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NorthernMama 10-19-2008 09:31 PM

Patience -- not practicing what i preach
So everyone's probably heard me say or agree with someone else who has said, patience, take it slowly, it takes time... so what's up with me not following my own advice???

I think it may have something to do with hanging out with other horse people who have real expectations of their horses, whereas I never really did. I just wanted something that stopped, turned, went faster or slower and was happy and healthy. Now since I got my new girl, I've taken her in the bush twice already even though I could see she is nervous there, tied her unsafely (not breakaway) and had the consequences for it, left her alone too early so she broke out of the paddock looking for her buddy, and who knows what all else. With every other horse I've taken off the track, I never expected that much of them in the first months of being here.

I talk a big storm, but then when I'm out there, it seems like everything about time and patience in training was never a part of me at all. It's not that I loose patience, just that I seem to think "well, she stood tied calmly every other time in the last month, so today she'll stand calmly again" duh... how stupid with a green 5 yr old can I be? So, my question is -- how do I get my head screwed on straight again before someone gets hurt?

sandy2u1 10-19-2008 11:42 PM

i feel your pain. I find myself wanting to hurry things along. I know that your doing it for different reasons than i am...but to me...rushing is rushing. im having to go to ground work on my horse because I was stupid in the saddle and its really tempting to me to just pretty much force him to let me back on. Now, before I do anything I stop and ask myself is my horse really ready for it or is it just me wanting him to be. I think your smart and you know what your doing and if you ask yourself you will come up with the right answer. I know its a simple answer and im sorry i couldnt be more help.

Horse Poor 10-20-2008 12:26 AM

Personally, I don't think your head needs screwed on any different than it're going to make mistakes, you're horse is going to make mistakes and it's part of the learning process. There comes a point in time when you have to trust your horse. If she "stood tied calmly every other time in the last month" why would you not trust her to continue to do so? As far as expectations go, I think you may finally have a horse that you feel you can have expectations for...that you see potential in not only her, but for yourself as well. You've grown as a rider and horseman and are expecting more from yourself, and in turn, expecting more from your horse. There's nothing wrong with that.

Just my .02 cents worth.

iridehorses 10-20-2008 06:57 AM


Originally Posted by northernmama (Post 170138)
So, my question is -- how do I get my head screwed on straight again before someone gets hurt?

Try keeping a copy of your post with you at all times.

There is a phrase that I taught my kids and still remind them of it when they get overwhelmed. "Slow it down - get it right".

Dumas'_Grrrl 10-20-2008 12:08 PM

The simple act of posting this suggests that you are already on the right track. :D

Slow and easy... Or as Iride suggested, Slow it down-Get it right.

Just keep telling yourself that. Write it on the back of your hand if you need to before working with them again.

NorthernMama 10-20-2008 12:11 PM

Thanks everyone. I think I should post a bulletin board in my barn for reminders to myself. I just feel so stupid for making these rushing mistakes.

Dumas'_Grrrl 10-20-2008 12:20 PM

My aunt used to keep sharpie marker in the tack shed. Everytime she needed to keep a training goal in mind she would write it on the inside of the doors. It was a visual reminder of "what to work on". Every time she went out to work with the horses.

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