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SouthernTrails 07-07-2012 07:12 AM

Things you may not want to say around non-Horse people

Do you like my breast collar?
His sheath was really dirty, but I cleaned it.
In the winter, his Ass gets really hairy.
Don't jump on him, sit down gently.
She wants to breed to my stud.
There's nothing like 17 hands between you legs!
Can I pet your Ass?
He had a bad attitude, so we castrated him.
I wanted to breed to her stud, but he's all booked this season.
We'll be breeding tonight, want to watch?
He's really good at walking and pooping at the same time.
He didn't try to run away when we drove the nails into his feet.
She bites her baby if it behaves badly.
She's on a new diet, she's only eating grass.
If he's not good, just grab his lip and twist it.
When I'm done riding him, you can have a turn.
Don't worry, if he pulls her teats too hard she'll bite him.
He's much better if you ride him with a crop.
I jumped 4 feet high yesterday.
She's got a really nice, big, square butt.
What color are her gums?
The mother is black and the father is white, and the baby came out black and white.
He tries to kick me when I put my hand in his sheath.
Don't worry, it's normal for his mouth to foam.
All of her babies have been sold overseas.
I know she's going to have a baby soon because her butt is soft.
Her baby started walking about 20 minutes after birth.
Her body was covered in 4-inch long hair, but I clipped it off.
He has trouble mounting her because she's so tall.
She likes to roll in the dirt after her bath.
He has 23 kids by different mothers.
He goes outside in just a blanket.
He was about 6 months old when we branded him with an iron.
I have to use a stool to mount him.
If he's spilling his food on the ground, he might need a dentist.
I was listening to his gut sounds last night...

Anyone have some others? :lol:


pepsipop 07-07-2012 07:26 AM

nothing like 850kg's between your legs under full control of a soft hand
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bsms 07-07-2012 09:59 AM

I can't get her to work without kicking her a few times...

We've got a deal: I get to ride her, and in exchange she gets food!

Iseul 07-07-2012 11:26 AM

I can't say I can think of any at the moment, but it's really funny when your boyfriend refuses to read anymore after, "He tries to kick me when I put my hand in his sheath." lmao

BethWitton 09-13-2012 07:03 AM

Oh my, these made my day!

PintoTess 09-13-2012 07:07 AM

Baha these are hillarious!

Hes so soft in my hands!

WSArabians 09-13-2012 02:22 PM

Bahaha!! That was awesome!

ilovepets 12-13-2012 04:35 PM

:rofl::rofl::rofl: :clap:

oh this made my day!!!! hahahahahaha

fkcb1988 12-13-2012 09:26 PM


Tracer 12-13-2012 09:41 PM

'My butt hurts from riding so much'
'I could hardly walk afterwards'
'Give him a treat and he's all over you'

I guess we horse riders really do seem like a weird bunch to the outsiders...

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