself and the horse. Use a mounting block when you need it and I too had a bad accident, a car hit me as a pedestrian. It took a lot of work, but I love to ride. Do squats, they work wonders when it comes to mounting. Don't give up!!! It becomes a lifestyle! Good Luck!
 
#11 ·
I feel that you need these lessons. It makes you so happy to be riding a horse again (I can tell from how you're writing) and it's a lot different than just working with them on the ground (which is also amazing)

However if you want to improve, you need to be fit and I bet that if you work even 10 lbs off, you will feel so much better not only in the saddle but overall.

I don't mount from my ground.. not only is my knee shot from rugby and a boat propellar, but it's not good for the horse anwyay so I usually mount from a block or a stump or a picnic table or bench, etc.

You can do this!
 
#12 ·
I am 6'0" and 265 lbs (down from 300!). I ride a 1200 lb 15 HH appendix quarter horse mare. I have found that her back not too long to carry my weight, and that she is stocky enough and has the correct amount of bone in all the right places. We get from A to B without issue. If there was ever any discomfort expressed by her, I'd be off in a minute. ( I bought her around 900-950 lbs, and worked + fattened her up until her body had better muscle conditioning. )

I had a terrible back injury that kept me nearly bedridden and on worker's comp for 6 months. Riding has strengthened the muscles in my back and core, has encouraged me to lose more weight, and generally keeps me happy.

My thoughts? I think you should go for it.
A note. It is courteous to the horse to use a mounting block/tailgate/picnic table etc regardless of your weight. Yes, if you do trail riding, it makes the most sense to be able to get on and off from the ground. For lessons in an arena right now, though?? I think they should worry about you learning fundamentals before worrying about your ground-mounting abilities.

Also, your right knee is weak? Which side are you mounting on? I can mount my horse on either side, but the left is my preference. A well-trained horse should be able to be mounted from either side. :)

I really hope that you will be able to continue riding. It's one of the best things in life, honestly!
 
#13 ·
Don't let your size stop you! There are a lot of myths out there about how much weight a horse can carry. I've been OK'd to ride my 22yo 15hh Paint by several people, including vets and trainers. I'm 225 and 5'5". Of course when I first got him and he was underweight and under muscled, I didn't ride him till we got a month of rehab under his belt. :) I mount from a 2-step block. My horse misbehaves and for a while I was afraid it was my weight but he acts the same when the 100# trainer rode him and when the 150# trainer rode him and when the 190# farrier rode him. ;)
 
#14 ·
I am a beginner rider. Gained an extra ten, putting me at 202, and found out im pregnant. CRAP.

I had a tumor in my left ankle which was wrapped around nerves and my tendon. They left some in my heel bones, because the doctor said he would have had to saw my shin bone in half and pull my leg apart like a wishbone to get thw tissue in my heel. Eh. It makes walking harder, and its hard as hell to put that heel down!

Im a smidge over 5'2. And I cant mount from the ground. I use a bucket.

OP....dont give up. I know you must know this, but your body will feel so much better if you take off a few of those extra pounds. At 200 plus, I HURT. My knees hurt, my ankle hurts worse....I cant imagine what an extra 25 of baby fats gonna feel like. :/

Start small. All thats in between you and your dream is a few pounds! You can do it! Your trainer prob doesn't mean to , make you feel bad or weird....she is prob worried about you AND her horse. Talk to her about how you feel and work on losing ten pounds. Continue with your lessons. You will feel good at your start. I imagine mountimg would start getting easier once you hit 20 ;)
 
#16 ·
NICE thread. Love the honesty and sincerity. Sounds like you have as much heart as most horses do, love my horses! I have 2 horses, 1 is a mustang X thatis 14.2 (maybe) and the other is a standardbred who is 15.2 solid. I ride both at different times. I am 45yo, 5'5 and 1/2,,,lol,, gotta get the one half in and I weigh 179 lbs, THAT is down from 245. I wear a size 12 jeans ans a size Large t-shirt (mens) if that helps give you and idea of how big I am. I was lucky when I started I was a strong woman use to hard work. It took me quite sometime to get to this weight. Im still losing slowly but sure and now I have an even better motive, my Standarbred can jump up to 3 feet! YES! I am meeting a new trainer in the next week to set up appointments to start english riding and jumping. I can mount form the ground on both horses, lol obviously the mustang is an easier mount than the Standardbred but im getting faster. I had a hard time a few months ago to get on from the ground but I can do it now that i have worked on it. BUT thats also with a western saddle, Im not so sure about mounting from the ground with an english saddle, we will have ot see. Pprobably wont be taking pictures of that though LOL. SO if riding and lessons is what someone who may be overweight wants I say go for it, love it, enjoy it and dont ever let anyone make you feel like you shouldnt be doing it. I know of men that weigh 240 and 280 that ride and the horse is ok with it. I will definately have ot post some pics of me in some english apparel!!!! OH DEAR,,lol. Riding my STB,,,shes a doll, much more exoerienced than me. I cant wait to start jumping,,,but id like to get a little more weight off so I can have better balance.
 
#17 ·
It is never too late to pursue your passions in life.

I don't think you are too heavy to ride, as long as you are riding an appropriate horse.

I also don't think that your instructor is being fair in insisting that you mount from the ground. As has already been stated, most of us mount from whatever support we can find, simply for the sake of the horse's back.

Riding is a risk, no matter what. I would be scared for you, but I also know that when you are passionate about something, the risk is worth it.

I recently had this type of conversation with one of my children. The main point of it was "Riding should be fun. And you should be free to ride as you wish, even if it's on a leadline at a dead walk".

Do what makes you happy and find support in its pursuit.
 
#18 ·
I would say do not give up! Will loosing a few lbs make you feel a bit better in the saddle? Yes, it will, but keep riding as you loose them. So long as you are on a healthy horse with a good amount of muscle, your horse and you will be fine.

As far as having to mount from the ground... hogwash! My trainer would not allow me to mount from the ground on any of her horses because of the way it pulls on their back and this was when I was between 10-15 years old and a skinny child! I still try not to mount from the ground if I can help it and I'm 5'8 130lbs getting on a 17hh draft cross. It's always better to get up on something when you can, so I wouldn't worry about it one bit!

Find a trainer who is willing to teach you the way you are and continue working with you as you progress in every way.

And, if you find that after too much riding your old injuries become very painful, you should look into driving. You still get to have that connection and teamwork with the horse, without the strain on your legs.

Best of luck and stick with it!
 
#19 ·
Personally I think that you should continue riding. How often are you riding? I should think that the riding in itself will help with the weight loss. It is an excellent exercise and good for the soul, as you already found out.

As far as mounting from the ground, I think that one should be able to but not that they have to. I suspect your trainers concern is that you are not overly flexible or balanced but... keep riding and working at it and that will improve, if you quit now, it won't.

When I got Cancer, I gained 70 pounds and started feeling pretty bad about myself. I was extremely thin prior so even 70 pound more I wasn't THAT heavy but more then I wanted to be. I too struggle with my weight now but have managed to drop some of that weight off again. If you are dedicated to weight loss for your health and safety, horses can be a large motivator.

I find that bribing myself helps. "If I lose 5 pounds, I buy this" "If I can get down to this weight, I will buy this for myself" etc... My goal is to get down to my pre-sick weight of 115 pounds but I would be happy with 125 now that I too am older. ha ha I am 5' 6" and prefer a taller horse so... getting on from the ground has posed a challenge for me as well in the past. If you get yourself one of those step arobic steps and practice stepping up and down off that to strengthen your legs, maybe that will help. One step at a time but whatever you do... do NOT give up on this dream. You will always regret it if you do, just work hard to get the weight off so you feel more comfortable and have fun every step of the way. God Bless you for finding your happiness in this life and for hanging onto it.
 
#20 ·
Thank you all so much for your input. I have been feeling, privately, very sad about all of this, and the sense of so many understanding people out there willing to advise a stranger is heartening.

I am soon travelling on vacation to Nova Scotia, Canada, where I've located a well-established horse farm offering a 1hr lesson followed by a 1hr guided trail ride. I'm thinking to sign up, and use that experience to gain additional, objective perspective on my abilities (or lack thereof). Does that strike you as a good idea?

I am trying to be satisfied with learning to groom the wonderful horses at my teacher's barn, watching others complete their lessons and drills, and making myself generally useful on the farm in order to spend time with the horses. If indeed I have to face the fact that it's the best I can do, then I will live it - and gratefully, too. I often drive for hours in the countryside near my home just to catch a glimpse of horses in their paddocks. When no one can comfort me, the sight of the grace, majesty, perfection and humility of horses just being horses does.

It's because of my strong affection and affinity for them, though, that I would never want to cause a horse a moment's unnecessary discomfort or confusion by my ineptitude. Golden Horse said in an earlier post once you must be honest with yourself, and this strikes a deep chord with me. I want to, but I simply don't have enough information to do that, as my teacher seems hesitant to explore and evaluate my abilities (or disabilities), but she's too kind to simply send me away, either. This is why I think I'd better try for a separate, objective assessment from those with whom I have no relationship.

I hesitate to mention that, as so many have suggested, it's obvious to me that everything would be easier without the added burden of being significantly overweight. It's true that over the past 3 weeks, while trying to resolve all of this, I've intensified my exercising and dieting efforts, and am now actually 243lbs instead of 250, as of today. It's such a drop in the bucket, and I've traipsed up and down the scale so many times that I don't breathe a sigh of relief until at least 25lbs or so have come off. My policy is normally not to mention anything less than a 10% bodyweight loss, but I don't want you to think I haven't welcomed all of your advice.
 
#21 ·
If I were you, I would stick around this site and ask for help and encouragement where needed as well as just reading threads and learning more about every aspect of horse care and riding. It is a great place to learn and there are all types of people at all different levels of riding on the forum.
 
#23 ·
I've done a lot of work with para dressage and Riding for the disabled association. Compared to some of the people I've met in those roles your disabilitys are minor and should not Stop you riding, if it makes you happy go for it.

Whilst yes I would agree that losing weight would help your situation, it is not the be all and end all.

Mounting from the ground is not something I can do on my current horse because he will try and kill me if I do (and I'm fully able bodied), I always mount from a block if I have the option on any horse as moutning from the ground can twist the tree of a saddle.

Finaly I think your instructor is being very good about it. There is no way she can know if you are physically able to do something with your disability, only you can know that and instructors who insist otherwise are often the ones that have accidents. Very experianced Para instructors will be able to say, physically you should be able to do this, but they will never say you can do this.
A good friend of mine has a girdlestone hip, this means that she physically cannot sit a canter, doesnt matter what horse, how it canters or the speed of the canter, she cannot sit it. One instructor insisted on her cantering and she ended up taking quite a bad fall from it.
I know her well enough to say "yes/no you can/cant do this" but she still suprises me occasionaly.
she however puts me to shame when it comes to walk and trot.

She picks her horses very carefully for thier temprement, ability and for the size/type of walk and trot they have. A huge moving warmblood is no good for her as the movement is too big and her hip cant cope, but a short cobby choppy stride is also bad for her.

She gets on and off from a hydraulic mounting block that raises to half way up the horses side so that she can swing a leg over (as in physically pick up the leg with her hands and throw it over to be caught by an assistant on the other side) and then once in the saddle she sorts out her stirrups afterwards. To get off the horse takes 2 assistants) 1 holds the horse, the other takes her feet out of the stirrups and then she hoiks her leg (again phycially picks it up and throws it) over the horses neck (so she is sitting sideways on the horse) she then uses assistant number 2's shoulder to enable her to slide back onto the block and get her crutch.

Do not give up and it could be that you are your current instructors first disabled rider and she is unsure of how much she can push you. Build up that relationship, if something hurts tell her, if oyu cant do something discuss it with her, but you will never know if you can or cant do something untill you try it
 
#24 ·
Hey, seven pounds IS a big deal! You did great-it is much harder to get it off than put it on. I've had over a 50 pound fluctuation over my riding life, & at my heaviest, I could barely mount, had to have DH help me. Now, in my 6th decade,& arthritis setting in, I will get up anyway I can & do my darndest to stay up. Keep a positive attitude & don't give up your dreams.
 
#25 ·
Don't you dare give it up!!!! You are not too big, and while only you can determine whether your injuries will hold you back, I think your love of the horses should outweigh any of the effects. And as for the mounting block, there are lots of us who can't mount from the ground, and also lots of fit riders who use blocks anyway because it's easier on the horse! The thought of someone that in love with horses letting anything stand between her and them breaks my heart!

I gave up riding for 8 years, and the last 5 or so I've missed riding desperately but didn't think I could even show my face at a barn at my size. Well, after years of telling myself I could ride after I lost weight, I decided I'd had enough and started taking lessons (at a barn whose owner specifically welcomes riders who think they're too big or too old or too sick or too whatever).

While I only share your size issue, not the injuries, I have to say that getting back into riding is the best decision I've ever made.

As for your teacher, frankly I would find another. I am about your size (though an inch shorter and 10 pounds heavier), and everyone around me has been nothing but supportive and encouraging. If I had felt discouraged by a trainer, I probably would have abandoned the whole effort with my tail between my legs. So I'm impressed with you for keeping it up. If you really think your trainer isn't on board, ditch her.
 
#26 ·
Thank you, SammysMom, for your directness and encouragement - and all of you. So many of you have succeeded where I've feared to tred, it's undeniable that there's a way, if there's a will. And there is.

Yesterday, I went to a wine tasting event in the countryside, and beside it, incidentally, was a paddock with 2 beautiful horses grazing and enjoying each other and the sunshine. As everyone buzzed on enraptured about wine, cheese, yatta, yatta, all I could do was gaze over at the horses and dream of "what ifs". My husband said that had they been male humans, we'd have a big problem!

After a few hours of this, I could stand it no longer and finally got up and walked over, as I'd spotted their owner in her garden. She allowed me to visit and snuggle to my heart's content, just for the asking!

She asked me if I rode, so I gave her the social version of my situation - where I try not to sound devastated, lovelorn and pathetic. She told me she knows many people who have similar tales, but, quite simply, if you love them and your soul needs this, you find a way. I'm not a big believer in coincidence, but I think I was meant to hear that message, unadorned.

Today I went to the beginning of this thread I started in some despair and re-read the whole thing. I thought about how much time I'm spending on what makes me sad, as opposed to pursuing what makes me happy. I need to do everything you've all said: yes, lose the weight, do strengthening exercises and tell (not ask) the trainer I need to mount from a block -at least for now.
But also, pursue what I love, with confidence, as you do.

I'm going to sign up for that introductory lesson and ride with another trainer and seek an objective evaluation, and if my own trainer can't see her way clear to work with me as I am, right now, I must find another who will. The only way I will stop is if the horse tells me to, not my own insecurity - and not anyone else.

If you love them and your soul needs this, you find a way. Full stop.
 
#29 ·
You are sort of in the same position I'm in. Multiple injuries, plus being overweight, bad pain in my knees, so there's no way I could mount from the ground. I have checked out 3 step mounting blocks online, but they're $90 and more. Mounting from a tailgate sounds simple enough, if I could manage to get up on the tailgate, lol.
I am in no hurry, because I was given my mare almost a month ago, and she's very thin. Right now, I'm happy just to be able to groom and help feed.
But, I do want to ride again, someday. I'm 5'2" inches and weigh 205, which I am down 30 lbs. after my gall bladder surgery 4 months ago. Good luck to you. My middle daughter and I used to love to ride together, and it would make us both happy to ride together again.
 
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