Horse horror stories, tell in a quiet neigh, never repeat...
This is a thread to share the "mind of a horse" horror stories. Classics such as "The Plastic Bag of Death" or "The Dump Truck Dragon!". Everyone knows a funny horse spooking story, and here is the chance to tell it through your horses eyes, not your own. I'll start with Romeo's scariest camp fire story... "The Bottomless Stream" -by Romeo (Ducati)
We were on a quiet trail ride with my friend Bugsy and his mother and master Katie, my master and mother Addie had a loose hand because i was being good. What she didnt know is i was just tired from jumping so much. Anyways, we walked up to the lake! I love the lake, its so peaceful and pretty and there is so much grass to eat. Oh i could not be happier. She let me gallop the long side of the lake and it was so so much fun! I passed Bugsy so fast! Hes not a quick Thoroughbred like myself, hes a Dutch Warmblood, so hes slower, haha. But then we slowed down and i saw something i could not believe! It was the scariest... Meanest looking... Widest and deepest void ive ever seen, and FILLED with water!!! OH MY GOSH I WANTED TO RUN!!!! But Addie kept telling me it was okay, but i didnt believe her. I stood there paralyzed by this huge gap, this was no ordinary stream! But then Bugsy comes walking up and just hops over it! OH MY GOSH HES GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE WITH THIS THING!!!! So i did what any good friend would do, i had to warn him about what he had just done, and what may await him on the other side!!! MAYBE ANOTHER ONE!!! No, i must save him! So i LEPT! All 4 hooves off the ground and i jumped over that thing and trotted up to Bugsy to tell him! But our moms were just giggling and laughing at me! DO THEY KNOW WHAT I JUST SAVED THEM FROM!? No! No respect for that bravery! Then... there was nothing else, for the rest of the ride it was perfectly fine. That, was the scariest day of my life...
(the "stream" is a trickle of water about a hands width wide and runs the length of the road next to the lake you have to cross to get back on the trails... oh Romeo.)
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"The Crags of Doom" by Mr. Bo Jangles
Master K was leading me with one of the small masters on my back. We were outside, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air, when suddenly, as we were about to go back into the confining place, a large and ominous mass stood in my way. It began growing larger, and come closer. Master K still wanted me to go toward it. Finally, I realized she was actually trying to lead me to my death! I tried to stand my ground and explain that the horrific stone giant wanted to eat us, but she wouldn't listen. I decided I had to save myself. When it was about to swallow us, I reared back, trying to pull the rope that Master K held out of her hands, twisting this way and that, even bucking.
Finally, she realized the imminent danger we were in, and, once the small human had safely been removed from my back, followed me away from the hideous crags.
(This was really a rock outside our indoor arena. He managed to drag 'Master K' away from the scary rock, and eventually, after several curious sniffs, realized it was nothing)
"Round, Wire, Horse-eating Monsters from Hell" by Gunner
It was a quiet day in the woods. I was casually munching hay in my pen and listening the the pings of my slaves (owners) driving metal posts into the ground for some reason.
Suddenly I looked up and saw to my horror that my slaves were rolling (or were they being dragged?) ROUND WIRE HORSE-EATING MONSTERS FROM HELL across the yard past my pen.
Now, I'm only 3, but I know what ROUND WIRE HORSE EATING MONSTERS FROM HELL look like ... I repeatedly slammed myself against the door of my pipe pen trying to escape .. but to no avail... there was no escape!
My slaves then came up and tried talk to me (one of them was laughing) but they left the ROUND WIRE HORSE EATING MONSTERS FROM HELL laying in the yard, staring hungrily at me!
Round and round I darted in my pen with no where to escape, no where to hide, I've never been so terrified!!
Standing at attention, with every muscle twitching, sweat pouring from my body, I watched in horror as my slaves left me!! Were the monsters going to eat them? Were the monsters going to eat ME??
Suddenly they stood the monsters up and unrolled them .. attaching them to the posts they were pinging into the ground ..
"Hey!! Why didn't anyone tell me I was getting a new paddock??"
"What's that thing you have in your hand?"
"Is it edible?"
"What was I so terrified about??
"Can't remember ......................"
(Fence wire -- rolled up -- the most terrifying thing on the planet .. *rolls eyes*)
LOL Romeo is PETRIFIED of rolled up carpet or rolled up fencing!!!! XD XD i have NO IDEA why!!!!! but he will NOT move on the trails if he sees some! XD i can relate XD
I was laughing so hard .. we left them laying in the yard to come up and make sure he wasn't going to tear the pen down. When I looked back at the two rolls, they were both laying where you could see right through them .. like eyes looking at him ... hysterical!
Then as quick as he's out of control, he's curious about if our hammer or fencing pliers are edible .. horses!
One from Luca...
I had just finished a session of lunging and I was all sweaty and hot. But luckily my owner (Lavinia) was, too, so she led me over in front of her house to rinse me off and wash her hands. I enjoyed my wash but Lavinia started to talk to her dad...I just stood there, utterly bored, so I began to nose around, the lead rope being quite long. I went over to the little house next to the main house and looked around. There was a small seethrough square in the building, and I inspected it. Another horse stared back at me! I flared my nostrils at the intruder, and the other horse did the same to me! He was big and dark and I didn't want to mess with him! Where had he come from? Was he the Black Stallion, ready to take me away? I gave one bellowing neigh to him:"I'M GOING, DON'T WORRY!!!" and sped off, forgetting all about Lavinia, who was flying after me on the other end of the lead rope. I ran back to the exercise paddock and stood there, eyes rolling. I looked at my owner. Lavinia was LAUGHING!! Had she been SO oblivious to the fact that a wild black stallion was intruding our home? I had to protect her! But this horse was too scary for me to go back there.
I think in the end, they made him leave, or maybe he left by himself, because the next time I was forced to have a wash, he didn't seem to be there anymore. I stood there, wet but eager to do something, so I checked the see through square again. In that moment, Lavinia took my lead rope to bring me back to the exercise paddock. I immediately followed her....because in that window...I realized....that the BLACK STALLION had returned. And this time, there was another person with him. One that looked like Lavinia! And that person led the stallion away....so maybe...maybe he'll be gone when I come back for another wash.
Lol, the time when Luca saw his reflection in the window and neighed to it!! :lol:
"The Bringers Of Doom", an excerpt from the knight Sir Tyler's memoirs, The Neighs of Our Lives.
It was a dark and spooky night. The winds were howling, and the crows cawed.
. . . Well, it was a summer noon day, the sun was shining and the swallows were chirping. Same diff.
In any case I was doing my best impression of a rodeo horse for dear my Lady, pinning my ears back, bucking, and offering some fun rears. Fun for me, of course. My Lady calls me her "Special Knight".
I was allowing us to canter across the arena (allowing) when suddenly I hear a strange, shrieking noise by the door. I sped up to do my duty as a knight and check out the danger, brave handsomeness just rolling off me.
Suddenly, a massive white blur exploded into the arena, followed by another! And then an absolutely humungous, snarling black figure with huge tusks barreled in, rushing straight towards me and my Lady!
I leaped sideways, protecting my Lady from the monsters and letting out a battle cry. My goal was to place her safely away from the creatures, but the stubborn girl held on!
Fortunately my bravery so moved those creatures, they left! I, Sir Tyler, am indeed the Special Knight who defeated The Bringers Of Doom. All caps. Yes.
(They were two ducks and a year old pet potbelly pig. My trainer shooed them out :P)
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"The Neighs of Our Lives" .... *snort*
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