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elumar 05-06-2012 12:29 PM

Have a baby
Hi. My girlfriend and I are thinking of having a baby but I can't stop thinking 'come one, look at that mess over there, how can you put a baby in a world like that it's selfish man'

so I guess I'm trying to ask you guyz do you think it's ok to have a baby in 2012 ? My girlfriend and I both have a job so the baby should have a security (a roof over his head and food on the table)


nvr2many 05-06-2012 12:37 PM

I don't mean to sound old fashioned, but, whats wrong with getting married first???

tinyliny 05-06-2012 01:33 PM

It's easy to think of having a baby as, "having a baby" but the baby isn't a baby, it's a person in the making. So, you must think really long term. It isn't with you just while it's a baby.

AS for whether or not the world is such a bad place that bringing another life into it is selfish, I dont' think that life would feel that way.

But, please don't have a baby as an antedote to boredom or as a way to cement your relationship. That is selfish.

myhorsesonador 05-06-2012 01:42 PM

As some one that grew up in this time, I'd say hold off on the baby. My life is screwed, for ever. I'm 19 and I've never even had a job. I've tried, but I just can't seem to get hired. Why bring another person into this world?

themacpack 05-06-2012 01:58 PM

I think the fact that it is 2012 should be the last consideration in whether or not to have a child.

cakemom 05-06-2012 02:57 PM

Many considerations to look into. How old are you, is your relationship rock solid, will it continue to be even when nights are long and hard. Have you lived your life and had your fun? Are you finished getting an education that will take you into the future with stability? Do you have insurance to take care of pregnancy and child (NICU bills were over 309k on my full term child who had a hiccup that caused near death).
A child means a change forever, no matter what year you have them. Looking back, I should have completed college first...but with my fibro I knew I had to have them while I could, these are all things to consider. But...the most important thing is don't take lightly the decision to start the life of another person, it's the most important decision you will ever make, bc it's a decision you are making for someone else. Having a child is definitely not about you, it's about them.
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elumar 05-06-2012 03:01 PM

Thank you for these answers. thanks to all of you. What worries me is the stats have proven many kids when turning teenagers are escaping reality by joining teens online community.Many teens prefer to pour their heart out on line won't do it to their parents

cakemom 05-06-2012 03:08 PM

You defiantly have to keep your children close to you. I have a teen and a preteen, and then an 8 year old. I know every move they make, but I do not micromanage them. The key is to listen to your children and teach them coping skills. My kids come to me and know I won't judge them. I am a harsh critic but a fair judge.
If the world stops having children because of a generation phase they are giving in. Fight to be a good parent when you do have children, and you will be doing the world a good thing by adding to it. The key is to RAISE YOUR OWN KIDS!! It's my pet peeve, people allow kids to raise themselves or expect society to do it.
Sorry, kids are my passion, can you tell?
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myhorsesonador 05-06-2012 07:42 PM


Originally Posted by elumar (Post 1488169)
Thank you for these answers. thanks to all of you. What worries me is the stats have proven many kids when turning teenagers are escaping reality by joining teens online community.Many teens prefer to pour their heart out on line won't do it to their parents

I used to be close to my parents, but I'd rather talk to people online now. Every time I try to talk to them, all they do is yell and tell me I'm being annoying.

I know I can be annoying at times, but there is 2 sides to every thing, and when they only want to see things from their side, thats when it gets hard.

For example, I need a car. I don't have one. I would be willing to pay for it, if I had the money. Well I wan't alowed to get a job till I finished school. Well now I can't get a job because the economy is in the toilet. I sold my horse, so I could help my parents out. I couldn't find a place to board, and we didn't have the money to build a fence yet. So I sold her, I was planing on using some of the money to buy a car. Well parents found out that the new house is was going to cost more to close on then they were originaly told. They took my money, if I had known I never would have sold my horse in the first place. So now I don't have a car or a horse. Even if I could find a job, at this point, I couldn't get there, because I don't have a ride on most days. Parents paid off moms car, so now we had that money. Great I should get a car right? Nope dad traided in his car, and bought a truck that I'm not alowed to drive. Payments on that truck are the same as the car they jsut paid off.

My parents can't understand why I cry every night. I didn't ask to live in this world, I didn't ask to born, but here I am.

That was probably more of a rant than any thing, but I feel screwed. I've been alone all day for the past week because dads at work, and mom is out driving my brother around to all his things. I don't have a car, and all my friends live over an hour away. No ones comming to hang out with me.

cakemom 05-06-2012 07:58 PM

That, mhs, is bad parenting.
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