Maybe some insight..
I've been working at a large breeding training farm for the last 3 months as a working student, receiving lessons everyday from a grand prix rider. Before I came here I was sort of a backyard horseman I guess you would say, but I had been riding for 9 years. This is my first experience doing dressage, and the only lessons I've had since I was 13. So for the first month and a half it was nothing but steep progression in my training, I was getting better fast. Then it was like I forgot how to ride for about 3 weeks. Now I'm back on track but I don't feel like I'm progressing as much as I was, my legs still want to come forward, my hands move around half the time, and I hollow my back. The main thing I'm worried about though is that I still don't have very much feel for what the horse is going to do, and I can't feel where a problem is coming from most of the time. For instance, I can feel when a horse doesn't want to bend their ribs or is swinging out a hip, but I can't feel if they aren't pushing as hard with one leg as the other. Is this normal for how long I've been doing this? And does it mean I lack the talent to pursue Dressage as a career?
We all have our issues. Can you ride without being in a lesson?
Sometimes you just need to figure it out on your own, in-between instruction. Close your eyes and really focus on what your body is doing. Be aware of every muscle and feel where your horse's feet are.
You're being too hard on yourself; riding is a constant uphill climb. You never stop learning. You can ride for over 30 years and still find new things out or still not know everything. Heck I've been riding almost 10 years and I still barely know how to canter! Or do anything other than a leg yield when it comes to lateral work.
You learn at your own pace. If the instructor isn't working for you, take a break and find a new one. Sometimes the best of the best doesn't click for you, and that's fine.
Hope I helped.
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