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-   -   Tips for giving tips to another rider? (http://www.horseforum.com/horse-talk/tips-giving-tips-another-rider-106487/)

Iseul 12-17-2011 05:11 PM

Tips for giving tips to another rider?
 
Normally, I'd go along with the, "mind your own business" thing, but I feel like as she is my friend, I'd like to have a conversation with her..since I believe it's getting tithe point of becoming dangerous..
Now, both myself and another leasor are worried about our friend, who treats the horse she is leasing like she were a human. She doesn't correct her, and the mare has absolutely no respect for her. She thinks that if she corrects the mare, that she won't like her or want to be around her anymore.

My friend and I want to explain to her that she needs to be firm with this horse and not treat it like a baby, because this mare is going to hurt her. She has the potential to have a great relationship with the mare, but she needs to correct her and be the leader.

I want to make sure I can get my point across, but make sure she understands that I'm not trying to degrade and attack her, and that I'm just worried about her. I don't wantto come off as one of those riders/handlers that think they're know-it-alls..ya know?

I'm just asking for some different ways to say something to her..I have what I would normally say to anyone, but I'm a rather blunt person..which doesn't really help when I want to be gentle and explain something to someone and get somewhere with it..
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DuffyDuck 12-17-2011 06:11 PM

Leave her.

Some time soon she'll have an accident and she'll come crying, then you get to say I told you so.. now this is how you do it.

Until something bad happens, she won't believe you.

Skyseternalangel 12-17-2011 06:17 PM

Again, agree with Duffy. If it were like a riding tip, then I'd say differently. But if she's unwilling to view her horse as a horse.. instead of her my little pony best snuggle buddies forever pal, then one of these days she'll notice her horse is pushing her around and whatnot and wonder why this happens.

Just if it's about to get bad.. then obviously tell her without any subtlety like if her horse starts charging at her or rearing.

MHFoundation Quarters 12-17-2011 06:22 PM

Those kind of things are a double edged sword. It's hard to watch but it's really not your place to say anything.

Does the owner of the horse see or know how it's being handled? That would be the person who would have the right to say something.

tinyliny 12-17-2011 06:32 PM

The wise people who already answered have the correct answer. But, me, being the know it all I kind of am, would just HAVE to say something. So, I might phrase it either in terms of being worried for their safety.

Or, when you see the hrose barging into her space and pushing inconveniently onto her, you can ask, "Do you like it when he does that?" If she says, "No", then you say, "may I show you another way of dealing with that?" and off you go . . .

Iseul 12-17-2011 06:42 PM

The horse is suppose to be a type of "lesson" horse, and a show horse for the girl. I feel like the only reason she hasn't gotten it yet is that she's only been told by a person her age. I wanted to talk to her as a friend before talking to BO/Owner because I know BO won't try and relate with her about it.

I would leave it, like I have been. The thing is, she's been trying to lunge the horse lately (for the -wrong- reason) and the horse kicks, bucks, charges, and rears during these sessions so I've heard.

I'm willing to let her be a little put off as long as she takes it into consideration, but I know almost positively that the most she'll do is not listen to me, just by knowing her personality. I wanted to just talk to her about it before I told BO because I feel like she'd be more comfortable with me talking with her and explaining to her about it.

I understand that it's a double-edged sword and it's possible she would hate me, but I don't feel that if I said it without just being blunt and saying it (such as explaining and relating to her, which I can) that there would be no strife between us because of it.
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DuffyDuck 12-17-2011 06:46 PM

A lesson horse it will be though, one of hard knocks.

Honestly, let her crack on. If you interfere she may take it completely the wrong way, and then when things do go wrong, you're still stuck.

When things do go wrong, be the kightness in shining armour and grab the horse, do some basic ground work with it and let her see it can be easily managed.

But until the day she gets a finger bit off or a hoof print on her leg she'll just think you're a busy body.

Skyseternalangel 12-17-2011 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iseul (Post 1269702)

I would leave it, like I have been. The thing is, she's been trying to lunge the horse lately (for the -wrong- reason) and the horse kicks, bucks, charges, and rears during these sessions so I've heard.

I'm willing to let her be a little put off as long as she takes it into consideration, but I know almost positively that the most she'll do is not listen to me, just by knowing her personality. I wanted to just talk to her about it before I told BO because I feel like she'd be more comfortable with me talking with her and explaining to her about it.
Posted via Mobile Device

Well tell her anyway. Be like "hey I noticed your horse is acting silly when you lunge him.. I've found that if you do more groundwork, then the horse doesn't act up as much. I just don't want to see you get hurt. Let me know if you need any help" something like that.

Better that she dislikes you for being a busy body (you aren't btw :)) than having a hernia by getting rundown by a horse.

ElaineLighten 01-05-2012 03:44 PM

people that haven't asked for help might get annoyed when you offer it, I'd leave her to learn a lesson if I were you

tinyliny 01-05-2012 04:12 PM

that is always the tough one. Many people on this forum state their case about various kinds of training problems they read about here with great passion because they genuinely have a vision of danger for the handler and feel a "duty" to warn them. They take the risk of offending the person in question. However, that's internet advice, at a distance, not face to face.

I know that if I saw what I thought was a really dangerous situation in the making, I simply would not be able to do nothing.


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