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toonces302 08-27-2012 02:39 PM

Equinophobia...THANKS DAD!!
 
Please help me settle this argument I had with my father. When I was 11 years old, my Dad took his family horseback riding to a stable with a route. It was My Dad, my older brother, me, and my little sister. It was NOT a pleasant experience. Without any training, or instructions, they put me on a horse ironically named, "Gentleman" and from the beginning, I thought the horse was belligerent and uncooperative. He (the horse) was unruly, and kept wanting to turn back around. I tried pulling on the reins, and several times, he tried to bite me on the shins. I tried talking to the horse, and even gave it a light slap on the butt. Eventually, not even a quarter a way around the route, the horse simply ran back around to the beginning, me barely ably to stay on. I was terrified, and the hired hand helped me off the horse. Seconds after thankfully being back on solid ground, I heard my 9-year-old sister, screaming in terror...her horse also ran back around, and she had to be helped off, still crying and clearly frightened.
On the way home from this frightening experience, my father told me and my sister that it was our fault and we should have taken control of the horse. He argued that his horse didn't give him any trouble. "You've got to show the horse who's boss" to a 9 year old girl and an 11 year old boy versus a 600 pound animal.
Recently, the subject came up again, and when my father once again blamed me and my sister for not taking control of the horse, I BLEW UP at him. I called him a coward, and said instead of having the balls to confront the owner of the stables, get in his face, and say, something like, "HEY, WHAT KIND OF ANIMALS YOU PUTTIN' MY KIDS ON?" he simply took the cowards way out and blamed us. To this day, I am have Equinophobia and blame my father for it. Please give your opinion.:evil:

toonces302 08-27-2012 02:46 PM

Apologies
 
...for using the word "balls"..."courage" or "guts" would've been a better word.:oops:

Speed Racer 08-27-2012 02:47 PM

Um, you do know you're posting on a horse board, right? That means we LIKE horses here.

Most of us have had plenty of bad horse experiences but they were by our own volition, since we didn't have anyone but ourselves to blame for our own stupidity.

How old are you now? If you're an adult, I think there's more to this than just the one incident with horses. Sounds like you have a lot of resentment built up toward your father. Have you considered counseling?

toonces302 08-27-2012 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speed Racer (Post 1661582)
Um, you do know you're posting on a horse board, right? That means we LIKE horses here.

Most of us have had plenty of bad horse experiences but they were by our own volition, since we didn't have anyone but ourselves to blame for our own stupidity.

How old are you now? If you're an adult, I think there's more to this than just the one incident with horses. Sounds like you have a lot of resentment built up toward your father. Have you considered counseling?

Speed Racer, tell me about YOUR first experience when riding. Were you given any instructions? Did the horse obey you? And, how were me and my sister stupid, as an 11 year old kid being put on an unruly horse without any experience, training or instructions?

katbalu 08-27-2012 03:02 PM

It sounds like you have others issues with your father. Part of being an adult is learning to forgive and let go. If you don't, you will have to learn to suffer the consequences of being bitter and angry about things for the rest of your life. Let it go. Look at it from his side. He was trying to give you a good experience by taking you to ride horses. It didn't turn out the way he or you thought it would, maybe. So what? Haven't you ever messed up? He's right, if you could gave controlled the horse, it would have worked out better. So what? It didn't work out so great. Forgive him, and get over it.
For his sake, but mostly for yours.

waresbear 08-27-2012 03:03 PM

I am not going to between the lines on this...I will just say before I would put my children on horses that I am not familiar with I would make darn sure they are broke to death. At a trailride establishment I would assume they would be? If not, I would haul my kids off the horses and demand my money back. You kids were very lucky none of you were hurt. As for your dad taking no action & blaming you for not controlling the horse, I agree with Speedracer, there is more issues here than told in this thread.
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Roperchick 08-27-2012 03:10 PM

welcome to the horse world. it happens to everybody.

first time i rode a horse i was 2 so i wouldnt remember. but ive been bucked off, kicked, bit, ran over. it happens. you get hurt, and yes sometimes you get scared....your dealing with a 1900lb+ animal.

heymckate 08-27-2012 03:11 PM

I'm not the one to ask.. my second-ever riding lesson involved a well-trained school horse spooking, resulting in my 10-year-old butt ending up on the ground and getting stepped on. And yet here I am, 19 years and several broken bones later. I wouldn't trade horses for anything.

Any reputable barn would not put young children on unsuitable horses. However, horses ARE animals with minds of their own, and like in my lesson, sometimes the most well-trained horses will get scared or upset. Perhaps there was a dangerous animal on the trail they sensed? You never know. Horses are herd animals, so it's possible yours spooked, and your sister's followed to stay with the herd.

Was it your fault? Probably not. Was it your dad's fault? Nah. I doubt it was even the fault of the people who selected those horses for you. Just one of those freak things.

I encourage you and your balls to give horses a shot again. Conquering your fears can be a very affirming and satisfying. :)

toonces302 08-27-2012 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katbalu (Post 1661603)
It sounds like you have others issues with your father. Part of being an adult is learning to forgive and let go. If you don't, you will have to learn to suffer the consequences of being bitter and angry about things for the rest of your life. Let it go. Look at it from his side. He was trying to give you a good experience by taking you to ride horses. It didn't turn out the way he or you thought it would, maybe. So what? Haven't you ever messed up? He's right, if you could gave controlled the horse, it would have worked out better. So what? It didn't work out so great. Forgive him, and get over it.
For his sake, but mostly for yours.

You're right, Katbalu. I've already forgiven him. But the point is, I had no idea how to control the horse.

wetrain17 08-27-2012 03:12 PM

I'm sure there are many kids out there who would love for their father to take them out for a day and do something fun. More then likely, thats what your dad wanted to do for you and your siblings, spend a day together. He didnt know how it would end up.

If you got into a really bad car accident on the way there, would you hold that against him and never drive? You need to give your dad more credit. To me, this is just another example of a product of the "me generation"


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