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afatgirlafathorse 03-10-2013 07:32 AM

A Thread That Is Not About Weight Loss
I poked by here yesterday to see if there was any conversation of interest and noticed a significant amount of threads focused around weight loss. This is completely fine, but I wanted to throw something else in the mix. A thread about accepting yourself the way that you are, and recognizing that not every physical body has to lose weight to be validated.

For a very long time, I existed as a fat woman who felt my existence was only acceptable if I validated by the "but I'm trying to lose weight" tag. It was like an apology for existing. "Yes, I'm fat, but I'm trying to lose weight!" - and that helped others to respect me or see me as a valid person. You know, when I stopped apologizing for being who I was and started to accept and care about myself, a healthy lifestyle was so much easier to maintain. It was a tough road to go but hen I acknowledged that "hey, this 325lb girl is a valid, worthy person", it was only then that I dropped 70lbs - because I wanted to do good things for myself, because I was a good person. You don't do favors for people that you hate, so why would you be able to sustain treating your body the right way if you feel bad or shameful about it?

Now I am not knocking those who are attempting to lose weight, and I'm not saying that I'm not trying to gain fitness and shed pounds, or that it's BAD to try to lose weight or that I am encouraging anyone to gain copious amounts of weight and not be aware of it -- what I am saying is that if you treat your body the right way - fuel it right and move it correctly and don't count EVERY SINGLE CALORIE, and live life with a little bit of joy, but you still are over the standards that are set by society for "weight", then that is OKAY. I also want to let it be known (for those who aren't fat that poke in here from time to time) that sometimes fat people DON'T sit on the couch and eat Doritos and ice cream all day (this is my favourite because it was an actual comment on my blog at one point, LOL). That as fat people we aren't lying if we talk about how active or clean eating we are and still don't drop weight hand over fist.

I'm definitely not trying to invalidate the weight loss threads that are going on right now, just trying to balance the topics on the forum. :) So that when people on the outside look in they can see that we are not quantifying our existence by saying "... but I'm trying to lose weight!".

ETA: In going with this, perhaps we could all post a recent photo of ourself (with or without a horse!) in which we feel like we look good and we appreciate and accept ourself.

afatgirlafathorse 03-10-2013 07:39 AM

Here I am yesterday at the beginning of my 12 hour shift! :)
(For anyone who is curious, at the mention of 325 in the earlier thread, I now hover between 250-260)

Tracer 03-10-2013 07:50 AM


Sure, I am currently trying hard to lose weight, but I am happy with who I am right now. More than that, my goal weight will still have me be obese. Even so, I want to get there and stay there, because it is a weight that I want, not what the rest of the world wants. I'm not losing weight for anyone but myself (well, and horses). It's for my health, and only slightly because I want to be able to shop in the average clothes store.

This is a photo from yesterday of me and my beautiful lease boy, Dozer. It's one of the few photos of myself that I like, even though it shows off my 'turkey wings', as I like to call them.

SlideStop 03-10-2013 10:02 AM

I don't give a flying crap about what others think of me and my extra pounds. I have lots friends, family and a girlfriend that love me just the way I am. Most of all, I love myself. I love the person I am regardless of what others think. Beauty is certainly more the skin deep! And remember, its not only "fat" people who face the challenge of self acceptance.

The reason I was to lose weight is because no amount of loving yourself is going to prevent a heart attack, diabetes, COPD, joint damage, sleep apnea, hypertension, etc. Working in the hospital I see a lot of things and I swear when I say if it wasn't CAUSED by being overweight then it was definitely COMPOUND by being over weight!
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afatgirlafathorse 03-10-2013 10:13 AM

No, self love certainly doesn't prevent those things -- but by what value do we measure "over"weight - which weight is it? For many of us (myself included at 6' tall), the BMI that seems to be most commonly used to measure what is "healthy" and what is not is impossible, literally. I would have to lose another 100lbs on to hit that scale appropriately.

My point is that sometimes you exercise and eat right and you DON'T hit that BMI-set number, and you're HEALTHY. And that's acceptable.

I just wanted to remind everyone that their self worth is not tied to that number on the scale. :)

SlideStop 03-10-2013 10:24 AM

I agree, the "appropriate" weight is a little... unrealistic. My sister is skinny, 4'11 and about 120. She would look emaciated if she was able to get down to 100, or less. I think that whole system needs to be revamped.

Bottom line is our bodies were never made to carry this much weight, regardless of good eating and activity. Our joints aren't designed to carry it. Our hearts have to work harder to circulate more blood to a larger body. Our kidneys are over taxed for circulating that blood. Our respiratory systems have difficulty with expansion. Sure, you feel healthy when your younger, but think of 10, 20 and 30 years from now!
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afatgirlafathorse 03-10-2013 10:41 AM

And that is certainly a valid point to make but was not the point or conversation I was aiming for with this thread. :)

CowboysDream 03-10-2013 10:57 AM

I agree with what you are saying and I agree with what SlideStop also said. I believe you are correct that it is easier to 'let go of the weight' when you have some self love. If you are truly doing it for yourself, because you love yourself, then it becomes easier... You don't mind giving it your all.
This was my first archery lesson.

I can say that right now I am not really concentrating on losing weight specifically. My boyfriend and I now do archery every Saturday morning. We also just got a puppy, so I am being more active just from that. Plus the weather is FINALLY getting warming and I am looking forward to getting out there more.
Isn't he perfect? :) His name is Rook.

Golden Horse 03-10-2013 11:33 AM

Posting in haste, but:

Numbers on scales..

Here am I riding at 250 pounds odd and feeling like a million dollars

Here am I at around 250 feeling like a sack of pooh

The difference? Well in the first pic I was on my way down from over 300 pounds, and in the second I was on my way back up from under 200:oops:

I was thinking about this today when my lying rotten stupid scales say I have gained weight this week, and that is impossible, because I have been on target with my eating all week:twisted:

My Thoughts.

I AM not happy at my current weight and shape, so I am doing something about it.

I will not wait until some mythical time in the future when I am some 'perfect' weight to actually get out and enjoy life.

I will do all I can within the physical capabilities of myself and my horse, and that boundary will constantly expand.

Numbers are numbers and do not define me.

Apart from my losses..

I have lost 30 pounds since November, and have been going

"Oh Woe is me" "Only 30 pounds and I nave so much more to go."

I should be saying

"GIRL YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR! 30 pounds is great"

Gotta go, but just some thoughts to add.

DimSum 03-10-2013 04:01 PM

Okay so I'll say it..."GIRL YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR and 30 lbs is great!!"
*hugs to you Goldenhorse* Oh and that is one super attractive boy you are riding! Keep on keeping on. I know exactly what you mean by being both happy and sad at the same weight, I just fit back into a new pair of jeans I bought-and stored for a few years as I'd gained weight.

I've never been hung up on numbers, when I was younger and working out my fighting weight was 165 lbs and I was very fit. Now I'm 48 years old and over time have gained a lot of weight. I feel it in my joints every single day, I'm up for a knee replacement sometime soon. As a nurse I see the problems that being overweight produce...diabetes which causes kidney failure, blindness, ulcers and limb loss. I see heart attacks and strokes, hip and knee replacements etc.

So yeah, I'm actively loosing weight. 45lbs since last summer, and more to go. I'm not saying for people to "not be comfortable in your own skin" about being overweight but you do have to think about taking years off the end of your life in trade for being overweight...that's the reality. I shudder to think I'll be lying there in one of my hospital beds not able to, to well clean myself up due to being overweight or loosing my leg to diabetes. Just my disjointed 2cents on the subject.

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