this was hilarious! im sorry if it offended anyone. i just thought it was really funny about the kittens.
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.
"Hi there little girl, I'm Mitt Romney.
What do you have in the basket?" he asked.
"Kittens," little Suzy said.
"How old are they?" asked Romney.
Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."
"And what kind of kittens are they?"
"Republicans," answered Suzy with a smile.
Romney was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.
Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the Romney should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of "FREE KITTENS," when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and CNN.
Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Romney got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.
"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."
"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Democrats."
Taken by surprise, the Romney stammered, "But...but...yesterday, you told me they were REPUBLICANS."
Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know.
But today, they have their eyes open."
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed.
"Wow... what a worthy goal." I told her, "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
Drat, how did I miss you posting that, wet? :oops:
Well, here's another one that gets the point across just as well. :wink:
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, but her father was a rather staunch Republican.
One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs, and his opposition to taxes and welfare programs. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school.
She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA, but it was really tough. She had to study all the time, and never had time to go out and party. She didn’t have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying.
He asked, “How is your friend Mary?” She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus and went to parties all the time. She also often didn’t show up for classes because she was hung over.
Dad then asked his daughter why she didn’t go to the Dean’s office and request that they take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend, who only had a 2.0? That way, they would both have a 3.0 GPA.
The daughter angrily fired back, “That wouldn’t be fair! I worked really hard for mine, and Mary has done nothing!”
The father slowly smiled and said, “Welcome to the Republican Party”.
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