Future inlaws from hell!!
Am not sure which "of the topic" forum to put this in but any way here goes..
Il try and keep this brief...
I was great friends with a girl Mary* at school, from first year right up to A-Levels we were like 2peas in a pod, but during our A-Levels there was alot of issues at home and like most people would be I wasnt myself and Mary* and 2of our other friends just thought I was going on weird and all announced that they didnt want to be freinds anymore.. I tryed to explain what was happening at home but they didnt care and for the last 2months of school they spent the whole time bad-mouthing me to everyone else in our class. Was horrible! I was so glad to be finished school that summer for all the wrong reasons..... Fast forward 2years and I bump into Mary* one night in a pub and shes all apologetic and begging to be friends again.. and me been the big softly Iam I said ok. and to be honest I was so happy that we were friends again, it was like nothing had happened we were having nights out every other week and going to each others houses for girly nights.. was brilliant, then one night I got introduced to her cousin, and we hit it of straight away.. which I dont think she was to impressed by. Within 1yr of me and her cousin dating she had stopped answering my texts, returing calls .. she just seemed to be distanting herself, but if I did happen to see her everything was fine, I tryed asking had I done anything to upset her but was told everything was gran, she was just bogged down with uni wk.. Then on her birthday I was kinda expecting to geta txt saying what was happening at the wken, because I rang her house and her mum said she was having a big night out at the wken and shed tell Mary* I rang.. no txt. Me and my boyfriend then heard through another cousin what pub every1 went to so we headed up as we were already in the town.. when I walked in she competely blanked me and my boyfriend, so I went up and said could I have a word outside .. when we went out I was in the middle of saying Happy Birthday and she just lunged into this rant of how she hated me..every1 including my bf (her cousin) hated me and that she never wanted to see me again.. I got quite upset and ran back into the pub, she came after me and just as I was about to tell my bf that I wanted to go she told him not to go with me.. stay with her and dump me! .. He told her to piss of and left with me.. Since that day Iv lost count how many "family dos" Iv bumped into her at and its been so awkward for me and my boyfriend.. she made a point of going around everyone ..all aunts, uncles,cousins etc and giving them her made up side of the story, they will speak to me but did you ever get that feeling everone is looking at you like they hate you? well thats what its like.. so again me been a peace-maker at heart, I tryed to speak to her one night to basically say, can we move on from this...the following day her mum phoned me and told me to f**K of and leave her little girl alone! Now my boyfriend knows about everything that happened but I honestly think that hes to laid back to challenge them about how they have treated me and doesnt want to "ruffle any feathers" in the family.. his mum knows about her sister ringing me and she has never said a word to me about it.. I think they just want to pretend none of its happening. Its so upsetting, I dont know how to deal with this situation, am a lover not a fighter, am not cut out for all this bitching and back stabbing.. What would you do?? Has anyone ever had a similar situation?? http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/i...s/icon_cry.gif http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/i...s/icon_cry.gif
p.s. This has been going on for 4 long years!!:shock: am at my wits end
Honestly if your boyfriend cares he would say something.
There is a way to do it without making it a huge thing, his family should respect him enough to show you some respect.
I kind of had the same issue with my boyfriends mother.
she was my boss for 4 years, not that great of one either.
We had our moments where we got along, we never worked together much, and it was easy to talk to her...you know she was nice to my face. But she was always giving me less hours and then if her other workers complained about there amount of hours she would take some from my schedule to add to theirs. She has a problem with trying to please and make everyone happy but really ending up pissing others off.
Wow did not mean to submit I was not finished.
So anyways, after dealing with it for so long I was sick of being shorter just because she was trying to make others happy and she knew I would not say anything to her. I went up to look at my hours and when I saw the changes I called her a dumb bitch under my breath...not knowing anyone over heard. She found out and was not happy. She also told a girl I worked with that she thought I was a spoiler brat and all I cared about were people that had money and that those were they only people I would have anything to do with. She also called me a rich bitch.
I ignored what was being said and remained civil with her.
When we worked together I was always nice and made conversation and she acted like she really liked me.
I had only meet her son a few times in the last 2 years I worked for her and for a year and a half of that time he had a girlfriend. I would tease my boss about him being cute and she would smile and say "I know".
Anyways he ended the relationship with his girlfriend and was single. I did not know all this time she had been going back and telling him what I had been saying and his dad kept pressing him to break up with his girlfriend to date me.....both his parents did not like his ex.
So anyways one day I went to work to look at my schedule before going to town and he was up there visiting his mom, looking very cute I might add. After I left I sent his mother a text saying something along the lines of her son being sexy and she sent me back haha. I did not know at the time she showed him the text, but not to long after we started talking and then started dating....we have been together for a little over a year and a half and we live together.
Anyways, about a month in to our relationship I got offered a new job as an E911 dispatcher, seeing as I was 20 at the time and working two jobs (Suhway and Aeropostale) and living in a house that my father owned and payed the bills
for, I knew it was time to grow up so I took the job and put my two weeks in at Subway (where he mother managed) and Aero.
she was very happy and supportive of us being together and never said an ill word to me.
I formed a very close relationship with her and his father.
Everything was fine until we moved in together.
she started talking bad about me to my old coworkers and people in town, word got back to me and it hurt. She was saying things that were way false about me.
Saying I was a gold digger, a whore, and a snobby bitch that never came around or allowed her son to come around them anymore.
I ignored it for a few months and figured she was just mad and sad because her baby had moved out.
After about 3 months things were stol being said so I told my boyfriend about it.
at first I asked him not to say anything about it but once he got word of things she was saying from other people he confronted her.
Not in a negative way, he just simply told her that he loved me and was going ti be with me no matter what others thought and that if she loved and respected him she would put her personal feelings aside and show me the same kind of respect.
He even addressed some of the things she was saying, like how we do come around every Sunday and spend time with all of his family at his grandparents house for hours and we call during the week, how I am not a whore because I have only been with one person (him) [side not...he was my first everything believe it or not], and how I was far from a gold digger because I never ask and much less allow him to buy me things give me money or pay for things, so she had no right or reason for saying the things she was.
Long story short, she said she was sorry to both him and me and we have not had problems since. We talk almost on a daily basis and I love her like she was my own mother, heck I plan on both my father and his to walk me down the aisle on our wedding day.
Anyways, my point is once everything is out there everything will feel much better. Even if you do not get as good an outcome as I did at least you will know you did all you could do.
I simply cannot wade through that big of a block of text without some breaks and puncuation.
Just remember you are marring him not the family ,I have see this with my brothers getting married ,my mother and sister tarry apart the wife, I tell them if they keep it up my brother and his wife will not come over any time, so mom you have to except the fact that is his wife so far there is peace
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