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Moxie 07-03-2008 10:23 AM

POTTY TRAINING! (a lil long)
 
Alright, it's getting to be about that time that my son needs to start with the ever fun Potty Training. He's 3 will be 4 in Jan. I have joint custody of my son with my ex, so he spends 1/2 time with him and 1/2 the time with me. As it is right now, my son is registered to go to pre-school, however they wont take him if he isn't 100% completely accident free potty trained.

I feel that he isn't ready, he doesn't acknowledge that he has to use the bath room, and for-GET about going poop in the potty. Those simple facts make me push the potty training issue a lot less, the last thing I want to do is traumatize my child even more. My ex says that my son goes in the potty very well with him, however, he doesn't go on his own, they have to constantly remind him, or ask him if he needs to go. When my son needs to go poop, he'll hide, he'll go somewhere there isn't anyone else, and do his business, and then come out and tell us.

I think that at this point, my son wont be attending preschool this year because he's not going to be potty trained. This year is more like a play group anyway, however NEXT year would be beneficial for him to go. So yea, thats where I'm at.

Obviously this is a hot button topic with my ex and I, and of course he's the one that has to have everything his way or no way at all. Soon we'll be dealing with custody issues all over again.. .. grrrrrr. Dealing with such a jerk like my ex is what drove me (drives me still) into becoming a paralegal.

Anyway.. any advice? OOOoh and any advice to get my husband to stop pee'ing on the floor too that would be great.. lol.

farmpony84 07-03-2008 10:27 AM

Mine was 2 1/2 I think when he potty trained... I never did push him, I just let him decide when to do it...

Moxie 07-03-2008 10:42 AM

I know here, he don't push him, when he asks for a pull up, he gets one, we do ask every once in a while if he needs to go, if he says no, then thats that. I believe that pushing him could hurt him more in the long run, and I believe that he gets enough of that over at my ex's house, maybe he sees my house as a vacation from training? I don't know.

Dumas'_Grrrl 07-03-2008 02:01 PM

My son turned 4 in september. He has been potty trained since he was just over 3. I was to the point where I couldn't take it any more. I was tired of diapers and pull-ups weren't the answer for me. We did do the pull up thing for like 3 months then when my son was using them like diapers I just made the switch to big boy undies. Yes, it was a mess. Yes, I had towels on the couch. Yes, we told him that "big boys" don't go in their pants. Yes, I pushed him. It took Eli about 3 days to figure out that the toilet (I didin't use a potty chair) was his best bet. I of couse allowed for "accidents" but for the most part it was "go in the toilet". I had my hubby show him how to do it and off he went. I found that by 3 & almost 1/2 he understood what we wanted from him. He was just ok with going in his pants cuz he wouldn't have to stop playing and such. OH!!!! I also found out that peeing outside was great fun! He "watered" my plants! Anything to get him to go somewhere other than his pants. I knew we had the potty training down when he went #2 in the yard and told me that the dog does it! That was when it was TOILET TIME! I also grabbed a few of his matchbox cars and when he would go in the toilet I would take them off a shelf in the bathroom and reward him with a car. That just helped reinforce what we were working on! Good Luck Moxie!!! IMO...a little push doesn't hurt. We took it on like a new "project" that he was helping with.

TaMMa89 07-03-2008 06:19 PM

I remember an episode of Dr.Phil in which he solved some potty problems. I don't know if that is more girls' stuff but he used a doll. He gave a doll to a kid and told her that she should teach the doll how to use a potty. If I remember right it works. I'm not a psychologist but I reckon there was some psychological meaning in this situation. Maybe the kid felt she was authoritative when she ordered the doll using the potty. Like her parents were authoritative ordering her in the same situation. And a responsible teacher have to be a good paragon to her pupil (to the doll) ;).

Maybe there are a some kind of masculine doll which you could try?

Moxie 07-03-2008 11:42 PM

Thanks all for the advice, we're working on it, I guess that I am a bit over protective of him? I don't know, he'll be the only baby I'll ever have, so.

Like I said before, we push, but I don't want to push TOOOOO hard. Maybe a naked weekend is what we need? Umm... wait.. that didn't sound right... a diaper free weekend lol

BTW, Tamma, that was great advice about the dolly, and if Seth was a girl, I would be all for it, however, Seth I think is already a bit confused with girl/boy. He said "Me, girl mommy", he wants finger nail polish, he likes to wear my head bands, and says he has boobies.. .So yea.. I'd like to try not to confuse him anymore. LOL. I'm sure it's just a phase, and he will grow out of all of that before too long. :lol:

KANSAS_TWISTER 07-04-2008 12:01 AM

some people think that potty training at gun point is ok for the child....charlie is now 2, i think by 3 1/2 he should be ready!!! are you a memeber of cafemom.com? you might get some great insights on that there too

meggymoo 07-04-2008 09:27 AM

Lol, sorry but I dont miss the potty training days one bit. :lol:

I cant really remember potty training with my son, he's just turned 16..... From what I can remember, there were plenty of accidents and I think he was about 3yrs old.
I found potty training with Ellie, an absolute breeze, but then I was always told girls take to it quicker than boys, dont know how true that is, but I found it that way. Ellie was just over 2yrs when potty training began, she did however prefer the toilet to the pot. Never forget the day I nearly lost her down it! lol (joke) Although her bottom did go part way down, that was until I bought one of those seats that dont make the hole so big! :lol:

Moxie 07-04-2008 02:35 PM

haha Moo, I betcha Ellie loves that story!

We started out with just a simple potty chair, and of course my ex had to one up me, and start him on the toilet. I've been told that the potty chair is a good way to start because they can actually 'see' what they did. I dont know how much weight that carries with it.

We have Seth this weekend, but we're going camping, so the next weekend we have him, I will have to make a 'nakey' weekend, and we'll go from there.

Of course I allow accidents, he is only human. I dont scold for them, but I try to gently explain that going in the potty is where we do our business.

Maybe I'm not overly worried about it because I know that one he IS potty trained, he'll be off to school?? :cry:

LOL hard to say. Thanks everyone for their input on this subject.

Dumas'_Grrrl 07-04-2008 03:35 PM

MOXIE!!!! I totally forgot something!! I put 3 or 4 cheerieo's in the toilet for Eli to aim at! He had so much fun! That might help too! :lol:


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