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brittabam 01-25-2013 02:07 PM

Thinking about throwing in the towel
I have owned my horse now for a little over 2 years.

My old trainer got her off the track, let her settle down, and did the ground work with her. She asked me to start her. While she is was very willing and loved being ridden -- she need a lot more time, bravery, and patience then my trainer had. The trainer offered to sell her to me for next to nothing. I took her up on it. Throughout the time there I did 1/2 training with her. So it's not like I have been tackling this on my own.

Since then I have moved states and began looking for a new trainer. I took a few lessons with a few trainers, and found that making the switch from Hunter/Jumper to Eventing would be the best for this horse. I am happy with my trainer but I am still not where I want to be.

My current trainer thinks she has a ton of talent. And while we have made progress, but we still cannot canter fences or jump a whole course, because she is so hard to ride/handle. I still think jumping is her calling beacuse loves to jump and is willing/has never refused anything no matter how crazy it looks.

I thought about putting her for 1/2 lease, but she really isn't far enough along to. I am considering talking to my trainer this weekend about putting her for sale. I would even considering giving her away if my trainer wanted her.

The bottom line is for people who don't want to read everything:

I am wondering if it is even worth it anymore to make all the time and financial sacrifices I have make in order to keep a horse. If it's not making me happy anymore.

No rude comments please...

themacpack 01-25-2013 02:10 PM

You say she is hard to ride/handle - is that only when jumping or also during flat work?

jillybean19 01-25-2013 02:26 PM

If you don't enjoy it, then that's that. If there's a tough day, a tough month, or even a tough year, that's one thing. But you're still able to find moments of joy and have motivation to work through those times. If you just don't enjoy it anymore, I think horses are quite an expensive chore. I'd say sell the horse - you can always change your mind layer and buy a new one, especially if you're not feeling particularly attached to this one.

brittabam 01-25-2013 02:31 PM

She has gotten a lot better with the flat work. We are working on keeping her round and slow. Which is helping a lot with the jumping. She is improving every day.

I think I got off track in my original post, what it really amounts to is, I'm having a hard time justifying the amount of money I spend on riding. When it's getting to be a chore instead of fun. I am starting to feel like my money would be spend better other ways -- that doesn't involve horses. Has anyone ever felt like that?

WSArabians 01-25-2013 03:19 PM

Horses are a passion. You really gotta be dedicated and willing to give it or all. If you don't enjoy it, it's no fun. I wouldn't go sky diving because that just don't make any sense, nor would it seem fun to me.

In the two years I bought a mare from South Dakota, she lost her foal at 11 months. Had plan to re-breed her this spring for a replacement for her. She passed away last night. My stallion had to go in for surgery, hoping he a makes a full recovery and is still breedable. Got into a car accident and broke my leg, hip, and arm. Horses lost some weight in the care of other's while I was stuck in the hospital, so I'm dealing with that - hauling water and grain while I'm not supposed to be weight bearing. Had to sell two of my favourite horses because I'm out of work now and need to buy hay.
I could go on but... At the end of the day, I still got them. Sometimes I honestly wonder why. But I still do.

If it's something your heart just isn't into anymore, there's nothing much you can do. Doesn't make you any better or any less.

SlideStop 01-25-2013 03:27 PM

Horseback riding should be fun! Let's face it, all horses have something to teach us, but hey, we don't always click with them! Maybe she would be better off in the hads of an experienced jumper or eventer. It would probably make her a heck of a lot happier too! ;)
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Cacowgirl 01-25-2013 03:51 PM

If you aren't enjoying the horse,the expense becomes very burdensome. Is there anything about having a horse & riding that you really enjoy? Maybe you'd like another style of riding w/a calm responsive finished horse? Trail riding has always been my favorite thing,although I have tried most everything. It is sometimes too easy to get caught up in some else's goals & not do what you really want.

brittabam 01-25-2013 04:40 PM

Thanks for all of your advice. I like jumping but it's not fun when you can only do one jump at a trot. I've asked my trainer before if she thought she was too much horse for me, but she said no. I am going to revisit that conversation.

I like dealing with problem horses, I just don't feel like we are where we should be. I love the horse and think she is really sweet. But I am coming to terms that she might be better suited with a different rider. I would be very selective in the right home for her.

Sharpie 01-25-2013 05:17 PM

I wouldn't spend the money to keep a horse I didn't enjoy working with. It's too expensive to do without getting something out of it. If you want to go on to a different horse or a different hobby entirely, that's a personal decision, but very reasonable- horses are not for everyone, and sometimes there is just a mismatch between horse and rider than doesn't really work well.

Celeste 01-25-2013 05:49 PM

If you aren't enjoying the horse, there is nothing wrong with selling her.

I am a bit confused about the whole canter/jump thing. If she will jump from a trot, you are saying she won't canter? It seems like you could just keep her moving after the first jump and she would naturally stay in the canter.

Maybe I am wrong, but it seems to me that you are almost there.

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