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Tennessee 04-04-2012 08:44 PM

I could use some advice....
 
I will try to keep this as short and sweet as possible.

For the past five or six years I have wanted to join the military. I've been talking with recruiters since I turned seventeen, and after spending lots of hours researching, talking with those who are serving/have served, I have decided that the United States Navy is the branch that will best fit me.

The problem is my parents. I turn 18 on April the 13th, which is obviously not very far in the future. Because I am so close to being 18, my recruiter has been getting everything ready for me to join. I've been doing pretty much everything behind my parents backs. They know I've been to a recruiter, but they think I went just to ask some questions to learn more about the Navy....not to get ready to start the process of joining.

On April the 16th, I have a date to MEPS, which is basically where they make sure that you are able to join the military. I will have to miss two days of school and the MEPS station is about 2 hours from my town. I will have to spend the night, and obviously my parents will eventually recognize that I am not home.


I have tried to talk to my parents about my decision to join the military and even though I always bring it up in a calm, rational manner, somehow or another it ends up with me being pissed off and my mother yelling. They are so set in their ways, even though when I talk about it I try to be very mature about it and insist that it is going to be the best thing for me.

So, seeing that April the 16th is not that far away and that my parents are not going to come around, I was considering pretending like I was leaving for school, going to my recruiter the morning of the 16th when I was supposed to leave, and basically not calling/texting my mom and telling her until I was already in Memphis. I KNOW...this is probably a really bad idea, but I don't have many other choices as they won't listen to me.

I am sooo nervous. I really want to tell them, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'll think about bringing it up but then chicken out whenever I try to sputter out the words. I understand that you all do not know my parents nor do you know how they would react, but what would you do if your kid did what I am planning to do? I'm scared that my mom is going to kick me out of the house or something, but I really don't know any other way to get this done.

Kudos to you if you've managed to make any sense out of this.

waresbear 04-04-2012 08:52 PM

No, you go tell them now what you have arranged & planned. They are your parents, they love you and hopefully, will eventually support your career choice. Being deceitful to save yourself some hassle is never a good idea. If my child did this, I would be very, very hurt I didn't get a chance to say good bye before they left. Good luck.

Tennessee 04-04-2012 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waresbear (Post 1439105)
No, you go tell them now what you have arranged & planned. They are your parents, they love you and hopefully, will eventually support your career choice. Being deceitful to save yourself some hassle is never a good idea. If my child did this, I would be very, very hurt I didn't get a chance to say good bye before they left. Good luck.


I think if I tell them, though, they will try and stop me at any possible costs from going to my recruiter. I have NO idea what my parents will do because my mom can get pretty out of control.

I'm only going to be gone that Monday and Tuesday, and then will be back home (considering my mom doesn't give me the boot out the front door), hopefully with my job and boot camp date.

CLaPorte432 04-04-2012 09:28 PM

That's a sticky situation. Can I ask WHY they don't want you to join the military? What are the reasons behind it?

I think it's wonderful that you are going to serve your country. I (This is so cheesy, but if I didn't have my dog, I would serve as well.) And it's honestly a GREAT choice that is going to set yourself up for major success in your future. I can't even fathom why they wouldn't want you to do this except for purely selfish reasons on their own part.

If it was me and my parents refused but I was absolutely POSITIVE that that's what I wanted to do. I'd tell them flat out what I'm going to do and I'd be prepared to be kicked out. Give them your reasons on why you feel the military is for you and how it's going to advance you for your future.

Also, what's the rush about signing up on your 18th birthday. I'm guessing you are nearly ready to graduate, is there a reason you want to sign the papers now as opposed to another month or so? Then if your parents kick you out, your already graduated and don't have to worry about school.

Tennessee 04-04-2012 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CLaPorte432 (Post 1439169)
That's a sticky situation. Can I ask WHY they don't want you to join the military? What are the reasons behind it?

I think it's wonderful that you are going to serve your country. I (This is so cheesy, but if I didn't have my dog, I would serve as well.) And it's honestly a GREAT choice that is going to set yourself up for major success in your future. I can't even fathom why they wouldn't want you to do this except for purely selfish reasons on their own part.

If it was me and my parents refused but I was absolutely POSITIVE that that's what I wanted to do. I'd tell them flat out what I'm going to do and I'd be prepared to be kicked out. Give them your reasons on why you feel the military is for you and how it's going to advance you for your future.

Also, what's the rush about signing up on your 18th birthday. I'm guessing you are nearly ready to graduate, is there a reason you want to sign the papers now as opposed to another month or so? Then if your parents kick you out, your already graduated and don't have to worry about school.

My guess would be because that I am their only girl and they were expecting me to grow up, go to college, and stay in this dying town so I can live a miserable life just like they do.

I plan on telling them, only when I am on my way to Memphis....that way my crazy mother won't do something irrational and will have time to calm down before she can get her hands on me. I've tried multiple times to tell them. My dad will listen, but my mom won't hear a word of it.

I graduate in the middle of May. The sooner I go to MEPS, the sooner I can get a date for boot. It's not that I'm rushing, I just don't want to have to wait around for a long time to get a start on my future.

Faceman 04-04-2012 10:06 PM

Well, I'm old enough to be your grandaddy, so I'll give you some grandaddy advice since you asked for it...:rofl:

Stay in school, get your degree, and then join the military. You will be older, able to make more mature decisions, and can likely get a job in the military that will match your degree, so when you get out you will have both education and experience in a career...

Tennessee 04-04-2012 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Faceman (Post 1439247)
Well, I'm old enough to be your grandaddy, so I'll give you some grandaddy advice since you asked for it...:rofl:

Stay in school, get your degree, and then join the military. You will be older, able to make more mature decisions, and can likely get a job in the military that will match your degree, so when you get out you will have both education and experience in a career...


Ehhh...I don't think college is really for me. I was never a bad student, but most of my high school career has been spent under cars, welding, stuff like that. If I wasn't joining the Navy, I'd be going to a vocational/technical school to do welding.

IquitosARG10 04-04-2012 10:14 PM

I was in your same position, althought I was 19. I called my parents from MEPS...not the greatest plan I ever had but it's what I had to do.

You know what is right for you. My mom was and still is the hardest sell ever. She'll never approve of it but she tries and I know she is proud of me :)

I would have a serious sit down discussion with them about it - tell them your plans, what job your are going to do, why you are proud to do it, and how this will have a positive effect on your life. I wish you the best - it will be an amazing journey.

flytobecat 04-04-2012 10:21 PM

There's no reason why you can't be in the Navy and still get your college degree.
In fact they will probably encourage you to continue your education.
I think your mother is probably worried because you will be growing up and leaving.
IMO-by the way you are handling this, she has good reason to worry.
Put away your ego and temper, sit down with them one night, and calmly discuss your decision with them. Let them know that this isn't just a whim, and that you've carefully thought this out from all angles.
Their your parents, they may not like it, but they will deal with it.

CLaPorte432 04-04-2012 10:21 PM

Since your dad will listen, maybe tell him what your planning on doing so atleast someone knows where you will be (the whole safety thing) and then he can talk with your mother. I hate playing dad against mom, but if she won't listen to you, maybe she will listen to him? She needs to understand that your not 5 years old anymore and that your growing up to be an independent young woman with dreams of your own.

Can you write her a letter and really go into detail on how you feel and how she makes you feel that you won't accept what your really want to do. Leave it on the counter for her to find before you leave? Maybe guilt tripping her will help? LoL, I don't know...I'm fortunate to have parents that would love to kick me out of the house. LMAO!


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