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JustJogOn 03-17-2013 07:00 PM

Cliche Leaving Instructor Post
So I'm switching barns :D but I want to know how far in advance I should tell my instructor? I've known said instructor for about 5 years (fortunately she pretty much knows her boundaries as an instructor and doesnt try to be as a lot of people seem to say "second mom"-ish) so its going to be hard leaving but I'm starting to get fed up at said barn. I still like said instructor and I have many friends at this barn who are staying so I dont want to burn bridges. I dont really want to get into specifics about what exactly I dont like so would it be rude to say that I talked with my mom and decided it would be in good interest to take a break from *barn name here*? How would you go about it? I doubt she would be rude to me, she is EXTREMELY non-confrontational. But I know she will think its SUPER personal. :hide:
*ETA: How far in advance should I tell her that I'm leaving?

horselessmom 03-19-2013 06:51 PM

What's your payment schedule?

The barn we just left, we paid each week, after each lesson. I felt we could give a pretty short notice--just a couple of weeks, and that's what we did.

Now we pay for 4 lessons in advance. I feel that with this arrangement, at least 4 weeks notices would be good, maybe even around 6-8.

Good luck. I found changing barns stressful.

I think it is totally fine to blame it on your mom. I'd want my kid to do exactly that!

JustJogOn 03-19-2013 06:59 PM

with SCHEDULE being the key word... none, really. part of the reason im leaving is lack of management. lol. usually we pay at the beginning of the month though so 4/5 lessons at a time

stevenson 03-19-2013 08:05 PM

since you stated yoy pay in advance, I will assume you paid on the first of this month? so i would tell the instructor now, so she can get another lesson scheduled and not be out the income.
dont go into great detail, if she ask state you are being given an opportunity you cannot pass up, and that your Mother has made the arrangements, and since she is the one who pays the bills.. And thank her for the lessons and say something to compliment her, like how much she has helped your riding, and how you will miss her or along those lines. But do tell her now.

Saddlebag 03-19-2013 08:48 PM

Think carefully about moving. There seem to be divas and unhappiness at every barn. If there are two people, a squabble will happen. "Due to a change in circumstance, the horse will be moved on such and such date. Your lessons have taught me a lgreat deal and who knows, perhaps one day we'll be back." Tuck the price of a lesson in an envelope and include "a small token of appreciation" on a card. Keep the door open. That is all the explanation she needs.

JustJogOn 03-19-2013 10:31 PM

Thanks, I really appreciate the advice. It sounds like I was on the right track :)

JustJogOn 03-19-2013 10:36 PM

Saddlebag, I know many people who did just that (leave without thinking), I've actually been taking lessons at the barn I will be moving to for about 3 months so that when I move I wont be leaving then turning back or finding that I liked the old barn more, listed out pros and cons multiple times, and no matter which way I cut the deck it still comes out in the new barns favor. Also, do you think it would be a good or bad idea to go to a show that the old barn is going to as support and basically to say "Hey I moved but I still like everyone"?

Skyseternalangel 03-19-2013 11:07 PM

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I just switched and I basically said that I wanted to get more serious about my riding and the distance was not working in order for this to happen. I also mentioned that I wanted to take more lessons but the barn was too busy to accomodate me.

I mentioned how much I've learned and how I had so many great that I wouldn't burn bridges.

I'd say something on the lines of "My mom wants me to start looking at closer barns to _____ (home, or her work, etc. so you have some wiggle room) and unfortunately that means I will no longer be riding here."

Hope that helped :)

Saddlebag 03-21-2013 09:10 AM

The idea of attending a show at the old barn can be a bit disconcerting but anyone in the boarding/coaching business should realize the time comes to move on. Smile at the oldies and tell them how you've missed them. Don't mention any attributes of the new place. Should someone ask - "It's ok". If you show any enthusiasm it may unconsciously persuade others to leave the old stable and then see how popular you are. Gotta keep the door open at the old stable. We can't predict the future and you may need to go back there.

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