The Horse Forum

The Horse Forum (
-   Jokes and Funnies (/jokes-funnies/)
-   -   10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse (

faiza425 01-06-2013 01:13 PM

10 Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse
1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot, don't pick it up right away, & shout "Get off! Get off!"
2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet.
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing. They might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt, smile as if you are really having fun.
6. Practice your fibbing skills. "See, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place!"
7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience ."
10. Marry Money!

Haha! :lol:

HorseCrazyTeen 01-07-2013 09:11 PM

This is hilarious! Ha ha. The "fibbing skills" really cracked me up :lol:

Showjumper1289 01-07-2013 09:39 PM


Skyseternalangel 01-07-2013 09:51 PM

730 Attachment(s)
LOL I totally know how to write $200 without blinking... sheesh :P What has become of me?!

This was fun to read

DimSum 01-09-2013 08:11 AM

You should add "Fill wallet with money and empty it. Repeat."

MHFoundation Quarters 01-09-2013 08:14 AM

Lol! I was just telling a student (and new horse owner) last weekend to practice writing checks. Yesterday, I got a bill from the vet. How much? You guessed it, $200. (well 198 and some change but close enough lol)
Posted via Mobile Device

ThoroughbredJumper 01-17-2013 09:47 AM

11. Have someone shove you over and over even after you say NO! While you continue to try and put a hat on their head (bridle).
12. Spray a freezing cold water hose against a wall while it bounces right off and back on to you while you're washing it and think,"and after this.. itll get dirty again..."
13. Throw a coin out in a field then go find it after you discovered its not with you (losing a shoe).
14. Put hay inside your shirt and all over yourself and sand in your shoes.
15. Practice tripping randomly (riders, everyone knows, are not graceful creatures on the ground).


GamingGrrl 01-17-2013 09:50 AM

These are too true! :lol:
Posted via Mobile Device

DimSum 01-17-2013 09:50 AM

16. Take a 50lb weight and drop it on your foot while shouting "OFF ME!"

iloveroans 01-20-2013 03:57 PM

soooo funny !!! and true!:lol::lol::-)

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:52 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome