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Trixafena 03-09-2012 10:41 AM

Riding Lessons/Getting back into riding
I'm not sure if this is the right forum-- but I wanted to ask anyway..
I started "properly" riding horses in 2006 taking lessons, I got to walk/trot/canter and then my mom took me out of lessons and got me my own horse. I never had all that much time to ride him, and eventually she traded him for a QH mare. (Shasta :3) who I rode walk/trot and my first time cantering she bolted and we took off at the barn at full tilt LOL.

Well, We've finally finished our riding ring in our upper field and my moms been helping me get back into riding (she's rode her whole life, also.) and I sorta wanted to ask her to put me back into lessons for around two months. but I'm really not sure how I should ask her without feeling insulting or such, because she's really a great teacher but I feel like I'd be more comfortable learning from someone else just to get back into it xD

How could I mention this to her..?

Or, if not lessons, how could I get myself used to riding again? It's been a year since I've w/t/c. I've only walked and trotted my haflinger Prince as of lately .

kitten_Val 03-09-2012 11:26 AM

Lessons is ALWAYS a great way to improve your riding. Doesn't matter if you've been off or riding every day and want to learn something new or progress.

You can always tell your mom that you want to take some professional lessons because you want to try something different, or thinking about showing. :wink:

MHFoundation Quarters 03-09-2012 11:39 AM

As Val said, lessons are always a good idea!

I can relate to the mom side, my mom is a retired trainer and the majority of my lessons growing up were with her. I did take lessons with several other trainers though, you can get a lot out of lessons with someone who isn't family. Or at least I did. For me, (especially during my teen years) I was much quicker to ignore advice from or argue with my mom. She was more than happy to ship my butt off to someone else every once in awhile :lol:

Maybe it could be something where she could go along as a quiet spectator and then it would give you both ideas to use at home and she could still stay involved.

xxBarry Godden 03-10-2012 03:34 PM

Explaining to Mom
Trixa, Your fundamental problem appears to be one between yourself and your mum. It is not as uncommon as you might think, my own Mother never really understood me. Somehow you have to get across to Mom that you do not have the confidence to ride but now you really want to find a way so that you can enjoy the horse she bought for you. She is going to offer to help you because she believes she knows how, but what she won’t accept is that she can’t teach you - she simply doesn’t have the skills to teach a complete novice.

For all sorts of reasons you need a professional trainer - which your mum thinks is a waste of money.

To give an example - I have always felt comfortable in water. The trick is all about relaxing. “Go with the flow”. But I have always had a problem trying to show learners how to swim. I simply can’t understand why they have phobias of being in water, certainly fear of water is something which I have never experienced. Likewise your mum simply can’t understand your fear of being on horseback. If a horse bolted with her on its back, then she would be seriously annoyed with the horse, not frightened of falling off it.

When my brother wanted to learn to swim we were holidaying in a hotel with a pool which we had all to ourselves. Luckily the pool had a shallow and a deep end. Over the course of a few days I showed him that if he closed his mouth and held his breath and jumped into the deep end that he couldn’t sink. He would float with his feet down and his head above water; the air in his chest would act as a buoyancy aid. To his credit he did as was told and he floated with his eyes above water. Then all he had to do then was to work out how to move in water, so we did the dog paddle together. Now dog paddling isn’t either the most effective way to swim nor the most elegant - but it works and that’s why dogs do it that way. Eventually my brother learned to swim properly. The big problem had always been to get him to try.

If, as a novice, you’ve been on a horse which has bolted off with you, then somehow you must erase that memory of being out of control. Your new 3yo will not be the horse to erase your fears. You need a calm school horse and you will need to progress, taking one step at a time. You also need to understand the theory of riding and I doubt if Mom has ever bothered to worry about ‘boring’ theory.

So my suggestion would be, go find an instructor. Go say: “hello“. Explain your predicament and then go home and tell Mom that you really do want lessons so that you can learn to ride like she does. It is worth a try.

PS Always wear a riding hat - whatever Mom says.

Gleek 03-14-2012 07:28 AM

Tell her you'd like to see how other people are taught to ride, their methods and stuff like that. Say you want to meet others who are learning to ride?

fkonidaris 03-14-2012 09:31 AM

Depending on the relationship you have with your mom, I would be very mature about the situation and let her know how you feel. I personally don't think it's easy for parents to coach their kids. It's done, but with more pressure and bias usually. I know from experience...I taught dance/gymnastics for nine years and I refused to have my daughter in my classes as I found I was harder on her than others. There's nothing wrong with getting outside advice, help, opinions to improve on your riding or learn new techniques.

busysmurf 03-14-2012 09:52 AM

Like everyone said, the best thing is just to talk to her. I was giving J (9 yrs old) lessons for awhile, and it always seemed to end up w/ me banging my head on something and her crying. So she did just what others are suggesting. She said "mom, I don't like taking lessons from you, you make me nervous & frustrated." I was smart enough (for once) to give her what she asked for.

And it's now working out rather long as I stay out of the arena, LOL

Singh559 03-17-2012 07:39 AM

If your mom is an expert, maybe if you really want to start riding again you should just learn from her. It will save you money and you can spend time with her.

If starting up again is really important to you, your motivation shouldn't be fueled by paying a teacher.

Just my .02 cents

Trixafena 03-17-2012 03:44 PM

So.. My dad (parents are divorced) the other day said he wanted to put me into art classes. ( I can draw..fairly well.)
I kindly said I'd rather take riding lessons because I wan't to work with horses/ride horses for a living.. and he got wicked upset with me, saying how horses are a waste of time.
I was going to ask him about lessons if I couldn't build up the courage to ask my mom. Looks like I'm stuck asking her now..

SmallTownGypsy 03-18-2012 04:42 PM

Just got to say it. It will make for a much better situation for you. I had similar issues when I was trying to learn swing dances from my husband. It was horrible. There was a reason though. If I didn't understand, he would get frustrated and then I would get pissed at him for being frustrated with me since I was just learning. In that mentality, I became defensive and put up a block where I just wouldn't listen to him. It was just a constant escalation until we finally just walked away mad. It was not well for our marriage! lol Outside lessons, without each other, was the best way to go. You'll have a better mother/daughter relationship and that's important.

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