10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse
1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot, don't pick it up right away, & shout "Get off! Get off!"
2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet.
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing. They might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt, smile as if you are really having fun.
6. Practice your fibbing skills. "See, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place!"
7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience ."
10. Marry Money!
This is hilarious! Ha ha. The "fibbing skills" really cracked me up :lol:
LOL I totally know how to write $200 without blinking... sheesh :P What has become of me?!
This was fun to read
You should add "Fill wallet with money and empty it. Repeat."
Lol! I was just telling a student (and new horse owner) last weekend to practice writing checks. Yesterday, I got a bill from the vet. How much? You guessed it, $200. (well 198 and some change but close enough lol)
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11. Have someone shove you over and over even after you say NO! While you continue to try and put a hat on their head (bridle).
12. Spray a freezing cold water hose against a wall while it bounces right off and back on to you while you're washing it and think,"and after this.. itll get dirty again..."
13. Throw a coin out in a field then go find it after you discovered its not with you (losing a shoe).
14. Put hay inside your shirt and all over yourself and sand in your shoes.
15. Practice tripping randomly (riders, everyone knows, are not graceful creatures on the ground).
These are too true! :lol:
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16. Take a 50lb weight and drop it on your foot while shouting "OFF ME!"
soooo funny !!! and true!:lol::lol::-)
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