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Whisper22 02-09-2012 11:40 PM

Just another vent.
 
Sorry, I know this is my second pointless vent in a short amount of time, but I have no one else to vent to. My husbands solution to every horse issue is to sell the horse, and there really isn't anyone else who gets why I would be so upset.

My SIL has a mare that is getting ready to have a baby in about six weeks. There are 6 horses that share one corral, and since not all the horses get along they have to be rotated, usually every couple of days. So, my SIL tells me today that she wants her mare to be turned out until the baby comes, as in NEVER put in a stall. Well since Sky is one of the horses that doesn't get along with her, that means she has nowhere else to go but in her stall for the next six weeks. I tell my SIL I would like it if she can at least get one day a week to stretch her legs. She says she just really doesn't want her standing around at all, so I ask her what's wrong with her standing around for a day, did someone tell her she couldn't stand in a stall, she says no, she just doesn't want her to and makes it sound like six weeks isn't that long.

I try to explain that I have already had one cribber from being stalled 24/7 and really didn't want to have another one. Plus Sky just came off of three weeks of stall rest from her face infection at the end of December. The response I got was "Well Yvane is my baby, and it's our house, sooo...." Really? This is supposed to be family, family that I spent this past Saturday helping put up a barn that MY horse wont even be using, and was happy to do it. But to be so disrespected and denied one freaking day for my horse. If you have good reasons that can't be compromised then voice those reasons, but to pull the "it's MY house" card.

In the end we settled on one day a week for Sky for the next six weeks. Sad, right? I was much, MUCH nicer than I felt like being. I don't know how much longer I can stand people who care so little, and who have no desire to learn.

themacpack 02-10-2012 06:31 AM

Ah, the joys of working with family/friends. Honestly, more often than not, this is exactly the result - someone pulling the "well it's my ....." card. Do you pay any sort of board? Is there any sort of formal agreement in place? Is this the SIL that is a minor (I get members confused sometimes, sorry if I am mixing you up but I *think* you are the poster who has the SIL - same SIL? - with an out of control horse?)?

Whisper22 02-10-2012 10:22 AM

Lol, no that's not me. My SIL is actually 15 years older than me, and I'm not a minor either. I only pay enough to help her with her electric bill, so practically nothing, and there is no formal contract. That's why this sucks so bad, instead of just saying "well I pay board here, sooo...", I just have to grin and bare it. I just cant even believe it was a discussion at all. I would NEVER treat people that way.

The really funny part is she tried to justify it by saying "I know how it feels to be big and pregnant." Yeah, so do I and the last thing I want to do is move around. Not that she shouldn't get to, but is it just me, or does it not make sense to let her potentially have her baby turned out with other horses in a small corral. Ahhhh, I don't get the logic behind her being so selfish. And she has a husband that backs her up on this crap. Ok, freak out over. I have to go see her in about an hour, and I'm a little stressed over the whole thing.

BigGreyHorse 02-10-2012 10:43 AM

I have come to the conclusion that most any business arrangement with family is going to go bad at some point. Because it's family, you are stuck and end up chewing your tongue for the rest of your life and internalizing a boat load of anger. Do yourself a favor and find another place for your horses. They will be happier having turnout and you won't have ulcers from the stress!

tinyliny 02-10-2012 03:38 PM

Why can you not rotate the horses halfway through the day, so every horse gets a half day turnout?

Whisper22 02-10-2012 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigGreyHorse (Post 1351863)
I have come to the conclusion that most any business arrangement with family is going to go bad at some point. Because it's family, you are stuck and end up chewing your tongue for the rest of your life and internalizing a boat load of anger. Do yourself a favor and find another place for your horses. They will be happier having turnout and you won't have ulcers from the stress!

I completely agree. I'm looking into any possibility of getting out of there. We are even considering renting out our house and finding our own place to rent on horse property.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tinyliny (Post 1352276)
Why can you not rotate the horses halfway through the day, so every horse gets a half day turnout?

Ha, that would require work on their part. I live 30 min away and it's just not possible for me to do it. I agree it would be best, and I would do it free of charge for them, but they're not me. They have 4 horses but they only care about the pregnant one, they could care less about the others, let alone mine.

I had a system worked out where I would let my horse out on Saturday with the others she could be with, and then rotate them on Tuesday when I came back. I'm also there on Thursday, but this way her horse is out four days and mine is out three. They never had to worry about it, as I was doing all the work and they never had to catch my horse (another story). But every time I would show up on Tuesday my horse would already be put away, sometimes just her, and who knows how long she'd been there. Could of been the minute I left the day I let her out. I can't trust what they say when I ask.


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