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PaintMare 04-01-2013 02:19 PM

Always knew what to do...but I'm lost now..don't want to let go..
 
So I guess I should start from the beginning, I'll try to shorten this long story. My dad bought me my first horse (a green broke/neglected mare) 2 years ago. We boarded her, but when they raised the board we moved her to our property. I had to nurse her back to health, as the farm manager had not fed her properly....I taught her everything she knows, took her in when everyone else gave up on her, spent hours everyday with her...she became MY BEST FRIEND. Last year she went lame (we don't know exactly why, but guess it was from her pasture buddy or the mud). Long story short..she ended up having a bone chip surgery and now is only sound for walking/trail riding...no trotting/cantering/jumping. But she's sound, healthy, not in pain and happy...which is all I really care about.

My dad was never into horses...but paid for everything. Then he decides out of no where...to buy two horses, one for himself and one for my little sister. I advised him to just take lessons...but he wouldn't listen. We end up moving all three to a farm that has an indoor arena so we can ride. But also because my dad has gone bankrupt and is loosing our house and horse property.

The barn there at now is self care...and he does all the work, since he lives close. He was sooo excited to care for them, but after a month realized that its not all that he thought it was. He's not cut out for cleaning stalls everyday, breaking ice out of buckets, and basically all the work. He's also terrified of his own horse, even though he won't admit it. She's a 5 year old OTTB. Not a beginner's horse. He won't take lessons, won't ask for help, doesn't know the signs of colic...and these horses are NOT being cared for properly.

And I CANNOT go out to the barn at all. Because he...well let me just admit it. He's abusive. I'm 17. He's physically, emotionally and mentally abused me. And I'm not aloud to be around him. He can show up at the barn at any time, and its just not safe for me. He's unpredictable, an alcholic, and stalks people.

So now....he's decided to sell the horses. The ottb I know will go to a nice home. She's young, well trained, great on the flat, completly sound. She'd make a great flat class horse for an experienced teen or adult. The welsh pony...child safe, bombproof, beautiful on the flat and great over jumps, would make the nicest lesson mount.

However my mare is another story. She's not rideable. She's a little spooky. She really only acts right around me. And with the way the economy is...nobody wants a horse like that. No one wants a horse thats just going to sit in a stall and cost money, that can't work or show or really be ridden or taught lessons on. And I know where those horses go. To canada or mexico or an auction...and then the slaughterhouse. There are the lucky ones...but I don't want to risk it. She's my best friend. Like I said I'm 17...got the whole boyfriend break up, loosing friends, family issues, drama at school going on and who's the only one thats ever been there for me? That mare.

Now I have a job. I make $450 a month...but I gotta pay insurance and cell phone bills. I want to take her out of that situation. I found someone on craigslist that needs someone to clean stalls and hack horses in exchange for board. But my question I guess is....what do I do? Do I let her go? Or try to fight for this? And if I can afford it..something like a pasture board and work to pay for it and then spend my money from working at the vet clinic on farrier/vet bills. Then how do I get her from my dad??? I just need some advice..wisdom I guess. I'm so lost....

PaintMare 04-01-2013 02:21 PM

1 Attachment(s)
pic of her....

Taffy Clayton 04-01-2013 02:27 PM

Wow, I would fight for your mare. Try and get her to the new place where you will work for her board. If it doesn't work out there, at least you will be the one in control of her destiny, and not your father. If he abuses his children, it is not far fetched that he won't care what happens to the horses.

horsecrazygirl 04-01-2013 02:30 PM

I am so sorry that your going through this.
Can you do a partial lease with her? Like maybe with your BO or something else like that?

PaintMare 04-01-2013 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taffy Clayton (Post 2093346)
Wow, I would fight for your mare. Try and get her to the new place where you will work for her board. If it doesn't work out there, at least you will be the one in control of her destiny, and not your father. If he abuses his children, it is not far fetched that he won't care what happens to the horses.

true...but as much as she is "my horse" he did pay for her. And he is a control freak. So I'm just afraid that if I did find a place that I could afford...getting her there and away from him would be a problem. There was no real paperwork on her when we bought her. Although she is registered under the APHA. And I have that paper. I never switched her under my name though. She's still under the previous owners name. I'm just thinking that if I did switch her to my name that'd be the only proof that she's mine. He has none.

DancingArabian 04-01-2013 02:33 PM

Where's your mother in all this? What does she say?
Posted via Mobile Device

PaintMare 04-01-2013 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by horsecrazygirl (Post 2093386)
I am so sorry that your going through this.
Can you do a partial lease with her? Like maybe with your BO or something else like that?

The BO currently....is my dad. But yeah..if I moved her, to the other place that women has two daughters, maybe she'd decrease the board if her daughters could ride her. I just need ideas.

Taffy Clayton 04-01-2013 02:35 PM

You can always just ask, he did give her to you once. You can ask the new barn if they will get her and you can pay them.
You can offer to buy her for, hopefully, a small fee.
Get a bill of sale.
Start with the easiest solution first. You never know, he might be having a good day.

PaintMare 04-01-2013 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DancingArabian (Post 2093426)
Where's your mother in all this? What does she say?
Posted via Mobile Device


My mom is in the process of getting a divorce with him and a restraining order. She's had to get on welfare...I've had to move out and she's looking for a place to move. I'm trying not to bother her with the issue with the horses. She's got way to much going on right now..and I don't want her to be stressed any more then she already is. Plus she's not really into horses...she supports my love for them, but doesn't fully understand why I'd want to spend money on taking care of my mare, when I could "just sell her and ride somebody else's horse". And I would do just that...if she was completly sound and I knew she was going to go to a good home. But now a days...you see perfectly sound, healthy and well trained horses up for sale for months and months..at a reasonable price. But no one will buy them. Can you imagine what would happen to a horse that isn't completly ridable? thats were the unwanted horse problem comes in typically

Ray MacDonald 04-01-2013 02:40 PM

I would say put your mare in your name and then ask your dad if you can move her to this barn. If he says no, you would have legal rights to move her. It would royally piss him off but you need to get away from him as much as possible!


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