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inaclick 04-27-2013 05:12 PM

Potty Training Thread
Hey all

I have not been here in ages, since I did not have much contact with horses anymore in the past years, and my experience is also limited. So my contribution to threads would generally be limited or none. However, I noticed you have a parenting thread and decided to drop by.

Wanted to open a thread about potty training - we will begin "seriously" this week, since I get a week off work and I exiled my husband to my parents in law for these 6-7 days.
I'll try to sum up some facts:

1. My kid is 2 years and 2 months. Boy

2. Why now?
Because being completely potty trained is a kindergarten admission requirement in our country. No diaper-free = no kindergarten. Except private ones, that are terribly expensive. They also have to eat by themselves and generally pass some other developmental milestones - but I guess we have those.
Also, due to acute lack of staff, they just get sent to the bathroom when they need to and they come back by themselves. So even if he will go only next year (1 year from now), I want to start it slowly and make sure that in 12 months we have this base covered, more or less.

3. Readiness signs
well, he seems to be ready somehow
- announces verbally when he is about to go
- hates diapers .hates, hates. putting them on is a continuous wrestle. Also started to take them off by himself.
- we had some "victories" but i think they were incidental, he just happened to be on the potty. Other than that, many "accidents".
- calls me after these accidents to cleanup.
- tried to avoid them lately by desperately searching for a diaper to put on when he felt it was "coming"

So, uh

3. Plan
I don't really have a plan. I plan to get him naked, take the rugs and carpets out, and just put him on the potty every 30 minutes. If we get something in it, I plan to reward him.
I never had this reward-punishment system but for this special moment, I think I'll resort to one reward he should like: milk chocolate. I have this huge box of kinder chocolate, which is not really chocolate but some sweet milky stuff covered in chocolate in the fridge. I'll cut it in little pieces and offer them as rewards. And I know attachment parenting (which is great, i adhere to most of their concepts) considers this bribery, but god help me, I will bribe this child. I will bribe him with everything I've got lol.

And uh, that's about it. That's the plan.

Not sure what to do outside. Live in the city so can't let him naked outside. We have to get out though...

Any success / failure stories you might want to share?

Thanks for reading!

Joe4d 04-27-2013 06:03 PM

ive always wondered why rubbing his nose in it, wacking him with a newspaper and throwing him out in the yard wouldnt work.

NorthernMama 04-27-2013 07:52 PM

I started potty training as soon as they could walk. Really. Before you way that won't help you now, just wait a sec. It might because the methodology is the same. You already have that he hates diapers which is great!

Watch his behavior. They ALL give signs before they have to poop for sure and if they don't want to be wet, they'll give signs before they pee too. Your job is to watch for those signs. When the sign comes, put him on the toilet. I never used a potty because 1. it's gross and 2. there aren't potties everywhere you go. I did use a child's toilet seat though because esp. for boys, it makes it easier to keep things where they belong and also the child can learn to pick it up and put it on the toilet. Though he'll need your help to get and stay safely perched.

I would not put him on the potty every 30 minutes. You want him to recognize that when he feels it coming (which he does) THAT is the time to go to the potty. Not before, not after.

When he says he's gotta go, drop anything you are doing (turn off stoves, irons etc) and RUN! Pick him up and get him there fast. Don't let him go slowly there until you have a system in place where you know he has enough time to get there. He needs to have successes in feeling it, telling you and getting there on time.

This also means in stores, at friend's houses, at the park - anywhere. When he says, "Gotta go" you've got to be ready. So first thing you do when you go somewhere is locate the nearest bathroom.

And when he goofs, say, "next time will be better."

inaclick 04-28-2013 01:19 AM

appears to dislike sitting on the potty or on the toilet.

He's fine with that as long as he's not actually about to go. If he's about to go, he suddenly loves diapers again and searches one everywhere, more and more anxious. Well I guess if you go in a diaper for 2 years, which is also your whole life, you get the feeling that's how it should be.

trying to think of ways I could make those more attractive. I guess some stickers.
And the chocolate.

thanks for the tips.
regarding going outside, i have bought this **** thing, which is supposed to be assembled in 2 easy moves.

well, it doesn't, ok? or I am just very clumsy. Maybe I need to practice until I can assemble this one faster than Terminator can load his guns.

we spend our time in the park mostly when we get out of the house.

one last question, would you postpone this if he had a cold? but just cough and runny nose.

NorthernMama 04-28-2013 08:02 AM

No, I wouldn't postpone due to a cold. That's life too and he has to learn.

I've heard that some children don't want to defecate in the toilet because the toilet scares them. Something about things disappearing. His diapers have become some kind of weird security thing for him... maybe he's ashamed of messing in them and has transferred this shame to going to the bathroom anywhere, but feels he can hide in diapers? I dunno... just guessing. Maybe if you find something that he finds digusting and flush it down the toilet to show how all the bad stuff goes away it might help?

Because I started so early with mine, they never knew any different.

Lockwood 04-28-2013 08:21 AM

A couple of other perents I knew at the time my son was going through this would suggest floating something in the toilet as a target for peeing. Like cheerios. It worked for my friend with twin boys because they competed with each other...but for an only the target could be more of a "sink the ship" thing.

And I agree with NM about how some kids are afraid of flushing a part of them selves away when pooping in a toilet.
My son didn't have those issues but others I knew of the idea of flushing something gross/bad to show the toilet can be a good thing is a good idea.
...Just watch he doesn't flush something else by accident once he get's the idea that toilets make bad things disappear...LOL :wink:

My son was a preemie and developed a bit differently than other kids, so he wasn't as aware of body signals at that age as other kids.
So I waited a bit for more maturity and awareness, and when we did tackle it, it took like two days. He clearly understood what was expected and he never had an accident.

alexischristina 04-29-2013 02:49 AM

Maybe I was an easy kid, but my mum raised me in cloth diapers that didn't do any of this 'comfort when wet' stuff, and when she potty trained put me in panties. She said both my sister and I learned quickly that sitting around in wet cotton panties was NOT the way to go, and we were potty trained super quickly.

Delfina 04-29-2013 03:15 AM

Until they actually start initiating wanting to use the toilet/potty, I always put them on every 20minutes. Once they start to get it slightly, I don't do that anymore but I will ask if they want to go.

I bribed them just to sit on the dang thing! Then bribes for using it after we were ok with sitting on it and then as they got the hang of it, we just ran out of the bribes...

Get a waterproof pad for the carseat. Nothing worse than needing to wash the padding on a carseat!!

I also made the clean up any messes (with help of course). You made a mess on the floor? Ok, you can clean it up now. Boy they don't like that part which greatly encourages them to not make a mess!

tinyliny 04-29-2013 05:19 AM

My son walked at just past 9 months of age, so I doubt he'd have been able to potty train that young. They have to have certain level of physical maturity or you are just wasting your time and making things worse.

Seems we went thru the same things . I used to keep a book near the kiddy potty and read to him while waiting and hoping he'd grace me with a turd.

Lockwood 04-29-2013 08:19 AM

I forgot to add-
My son was very motivated by sticker charts and earning a prize/toy.
I kept the chart where he could plainly see it and check on it (how many stickers he had "earned")
Because he is very visual, being able to see his daily and weekly progress seemed to really encourage him.

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