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lindsayw 02-16-2012 03:56 PM

dating a farrier, how do I deal with his schedule??
 
Hi everyone! I'm new, and I'll apologize in advance if this questions is not in the correct category, I wasn't sure quite where to place it.

I'm just looking to talk to other people who are dating a farrier because I want to ask how you deal with the schedule, as it's very unpredictable. I also want to know how you deal with promoting your other half :-P

My name is lindsay, and I am dating a farrier. He has a schedule that is totally up and down, and it's hard to nail him down for plans. I'm really not sure how to deal with this because if we make plans, and he gets a call for a blown shoe or extra clients show up at a barn when he's working, our plans get pushed back or cancelled.

I can understand this, but it's really difficult to deal with. lol I don't know if anyone has any advice for me.

I also promote his services whenever I can, I wonder if I should get him involved with my friends who own horses, and what kind of backlash this could create if they don't like him or vice versa.

Thanks in advance for your responses, and sorry again if this is in the wrong category!!

Lindsay

cmarie 02-16-2012 04:12 PM

It's basically how much are you willing to put up with in the relationship, plans get changed in every relationship, this is his livelihood, your going to have to deal with it or get out of the relationship, if he can't say no to his clients because you have plans. Ask yourself is he worth the aggravation, if yes than go with the flow, if no get out.

natisha 02-16-2012 04:12 PM

I've dated a farrier but I don't find it any different than dating any professional who has on call hours or emergencies, like doctors, vets, some firefighters, police etc. I goes with the territory.
He's self employed & a good farrier will sometimes have to adjust his schedule. The last thing he will want is a girlfriend who doesn't understand. I would be proud to have a guy who goes out of his way to help others, even if sometimes it interferred with my plans.
Remember he comes in contact with a lot of females so you need to be the one who he likes best. Be supportive.
As for friends, let them ask you if they are looking for a farrier.
I hope this helped.

lindsayw 02-16-2012 04:31 PM

Thank you for your replies! :D

They were both helpful. As for me, i have never dated someone with such an unpredictable schedule, so I'm trying to get my feet under me and figure out how to deal with it while being supportive.

He is great with his clients, and very supportive to them which is great, but it means he will never make plans because of "what if". The only plans he makes are appointments like chiropractic or such.

I just find it strange that he puts his whole life on hold for this, how does he expect to have a successful relationship, marriage, family etc, if they are always on hold for his job? 95% of the time our plans change, and we don't really make plans, which means I'm always "waiting" to hopefully get to see him. I find this a bit unreasonable, but I'm willing to give it a try because I think we could have a great future together.

It's my goal to be supportive, because I am self employed also. But I make a point of making special time for those I care about. :-)

natisha 02-16-2012 04:36 PM

Are you sure he wants the same things you want, long term?

mystykat 02-16-2012 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lindsayw (Post 1363383)
Thank you for your replies! :D

They were both helpful. As for me, i have never dated someone with such an unpredictable schedule, so I'm trying to get my feet under me and figure out how to deal with it while being supportive.

He is great with his clients, and very supportive to them which is great, but it means he will never make plans because of "what if". The only plans he makes are appointments like chiropractic or such.

I just find it strange that he puts his whole life on hold for this, how does he expect to have a successful relationship, marriage, family etc, if they are always on hold for his job? 95% of the time our plans change, and we don't really make plans, which means I'm always "waiting" to hopefully get to see him. I find this a bit unreasonable, but I'm willing to give it a try because I think we could have a great future together.

It's my goal to be supportive, because I am self employed also. But I make a point of making special time for those I care about. :-)

Sounds like you know what you want in a relationship...and his schedule is not it.
He puts his whole life on hold for this because it's how he makes money. Without money, he wouldn't have a life.
Just relax, go with the flow and be spontaneous. I'm sure you'll adjust, especially if he's worth it. :D

lindsayw 02-16-2012 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by natisha (Post 1363391)
Are you sure he wants the same things you want, long term?

So he says. :-) he wants to move in with me next month.
Posted via Mobile Device

lindsayw 02-16-2012 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mystykat (Post 1363393)
Sounds like you know what you want in a relationship...and his schedule is not it.
He puts his whole life on hold for this because it's how he makes money. Without money, he wouldn't have a life.
Just relax, go with the flow and be spontaneous. I'm sure you'll adjust, especially if he's worth it. :D

i understand. i dont pretend to like his schedule lol ill give it a try though :-)
Posted via Mobile Device

mystykat 02-16-2012 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lindsayw (Post 1363401)
i understand. i dont pretend to like his schedule lol ill give it a try though :-)
Posted via Mobile Device


The more okay with it you are - the more he'll like you.. So try not to fuss too too much! :lol: Of course, there can be some allowances :p

Speed Racer 02-16-2012 04:50 PM

Is he young and just starting out? The new guys need to be available at all hours, or they'll get the reputation for being unreliable.

His clients will make or break him, so until he's established and has a stellar reputation he can't afford to be unavailable, especially during emergencies.

My farrier is married with 5 (!) children, and some days his wife finds it difficult to deal with his schedule, so you need to realize that while it may get better it'll never go away completely. They do take time off to go places and do things as a family, but he always gives his clients a heads up ahead of time that he'll be out of town or not available.

If you're hoping for spontaneity and getting away on the spur of the moment, that's not going to ever be a part of your relationship as long as he's a full time farrier.

As far as promoting his business, he needs to have business cards made up and put them up at tack and feed stores, as well as any boarding barns in the area. You trying to push him off on people may not be received very well, since you're hardly unbiased concerning his actual skill sets.

My farrier has over 300 horses, and he still has days where the money is a little sparse depending on his schedule. He doesn't have a day job any longer but he does do odd jobs on the side, such as cutting and selling firewood during the winter, and fencing during the spring and summer.

I do wish your guy luck, because good farriers really can make decent money once they're established.


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