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TaMMa89 09-08-2008 07:01 PM

Read this :').
Once a upon time there was a beautiful lady who lived a beautiful house which was a part of a beautiful village which was located in a beautiful valley which was one of a beautiful country's most beautiful valleys. The lady gave birth a boy who was her and her husband first and the only kid. The boy's parents were very proud of his and named his Bob.

Time ran. Bob had developed a lot -he could walk and make some noises but he couldn't still talk yet. On the eve of Bob's 1st birthday his mum and dad thought what kind of birthday present they would give to their son, despite the fact that he couldn't remember his first birthday in afterlife. They thought and thought when Bob surprisingly said his first words: " ping pong ball!". Mum and dad assumed that it was a funny coincident and maybe a sign so they bought five ping pong balls and give them to him for his birthday.

Bob turned 2. He wished ping pong balls.

When Bob's 3rd birthday came closer mum and dad supposed that Bob had grown a lot. Actually so lot that he would wish something else that ping pong balls. No. Ping pong balls.

Bob turned 4: Ping ping pong balls...

5: Ping pong balls...

6: Ping pong balls...

So, soon was the time to celebrate Bob's 7th birtday. Bob would start to his school in this year and proud dad asked what kind of birthday present he had thought. Bob wanted ping pong balls.

Bob turned 8. There was no doubt regarding the present. His parents bought some ping pong balls.

Time of the 9th birthday : Ping pong balls.

When Bob turned 10, he wanted still ping pong balls. Mum and dad started to suspect that he had a fixation.

When Bob woke up in the morning of his 11th birthday he automatically got ping pong balls. His parents thought that he was a little... childish.

Bob turned 12: Ping pong balls...

13: Pong ping balls, ping pong balls...

14: Ping pong balls again. Bob's parents started to doubt if he need some psychological treatment.

15: Bob's parents gave him some ping pong balls and a new moped as a spin-off. His friends gave him... well... ping pong balls.

16: Bob wanted still ping pong balls. Mum and dad took his into psychologist. She didn't find anything deviant. No ADHD or any other problems.

17: Surprise! Ping pong balls...

18: Bob became major and got some ping pong balls.

19: Bob got a girlfriend and ping pong balls.

20: Ping pong balls again...

21: Ping pong balls again...

22: P.i.n.g p.o.n.g b.a.l.l.s

23: Ping pong balls (note: read all, don't skip anything. If you do it you'll lose an idea of this joke).

24: Bob got married. He didn't want ping pong balls for a wedding present but at his birthday party them was a real hit.

Bob turned 25 and his wife Jane became pregnant. Bob wanted some ping pong balls.

26: Bob wanted ping pong balls.

27: Bob's first-born son was almost 1½ years old. He didn't want ping pong balls but dad wanted them behalf of him.

28: Yeah, ping pong balls.

When Bob turned 29 he had had two kids.There's no changes as regards his birthday presents.

30: Ping pong balls, ping pong balls...

Why just ping pong balls?

Had the Devil interfered in his life with those ping pong balls? Stop and think a second. Why Bob wanted so much those yellowish, bouncing, noisy balls? Maybe he was a robot which used ping pong balls as fuel? Or maybe he gave them to his friend who lived
on Mars? Did he might want to do a new record?

Bob turned 31 and got ping pong balls.

32: Ping pong balls...

33: Tittidii, ping pong balls...

I let you guess what Bob's friends gave him when he turned 34... Yea, right! If you said "ping pong balls" you're right...

35: Bob was almost middle aged and his family had grown enormously. His children asked him about his ping pong balls but Bob said that he wouldn't tell until he was ready.

36: Ping pong balls...

37: More ping pong balls...

38: GOLFBALLS!!! No, just a joke. Ping pong balls again... Them bounce and anything...

39. Ping pong balls...

There was time to celebrate Bob's 40th birthday party but Bob's dad couldn't attend it. He was in a hospital because he had problems with his heart. Bob got ping pong balls.

Bob turned 41 and got ping pong balls...

42: Bob got ping pong balls and his dad a heart attack.

43: Bob got ping pong balls and dad a gravestone. Bob was very upset for his dad but those ping pong balls cheered him up.

44: Ping pong balls, there's no choice.

45: Bob wanted only ping pong balls.

46: Some of Bob's kids had grown up. Bob got bouncing ping pong balls.

47: Ping-a-pong balls.

48 years and ping pong balls.

Bob turned 49 and became a grandpa. The most oldiest son had had a baby. Bob had had ping pong balls.

50 years and Bob got ping pong balls. Because of his half-century life he got them more than normal.

51: Ping pong balls...

Bob turned 52 and didn't feel so good because his mum told that she had a grievous illness. She had suffered from it for a long time...

53: Ping pong balls. Because Bob know that his mum would die he was a little depressed.

Mum died but Bob got ping pong balls for his 54th birthday. Them alleviated his grief a lot.

55 year old Bob was middle aged and happy with his ping pong balls.

56: Ping pong balls...

57: Bob wanted some ping pong balls.

59: Ping pong balls, ping pong balls, PING PONG BALLS!!

Bob turned 60. He organized a big party and got many boxes ping pong balls...

Why just P-I-N-G P-O-N-G B-A-L-L-S?

Maybe someone smuggled drugs in those balls? Why Bob wanted ping pong balls? Just mull it. Maybe he bogarted messages in the balls? If he was an agent of FBI or something? Or then he rubbed elbows with Boogie Wookie with those balls? Maybe he planned to do something arcade with his balls.

61: Ping pong balls...

62: Ping pong balls...

Bob turned 63 and got ping pong balls.

64: Ping.p.ball.

I let you guess again what he got when he turned 65. If you don't know, I have to say that you aren't very smart.

66: Bob's ping pong ball collection got new members.

67: Bob was still very perky old man. Despite it he left his job and retired after many workful years. He didn't need ping pong balls when he organized a farewell party.

68 and more ping pong balls.

When Bob turned 69 he hadn't any sexual life anymore but dreams regarding ping pong balls were alive and did well.

70: Retired Bob did well and lived with his wife Jane on a countryside.

71: Jane gave some ping pong balls to Bob.

72: Ping pong balls. Do you feel frustrated!?

73: Bob did still well and got some ping pong balls.

When Bob turned 74 he became a king of ping pong balls. Beside that he became a great-gradpa.

75: Ping pong balls...

76 and Jane told that she had a cancer. Luckily there were ping pong balls so Bob didn't feel very upset.

77: Ping pong balls...

78: P i n g p o n g b a l l s . . .

79: More ping pong balls...

Then was the time of Bob's 80th birthday party. Give ping pong balls to this man, please!

81: Ping pong balls.

82: ping pong balls.

Just before Bob turned 83 Jane died of the cancer. Bob didn't mourn a lot because of ping pong balls.

84 and Bob's progenies started to think that he was gaga. Despite that he was given more ping pong balls.

85: You know.

86: Well...

87: Don't force me say it again...

88: Ping pong balls, ping pong balls, ping pong balls...

89: Relatives started to wonder how Bob was so good condition. And gave him more ping pong balls.

Bob turned 90 and got ping pong balls. What a surprise!

Why just freakin' ping pong balls?

Oh heck, why he wanted ping pong balls? Just think it. Maybe he was constructing a new weapon and tried to conquer the world? Or maybe he had decided to organize world's biggest ping pong ball world championship? Who knows.

91: Ping pong balls...

92: Ping pong balls...

93: Ping p.. oh, never mind. There's nothing surprising in his birthday presents.

94 and ping pong balls again.

Bob turned 95 and got some ping pong balls. He also became great-great-grandpa.

96: Bob was a little more tired and older than earlier but he still got ping pong balls.

97: Ping pong balls.

It was the time of Bob's 98 birthday party. All of his relatives gave him ping pong balls.

99 and still ping pong balls.

Then something happened. Bob's 100th birthday party was coming closer when his heart started to act irregularly. Bob was taken to a hospital. After six days he was lying on his death-bed taking his last breaths. All his progenies (and he had a LOT of progenies) were surrounding this very loved dad, grandpa, great-grandpa or great-great-grandpa.
"Dad?" asked Bob's son. "Yea..?" "Erm.. All of us know that you'll die soon. Could you tell why did you collect those heckin' ping pong balls? Are you ready now?"
Bob closed his eyes, chuckled and did a smile.
"Well, did it because..."
Suddenly he ceased. Bob was passed away and nobody never learnt why he had collected those ping pong balls.


Oh, feel you frustrated now when you read all of this boring text? Yep, it was my aim! Well, send this to your friends and I'm sure you'll get a good laugh ;).

Ps. I haven't created this text but I translated it (btw, sorry about mistakes. My concentration wasn't best at all when I arrived at the end). You can believe that the only word inside my head at the moment is a ping pong ball :D.

Sissimut-icehestar 09-08-2008 07:15 PM

oh my freaking guš :lol: I was expecting one hack of a punchline for that long of a joke :lol:

TaMMa89 10-03-2008 04:18 PM

Oh, I have more translated stuff:

So you want to buy a horse

Take a rope and tie it up to a wheelbarrow. Wait when a night and dark come. After it start to draw bloating wheelbarrow around your farmyard. Do this at least for two hours and it it's possible choose a night when there are a storm/downpour/freezing cold out of doors.

Work a full day. After workday drive e.g. your summer cottage and start to shovel mud and sand onto an armchair. Do this at least for half an hour. Take body brushes and clean the armchair rigorously. Straddle on the back rest of the unsteady armchair and push it with your legs. Highlight the situation with swashing and smacking. Do this at least for 45 min. If the armchair capsize during this run at least for 5 minutes around your cottage. When running, chatter to the armchair very reassuringly. Now you can mount up the armchair again. After this clean and swathe the armchair again and finally take it out.

Beat your brains so you would find out what kind of food you can serve your armchair.

Put a cat out. Cajole and chase the cat here and there in your field. Take a bucket of oat with you. Continue chasing until the cat surrender. You get extra points if the cat runs in a near forest.

Burn different banknotes in a fireplace. Do this regularly (all better if you can do it daily). Watch how them burn and turn to ash and smoke. Burn 400 to 1000 euros per month. In the night when you draw the wheelbarrow loft tenners whole the time. Now you've covered outlays of your horse.

Do you still want a horse? :wink:

A letter from a summercamp

Dear mom and dad! Our scout leader told that we have to write to our parents on the change that you've heard about a flood and become worried. Don't worry! We're ok! Only one tent and two sleeping bags rinsed away. Luckily no one of us drowned because we were on mountains combing Sam when this happened.

Oh dear mom could you phone to Sam's mom, please? Tell her that Sam is ok. He can't write because of that gypsum. I rode by a Jeep of the rescue team. It was fun! We'd have never found Sam in that dark forest without that lightning. Scout leader Willie was very angry about it that Sam left us and started to ramble in the forest alone. Sam told that he told it but there was a that big burning here at the time and maybe Willie didn't heard him. By the way, did you know that if you throw a can of gasolin to fire it'll explode? Wet boughs didn't burn but one of the tents burnt. And also some of our garments. Jerry looks fun until his hair grow back.

We'll come home on monday if scout leader Willie manages to fix the car. That crash wasn't Willies fault, not at all! Brake worked well when we set off. Scout leader Willie said that there's always something wrong when the car is so old. Maybe that's why he didn't get a traffic insurance for the car. We think that the car is really cool! But it's also pretty hot when there are ten people inside it. We were allowed to sit in a rear cart alternately but then police stopped us and forbad it. Scout leader Willie is really great person. Don't worry, he is talented driver. Actually he teachs Ted to drive switchbacks. There aren't traffic almost at all, only some logging trucks.

This morning I and some other scouters were swimming in a lake. We jumped from rocks to water a head at first. It was kooky because Willie had to keep an eye on us when we hadn't swimsuits (them burnt along with tents). Scout leader Willie didn't allow me go to the lake because I can't swim. Sam was apprehensive that he can't float with his gypsum. So we were allowed to go and canoe. It was great, if we craned to the lake we could see branchs and trees which were rinsed to the lake with the flood. Scout leader Willie isn't a twit like other scout leaders I've met. He didn't even get mad when we told that we forgot our life jackets.

Willie spend a lot of time fixing the car so we try to perturb him so rarely as possible.

Hey, guess what? We all got a distinction regarding our first-aid skills. When Tina dived to the lake she got a wound to her arm and we all let to watch how tourniquet works. Dennis and I vomitted but Willie said that it might stemmed from a food poisoning because that chicken had lain a top on the table for a long time. He said that they had been got sick just like we after eating prison food with his friends. I thank God that they free him and let him come to lead us. And mom, could you tell me what pedophile means?

Hey, have to go now. We're going to the town and mail these letters. We also buy some bullets.

Regards, Janita.

Ps. When I got my latest tetanus vaccination?

my2geldings 10-04-2008 10:12 AM

:roll: Glad I did skim and skip most of it. Good thing I did.

TaMMa89 10-04-2008 12:52 PM

Yep I know that this story can vex some readers. I noticed that there was a lot of differrent reactions when I read the original text and topic on another forum.

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