To sell my horse or not need advice
I just need to vent because I have no idea what to do I love my horse so so much but heís so spooky. I thought he was doing better but the 2 weeks ago I fell off after he spooked at a little finch bird and he didnít just spooked he spooked then turned and run I fell off one way when he went the other I hurt myself pretty good too. Ended up in the ER. Now im scared of him I understand that u can fall off any horse but I donít know how much more I can take. Iím a green rider vie really only been riding for 4 years. And thatís when I got him. Iíve had him since he was 2 and I had a lady do time on him for me she can ride him like nothing when he spooks. I rode a little when I was in my teen and thought I could handle it. But now Iím not so sure I mean I longed him today and he spooked at my car witch heís seen 3 million times he spooked at a cat that meowed. I donít want to get hurt. I thought maybe something was wrong with his eyes but there fine I had them checked. In the middle of last summer I said he had to the end of winter to buck up or I was going to sell him. He was starting to good the end of the summer I was getting very happy. I could take him to the other end of the arena where he spooked all the time. As long as I had another horse with him I could ride down there. But I was still very embarrasses that here I am an adult and I canít ride my horse were id like cuz heís so spooky. Iíve even cried over it. On top of all this heís super lazy heís gotten so much better on the laziness but after falling off Iím just scared. I did take him to a horse show last summer he did pretty good we didnít win anything. But I wasnít expecting too. I rode and he didnít spook at anything. He screamed the whole time he was there but other than that he was good. I just donít know what to do should I keep him even tho he spooks at stupid stuff or should I sell him and get something thatís less spooky. The thing is if I never fell off I donít think Iíd be even thinking about it at this moment. Becuz I love that horse I want him I just wish he was different and I know heís never going to change heís 6 years old beautiful horse. And I love him so much selling him would be the hardest thing I would have to do. So as u can see I need some advice. What would you do Iím so confused
I think you should look for a trainer and get some serious groundwork in. Spooking can be from a number of things - from having too much energy, to bad eyes, to a lack of confidence to a lack of respect. You need a better working relationship with this horse. People overlook groundwork too often and it can really change things up.
I suggest looking at Clinton Anderson videos. The fundamentals would be good, and so would the confidence under saddle set.
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I would sell him. now you have a clearer idea of what is important to you in a horse; steadiness. Dont' be swayed from that when it comes to gettng a new horse. Don't buy the "pretty " one or the good deal. Get the steady one.
Riding should be fun. If you are always wondering if you are going to come off, then what fun is that?
I agree with Dancing Arabian that you should get some outside help with him.
You say he is 6 years old and not going to change but in my mind that is still a young horse with a lot to learn and there's no reason why with lots of training and groundwork that he shouldnt settle down and become the trustworthy mount that you want him to be.
There are things you can do yourself to help him too - setting up 'confidence courses' on the ground with strange objects lying around will help him get used to new things. Dont ride him, just lead him around these things getting slowly closer until he takes no notice of them. I have done this with much success, I tied plastic bags to the fences, put ropes on the ground for him to step over. Pretty much anything lying around can be used - just ignore him if he plays up and keep leading him past them. Anything that flaps or makes noise, I even tied an open umbrella to a tree - you can get pretty creative!
He may be feeding off your nerves too, if you are tense and waiting for him to spook then he probably will. Definitely get some outside help before writing him off though, it sounds like he is very special to you and you could really regret it down the line if you sell.
Dont push yourself to do anything you arent comfortable with though, your safety is the main thing. Take it slow and start from the ground with him.
Hi, I'm sorry that you feel this way and that you are going through this. I know how terrible these situations can be. Most importantly, you need to take your safety into highest priority. You need to make sure that you are safe more than anything else. If you feel threatened, then you need to take that into account. However, that doesn't mean necessarily selling your horse. You could always have professional training and have someone who really has dealt with this work with you, or your horse. There are different ways to do this, whether having a trainer come to you or enrolling your horse in a "training camp" kind of deal. I have a trainer that works with me, but I've never sent my horse to another trainer. Don't give up on your horse unless you feel truly threatened. I have a young horse and people usually don't recommend having a green rider and green horse but I did it and had the most rewarding and wonderful experience so I can't say I'm completely against that. Although I did never feel threatened in any way. You need to reflect on that and take some time to think about how you feel. I hope it works out though.
I'm sorry you are at the point of making this decision.
I also just got back into riding after being away from it for 30+yrs. So I was green, I bought a 3yr. roan QH mare with 30 days of riding on her. Yup green and green! She's now coming up 11 this year and I am so glad I never gave up on her. I spent alot of time desensitizing her, gaining her trust and me gaining her trust. Six is still young, when my mare was 6yr. she still spooked at things but would only spin but never bolted off or anything but those spins are fast! Luckily I never fell off of her.
What helped me was that I came across Clinton Anderson through a horse magazine, I googled him and checked out on Youtube and liked what I saw. We ordered his DVDs and it made the biggest difference! When I first got my mare she would spook at everything! Now if she spooks she gives a flinch and the very odd time will spin......but it took alot of time on my part spending with her and working her through her fears.
Sounds like your horse isn't very confident, my other horse a soon to be 10 appy gelding was exactly like that but he's finally getting to be more confident.
Good luck with your decision and keep us posted on how things are going....
A horse I really care about, I'd try to work through it before I sold them. I don't deem this as being a life or death issue where the horse is trying to kill you, and I think if you were more assertive in your riding, you could work through it, with a trainer. Once you sell a horse, they are gone.
Honestly any horse could and might do that, you need to be able to ride them through it. It was maybe 6-7 years ago when I last came off, I did something dumb, totally my fault. I knew what I did wrong, but I still didn't want to get back on again. I had to talk myself into it, as my head wanted to, but my body didn't.
Here's a quote I like:
"Advice is something you ask for when you know the answer but wish you didn't"
I don't know what it means for you but you know, as well as everyone else on here, it's your decision to make. I can try and advise you.
A few months ago I was having problems with my mare. She was getting aggressive on the ground, difficult to handle, much less think about riding and I was getting pretty fed up with it all. I felt useless and as much as I liked my horse I knew something had to change.
So I worked with her, I started being really firm and not letting her take an inch and now things are really good. I would have done that from the beginning, but two years ago I came off a horse and I've never been as good or confident around them since.
So it comes down to a few things. First, do you have confidence to fix this? If so, do you have the knowledge to fix this, or can you somehow gain it (like through instruction)? And do you want to change things? He's a young horse, it could take months or years to get him to a level where he's as quiet as you want. It will probably require regular, likely daily, work.
While all horses can be like this if you let them, you've had this horse since he was two so he probably hasn't really had much of a varied life experience. Not much dedicated training. You could get an older been there done that horse.
My honest opinion is that a lot the problem is you're nervous with him, even before the fall, and as you're not showing your leadership he's uncomfortable and jumpy. I could of course be totally off the mark as I've never met either of you, but to me if a horse spooks at something that doesn't usually bother them it means something a bit bigger is going on than just that.
Young horses are hard work. Only you can decide what you want to do.
I have to agree that this horse needs a confident leader, and if you cannot be that, you need to figure out whether you can do that with the help of a professional or sell the horse on and get one that will help you to rebuild your confidence. Your decision. IMO, you cannot do this alone with videos. Confidence is difficult to rebuild, and I had to try a couple of horses, PLUS put one into professional training for me to see first hand that my horse is safe......but that took literally nearly $10K. I currently have probably the most expensive grade horse around, but he in priceless to me. I know exactly how he will react to stuff, in nearly every situation. No horse is 100%, but he is pretty close. It has also taken 2 years, and lots of time and patience. Hours spent watching trainers work him as well as working with the trainers. I am fortunate to not work, so that became my fulltime "job".
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