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sandy2u1 08-04-2008 12:31 PM

my horse doesnt want to be with me
Hi everyone. Im Sandy. Im a first time horse owner and very excited about it! My horse is an adult gelding, tennesse walker. Hes not a show horse or anything fancy...just a regular horse. He is very sweet and has a great disposition. I get him out and brush him and pet him some and ive ridden him once. When I go to get him from the pasture he walks away from me. I can eventually get him if i just keep walking with him, he doesnt run away or anything. What i really want is to establish a good relationship with him so that he wants to spend time with me and be with me. How do i go about accomplishing this? I read somewhere that you can try treats, but other places say that giving them treats will make them nippy and eventually biters? any advice? about anything at all would be helpful lol

lovemyponies 08-04-2008 12:51 PM

Sandy welcome and how exciting to have your first horse!

I think using a treat to get your horse to come to you is okay as long as its not excessive. Horses don't normally become biters overnight. Especially since you are new to each other I would use a treat. I would bring him a treat and call him to you and wait for him to come to you. I bet after a few times he will start coming to you treat or not. Also he might just need some adjustment time. I am sure some may disagree with me about treats but I have never had a biter and have always brought my horses treats. If they act up or get pushy then no more treats, they learn pretty quickly.

I am sure there will be some others with great advice, Good luck.

JustDressageIt 08-04-2008 01:19 PM

I used to have this same problem with my mare. Sucks, doesn't it?
My trick is that I bring a bucket of grain out. I shake it and call her name when I get to the gate, then leave the bucket at the gate and just bring a handful in with me. I walk up to her, but stop a distance away from her with my hand out so she could see the treat. This way she has to take the few strides over to me, and it's her idea to come over to me. I get the leadrope around her neck and then give her the grain, so she knows she's caught. Once we get back to the gate, she is allowed one mouthful from the bucket, then she has to follow me nicely to the barn, where she's allowed to have the rest out of a tub on the ground.
It's gotten to the point now where I just holler for her at the gate and she comes trotting up... it's wonderful!

farmpony84 08-04-2008 01:21 PM

I agree with the above. Treats are great unless they are overly used. I'm a bad one for treats... I was giving them way to often and one of mine became a biter. I quickly fixed the problem but...

Now, I'm not a pro by any means but I have a tennessee walker and I have to say, I will try very hard to always have one in my barn. They are kind and obedient, they are safe and trustworthy, and they seem so regal and proud. My walker has a strange personality, he doesnt need me, but he's kind and lets me love on him and gives me all of his respect and trust. I'm not sure if it's just his personality or a walker thing, but he's not... Lovey dovey like some of my horses, he's kind and gentle but not lovey dovey... sometimes I think it depends on the horse. I will also say that it took me about 6 months to win him over completely as far as trust go's. Once I got it though, it's forever I think. Good luck with your TWH!!!!

lovemyponies 08-04-2008 01:24 PM

he will come around. but having a horse that is not too needy is nice too. the mare I have right now comes running and looks sad when I leave her and loves being with people.

she is starting to get attached to her pasture mate now so she is not as needy, but she still comes running, course I do usually have a treat for her :lol:

sandy2u1 08-04-2008 01:32 PM

ty all very much for your advice! It is great having a place to get answers from real people! Im gonna start giving him some treats and some time to get to know me :D I guess I am rushing him a bit. I love him so much and he is such a sweetie, I want him to see me as a friend.

Solon 08-04-2008 01:39 PM

Some horses can take quite some time to establish a bond.

How long have you had the horse? It took nine months for my draft to finally establish a bond with me. Now it's an unbreakable one.

sandy2u1 08-04-2008 01:55 PM

I have only had him a little over 2 weeks. lol i didnt realize it took so long for a horse to bond with a person. Im totally in love with him already!

Solon 08-04-2008 01:58 PM

oh wow, that's no time at all!

Yes, it could be a few days, a few weeks or a few months. Don't give up on him. He just needs to be sure he's in a permanent place. 8)

My boy would have NOTHING to do with me. He'd turn away from me, wouldn't pay me one bit of attention, no respect nothing. It was horrible for nine months. Some nights I left the barn in tears because I couldn't figure out what was going on.

Then he got a really bad abscess and I had to go to the barn several times a day to change the dressing on his foot and it all changed then. Now we are two peas in a pod.

So just be patient and try not to get frustrated if it doesn't happen quickly.

lovemyponies 08-04-2008 02:06 PM

Solon has a good point spending lots of time with him especially now means a lot. This horse I have right now (temporary) was bred and raised by one person and had never been off the farm in her life and had a miserable ride from michigan to florida. I visited her every day twice a day to groom, clean her stall, etc. and pretty quickly she was attached. It sounds like your horse is pretty independent so it will take time, but don't worry he will fall for you :)

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