I am so mad at myself! (rant for older riders)
Well, it's not that I am really mad at myself, but maybe mad at life in general. Here's why:
yesterday I took Zulu out for a trail ride. I keep trying to string together enough riding on him to build up the physical strength to ride him well. he's a 17 hh Irish Sport horse. his movement can be really big, and sometimes, really hard and flat (like a jackhammer!). So, it takes a toll on the rider's body.
I am almost 55, kind of short and more than chubby, downright fat! I have been active even while overweight and consider myself a decent all around trail rider. But, twice I almost bit the dust off the 17 hh giant. Once when he spooked and almost bolted right out from under me (so rare for him), and anotehr time, when I decided to take the last hill home at a wee gallop (as we often do) and he jumps sideways and stops at the top, nearly projectileing me into the hard ground.
Whew! I was glad I didnt' fall, but it just makes me mad that I am getting old, just when I am starting to develop the skills to ride! It's like, my skills are going up, but my body is failing me, and day by day, it becomes more risky for me to do the big exciting things.
I end up feeling jealous of the younger riders who go out and do all kinds of cross country jumping, or ride through a bucking fit (they blythely tell others, "just cowboy up and ride through it" . . yeah, right!)
Anyway, I am just feeling pissy that I have to work harder for less output, and knowing that it's only going to get harder makes me want to throw a hissy fit tantrum.
ok. I'm done.
Yup, that's the way it goes, but remember
Dang I forgot, another symptom of age:lol:
Actually I think you should be pleased, you had two almost dump moments and you stayed on. Newer riders would have lost their seat and come off. You did well.
I used to slide my horse down powerlines. He literally sat on his butt and "walked" his butt down, then knee-dug up the other side. I did that bareback ---- when I weighed 118 pounds.
Now it's a monumental day if I can get one of the two miles down to the end of my road.
Look at it this way: We are still motoring along. There are many in our eras (I'm 65) that are not.
They have either passed on or worse, are in nursing homes suffering from a mental or physical malady that holds them a prisoner in one of those places. Maybe they are fully aware of their surroundings, maybe not; either way is a tragedy:-(
I make myself think of that, everytime I start feeling sorry for myself, not being able to do what I used to do.
You're up on that Big Tree Topper of a Horse and, as AlexS commented, you stayed on; that's worth a whole lot.
We have paid our dues in a lot of ways the younger ones have yet to experience - feel guilty about noth---thinnnngggg:-P
I was lamenting on this very same phenomonon, and my friend gave me this poem and it now is framed and hanging in my tack room.
I do not know who wrote it.
There comes a day....
When nerve and muscle no longer obey
the eager spirit - There comes a day:
When courage gives way to caution, and you
begin to find reasons not to do:
When high adventure has lost its zest.
Then it's time for a reckoning - what is best?
So hark, young friends, as I tell it to you,
for surely at last you will be here too.
We flew that wall, the mare and I.
Now suddenly we pass it by:
Was it not just the other day?
She pricks her ears - I turn away.
Must all that joy belong to the past?
Is there nothing left that still can last?
Perhaps a way may yet be found -
Yes, there is a lessor middle ground.
The call of the trail, the glow of the ride -
a woodland walk with shortened stride.
For the sun still warms and water gleams
as ripples flow down the tumbling streams.
The wind blows fresh and spirits mend
with the horse you love - that comforting friend.
You stayed on! I find as I get older and BETTER, it pretty much takes a bronc to unseat me. At my age, I avoid broncs!
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True, but it doesn't fit well into my "poor me" rant.
thank you for the lovely poem. brings tears to my eyes.
I know that to rail against it means I lose out on what IS good, right under my nose. I just, from time to time, wish I had started earlier, as a rider. It seems like now, no matter what, each year will be a diminishment on the year before, in what I can physically do, and a lot more gritting my teeth through back and knee pain.
I think I still have a wee bit of rant still in there.
Rant heard and noted. While you are wishing, can you throw in an indoor arena for me please?
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I won't even repeat some of the things I've done in the past. The things kids type on this board that we jump all over for being unsafe and stupid, make things I've done look.... downright..... well.... anyway....
One thing I never understood was why adults were so nervous all the time and why they were so careful about everything they did....
What I don't understand now is... Why does 18" look so high? And who gallops a horse for no reason? And why would I want to swing from a tree limb and drop into the saddle of a moving animal? And who leaps off a 3 foot embankment into a rushing creek and why would you ride in through the woods when it's so dark you can't even see your hand in front of your face... OK, that one I would do again... coolest feeling ever!...
I don't like being old.
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