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TimWhit91 04-13-2012 02:50 PM

Wedding advice
Okay, my boyfriend asked me to marry him a few months ago, of course I said yes, I can't see my life without him :) But now his mom is pushing us for a date. I don't know how much weddings cost, I wasn't planning on getting married RIGHT away. Now she has mentioned august as a good time, and my fiance likes that idea. I'm a little worried we will not have the money to do it so soon, and if it is this august I will have to get invites out super soon...We haven't even really talked about it. If his mom didn't keep asking, I don't think he would have even worried about it until next year, which I think would be better for us financially. My mom also is pushing for next year as opposed to this year. I'm kind of torn. I want to marry him as soon as possible, but I need more than a few months to plan a wedding...And I think we really need to save more money first. Any advice for me? I could also use wedding tips and suggestions, all I know is I want it to be outside with traditional white dress and tux.

Ladytrails 04-13-2012 03:06 PM

Well, the good/great news is that both moms are in favor of you marrying your boyfriend! You're very lucky in that regard!

Having said that, it's your life, your wedding, your schedule.....unless you are also fortunate enough that your moms can do a lot of the planning for you, and pay for whatever you haven't saved for yet.

As a mom of a son and daughter, both of whom got married in the past 2 1/2 years, I can tell you that it's not a bad thing to have a year-long engagement period instead of 4 months. Planning to get married and planning a wedding are both pretty stressful and a longer engagement will allow you to both get used to things and - important - have fun as an engaged couple!

I think you should talk to your mom and let her know how you feel. She can maybe talk to the boyfriend's mom...or you can. Be sure to tell her how happy and pleased you are that she is eager to have the wedding soon! :-)

TimWhit91 04-13-2012 03:17 PM

Thank you, I think I am probably going to talk to my fiance about waiting. I would rather have fun with him and slowly plan things instead of rush a wedding together in 4 months. I am very happy both parents agree, my parents absolutely adore him, and his parents adore me, so we got lucky in that area. I don't want either of the parents to pay for anything, this is our wedding, I know it is traditional...but I want to pay for it. His mom is already starting to plan, I am glad she is happy about it and will be glad to have her help planning, but I think it is smarter to wait.

LetAGrlShowU 04-13-2012 03:33 PM

TimWhit, it can be done, but should not be done on such short notice. You should typically sned save the dates out 6-7 months in advance for out of town guests. Wihout getting too into detail, small weddings begin at about $8k-$10k and larger weddings can cost upwards of $30-$40k. Feel free to PM me for more in depth details, i've been researching for a while. Small is 25-45 people. Large would be 150 people +

i've been planning for over a year, but it's been nice for a long engagement. We are getting married in November. Good luck.

TimWhit91 04-13-2012 03:42 PM

Thank you for giving me a price idea, that helps a lot!

Cacowgirl 04-13-2012 04:35 PM

Getting married is one thing-don't confuse it w/a large party! For myself-I've gotten married @ home & did my own invitations,food, music,clothes,flowers, etc. Didn't cost much, but we all had a good time. Save your money for a house (maybe w/acreage?).

AshleyCL 04-13-2012 09:37 PM

First of all, don't let anyone force you into rushing. This is your wedding, not anyone else's. Enjoy the engagement for as long as you like. As for cost, my husband and I got married at the courthouse with our closest friends. It was awesome :) My mom then wanted a formal wedding (which I should have said no to) and it was about 5k. We had it on the beach and it was super casual. For me, it was always about the rest of our lives, not one day. It's over and gone so quick that it didn't really matter. Congrats!!

Shasta1981 04-13-2012 09:45 PM

Congratulations! I am in the midst of planning a wedding myself and it is a lot of work (and money). In my opinion, 4 months to plan would be very stressful! If you really want a traditional dress you can plan on at least 3 months to get it in from the time you order it (some take up to 6), and then you will have to go in for two, perhaps three fittings after that. I ordered my dress at the end of January and am still waiting for it to come in. Same goes for dresses for your bridesmaids if you are having any - 3 months.

You will learn this very, very quickly while you are planning: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY!* (*Caveat: don't be a "bridezilla," that's just annoying.)

You want to wait for a bit and that is the most important opinion, no matter what type of wedding you will have. So that is what I think you should do: wait as long as you want and until you feel financially secure.

mysticalhorse 04-13-2012 11:44 PM

I managed to do my wedding for 100+ people with an eating reception for $1500 but i had 8months to plan, buy & make almost everything..... This is your wedding.... Do it on your time :)
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Lindze 04-13-2012 11:45 PM

Hubby and I were engaged three weeks. Officially, and publicly.

We had been together six months, decided to get married, for a few reasons. We bought our marriage license, which is only good for three months. But in the end i figured that my mother would hate for us to elope (my sister did this and she was very upset!!)

So at the beginning of December I asked her what weekend in January she would be around, and the only weekend was the first one! So we planned our wedding in three short weeks. Not as stressful as one would think, as every decision was FINAL, no time to question or fret lol. We had about 80 people show. It was still about 10k..... wedding dress, food, open bar, tux for hubby and my dad.... decorations, etc...... but it was worth it :) Been married three years this past Jan, daughter was two in December, and we couldnt be happier.... well could but we dont complain to much! lol

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