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VT Trail Trotters 05-25-2012 01:21 AM

Why do I...
 
Heres my i guess problem... let start with how it can start. Ill say come across a thread on say THF or other forum and i mean like really bad ones, depressing, something bad happened or something happened to a person my friend knows, stuff like that. And ill find out about it and i dont know why but ill feel really bad about it and really i dont even know these people 99% of the time! And I hate that i get all sad and cant get this stuff off my mind when i find out about it and feel bad for them or what ever when i dont even know them. If its on a forum ill PM them and like other things ill message them or something. The problem is this happens not very often but when it does this stuff stays on my mind for a good amount of time, i mean i still got the dam things going through my head! Its driving me nuts i feel bad for someone i dont know. How can i go and fix this or prevent this in future cases? Its really taking it out of me at this point, i dont know what to do about it. I dont know if this matters but yeah i got some mental issues too. I really need to fix this and move on in life AHH!!!

Faceman 05-25-2012 11:43 AM

I'm not convinced it is something that should be fixed. A person that we don't know that suffers bumps in life is just as deserving of our sympathy and empathy as life bumps suffered by someone we know. I know I sometimes feel guilty about sympathizing with friends or family with their little minor issues when there are strangers that are really suffering with major issues - sometimes life and death. I would like to think that one person is just as imortant and deserving as another - whether I know them or not shouldn't be relevant...

VT Trail Trotters 05-25-2012 04:06 PM

That makes sense Faceman, Id just like to not have this feeling stay for months like it does and i feel so bad!

texasgal 05-25-2012 04:12 PM

Don't ever wish away your empathy for another person.

Sometimes I have to "step away" from certain forums or people because my feelings start to overwhelm me, but I would rather be sympathetic/empathetic than cold and unfeeling.

You are a caring HUMAN, that's why ............

*hugs*

Cacowgirl 05-25-2012 04:17 PM

Nothing wrong w/caring about our fellow man. We certainly don't want to be callus when someone is suffering. But..we have to keep our life going also-or we can't meet our own obligations. It's a balance in life & part of the learning process-another reason the teen years are so tough.

VT Trail Trotters 05-25-2012 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by texasgal (Post 1516804)
Don't ever wish away your empathy for another person.

Sometimes I have to "step away" from certain forums or people because my feelings start to overwhelm me, but I would rather be sympathetic/empathetic than cold and unfeeling.

You are a caring HUMAN, that's why ............

*hugs*

Ive tried before to just leave a thread, but still it gets to me. I always come across the worst things, ill try to avoid them but still i find them. And id rather not be cold and unfeeling, if i was well that be bad. I care a ton about my younger family members, we got a big age gap between us all and im kinda in the middle. So i look out for my nieces and others. Well the person that means the world to me, my girlfriend i always care about her and everything and especially if shes hurt i feel horrible about it!

Faceman 05-25-2012 10:15 PM

What is really sad to me is over the years I have seen a lot of people that use forums and tell lies to elicity attention and sympathy, and have seen quite a few instances (as most of us have) where sob stories are fabricated to indirectly solicit money. I know I got burned by a couple of people (on other forums) 5 or 6 years ago. As a result, I often tend to be a bit cautious about believing everything someone says. It's a shame that a few bad apples spoil the barrel...

dbarabians 05-25-2012 11:22 PM

It is a human need to care for someone or something.
Sadly there are those that see kindness not as a virtue but as a weakness. They will exploit anyone they can.
Be careful.
There is a difference between worrying about someone and obsessing over their problems.
Keep your emotions grounded in reality. Avoid losing yourself in the problems of others. Giving support and advice is one thing becoming overly emotional about something you have no control over is probably unhealthy. Remember you can't save anyone from themselves and you have a life to live and your own problems to deal with. Shalom

Skyseternalangel 05-27-2012 08:31 AM

You just care a lot, I'm the same way.

It's both a blessing and a curse. The best thing to do is offer help, and then just keep sending them good thoughts and eventually you'll be able to stop worrying as much. What people go through is terrible.. and it makes me cry and get upset too and I'll think about them for years and years.. check up on them and stuff.

But I don't let it control my life. I do space myself away sometimes and let them seek me out or I give us all a break to have a quiet moment for myself (emotions are draining..)

I appreciate you PMing me that one time, by the way. It was very kind of you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Faceman (Post 1517360)
What is really sad to me is over the years I have seen a lot of people that use forums and tell lies to elicity attention and sympathy, and have seen quite a few instances (as most of us have) where sob stories are fabricated to indirectly solicit money. I know I got burned by a couple of people (on other forums) 5 or 6 years ago. As a result, I often tend to be a bit cautious about believing everything someone says. It's a shame that a few bad apples spoil the barrel...

Very true.. I've had instances where people try and give me stuff. I don't accept anything.. nor do I offer anything except an ear to listen and some advice when asked.

Nothing material makes things better.. those things you can't see do. If something material does.. then I guess you weren't that down in the first place.

I wish more people would care. The ones that don't are the ones that really scare me. What they think is acceptable in treating a human or animal.. just messed up.


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