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oliveoats 05-09-2013 10:31 PM

A Question to Parents of Equestrians
 
I'm sorry in advanced if this is in the wrong section.


In short: I went to my first gymkhana clinic at my barn. Even though this was only practice runs with no times, I would watch girls: scream at, slap (some in the face), whip, and exessively lunge their horses for not 'preforming'. Some of these horses included horses very new to the sport, very old horses that weren't fit enough to be running the courses, and horses that really ran their hind ends off (I can't even tell what went wrong). As a parent, would you let your son or daughter throw this type of tantrum infront of everyone?




The whole story:
Hello everyone, my name is Olivia and I am a 19 year old college student who is currently getting back into riding. My horse has been under saddle 10 months, and I started him myself with the help of an experienced mentor. When my mentor and I found out about a gymkhana clinic going on at my barn to get more people interested in the gymkhanas we'd be hosting over the Summer, we thought it'd be a great experience for my horse Sawyer.

I took the courses slow, as it was Sawyer's first time doing anything of this sort and my mentor warned me not to burn him out on patterns. I was having a great time, doing the patterns in a running walk, and Sawyer was making progress with every practice run. The younger teenagers of my barn, 12-18, weren't as impressed though (I wasn't out there to impress anyone). They were all screaming at me to run him home, or to try the course in the canter. I explained to them why I wasn't doing this already, but I didn't let them bug me. I just kept at my pace, although I found it a little rude. I started having girls saying 'let me get on him, he could do this fast but you aren't letting him' 'you need to run him, he's never going to be good if you don't'. Again I ignored all of this.

What bothered me more than these girls pushing me and saying things I found very rude, was how they reacted when they felt their horses weren't preforming up to their standards. I first saw this in the warmup arena, where a horse tripped in the arena, sending the girl to the ground. She got up and smacked the horse in the face, then started lunging the living heck out of it, whipping it in the chest to make it turn directions. It continued into the day, girls not having perfect runs and jumping off their horses screaming "I hate this stupid horse!" cursing and throwing an all around fit. The worst case was when a girl brought out a lease horse who is around 25 years old. The leaser has told her MANY times that the horse is not for Gymkhana and is only for walking and trotting. When the mare threw a buck being ran (HARD) home, the girl started hitting it hard when she was out of the arena and then ran that mare in the warmup pen until it was literally dripping in sweat.

During all of these episodes, parents were present. Most would turn the other cheek, and some would try to consol the girls. One even offered "I'm sorry he was being so bad. We'll go boot shopping after this". If I had done ANYTHING like this, even yelling at my horse for 'not running fast enough' 'bucking when I clearly pushed him way past his ability' or 'tripping' I would have probably had my butt beat by my parents and mentors infront of all of them. The way these girls' parents let them act really appalled me.



So, my question to you is:As a mother, father, trainer, or mentor, would you have let your son or daughter behave in this way? If not, what type of repercussions would these types of actions had?

Thank you for your input and reading my experience. Good luck to you and your children in all of your riding endeavors :)

Dreamcatcher Arabians 05-09-2013 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oliveoats (Post 2473393)
I'm sorry in advanced if this is in the wrong section.


In short: I went to my first gymkhana clinic at my barn. Even though this was only practice runs with no times, I would watch girls: scream at, slap (some in the face), whip, and exessively lunge their horses for not 'preforming'. Some of these horses included horses very new to the sport, very old horses that weren't fit enough to be running the courses, and horses that really ran their hind ends off (I can't even tell what went wrong). As a parent, would you let your son or daughter throw this type of tantrum infront of everyone?
............................
So, my question to you is:As a mother, father, trainer, or mentor, would you have let your son or daughter behave in this way? If not, what type of repercussions would these types of actions had?

Thank you for your input and reading my experience. Good luck to you and your children in all of your riding endeavors :)

My father would have taken off his belt and whipped me every step of the way back to the truck or home or to the barn, where ever I thought I was going. If I had interfered with someone schooling their horse (the girls yelling at you), I'd have been taken home forthwith. The next day, my horse would have been sold and I'd never have seen another barn. PERIOD! Riding and horses are a privilege, not a right.

LouieThePalomino 05-09-2013 10:53 PM

Im 16 and I would have never done things like that. It sounds like these bratty girls are clearly only interested in horses for the image and money. They obviously care nothing for their horses. I wouldve said something to them, I cant just stand around while someone is being cruel.
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OutOfTheLoop 05-09-2013 10:54 PM

That's what's wrong with the horse world today. Heck I sold my daughters pony because she wanted me to do all the work, but if she decides when she gets older she wants ro ride again. If I ever catch her acting like that I will jerk her off and she will never see a horse again.

On another note, its not just children that do this, it goes into adulthood as well. Ive seen grown women snatch their horses face off because they turned a barrel wrong. Makes me wonder if they would have had a different attitude if they would have gotten tge snot beat out of them when they were kids for acting in that manner.
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oliveoats 05-09-2013 11:04 PM

Thank you so much for your replies everyone :-) I feel relieved to know that there are parents who wouldn't tolerate this. I'd love to hear from more people with their experiences/ opinions

Quote:

Originally Posted by LouieThePalomino (Post 2473521)
I wouldve said something to them
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I really wish I would have. This was my first time in any type of horse show/event environment, and I didn't know if this was common and I'd be crossing the line or stepping out of my boundaries as 'the newcomer'.

cowgirl4753 05-09-2013 11:27 PM

I would have had my butt pulled off my horse, dragged back to the truck where I would have got at the very least a tongue lashing told to unsaddle and load my horse and took home, end of story. If I was lucky I wouldn't be grounded for a month and therefore no riding whatsoever
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Fort fireman 05-09-2013 11:53 PM

My daughter will NOT act like that or her riding career will be drastically shortened. Of course she is only 20 months old. I really hope we instill a working respect for her partner long before anything like this can occur. If not a warm butt can help a point soak in pretty well. Honestly I think mama would handle it long before it got to me. :lol:

As far as the comments it really is no bodies business but yours unless you are doing something completely unsafe or ask for help. Those are in my opinion the only time it is appropriate to voice an opinion or concern.

aforred 05-10-2013 12:04 AM

I'm a big believer in personal responsibility. I've been teaching my son that when the horse doesn't perform as expected, it was probably his fault. I don't make him feel like a loser, or anything, but he knows that mistakes happen, and they are usually his.

That said, if the unthinkable happened and my kid behaved anywhere NEAR what you describe, his world would come crashing down around him like a ton of bricks. He would lose all his electronics, books, friends, snacks, his "cool" clothes, toys, hair gel... Basically, anything that he does not need to survive, he would not have access to. In addition to that, he would get the crappiest chores I could come up with. Picking up rocks and sticks in the yard (this is especially useful because of the gravel driveway), scrubbing floors, disinfecting trash cans, and whatever other gross, physically demanding job I could come up with.

Cruelty will not be tolerated, under any circumstances. Period.

cakemom 05-10-2013 12:00 PM

Ha, you're talking to the woman who watched her kid run a lap on foot around the arena bc she would NOT stop being all handsy and grippy on her mares mouth while doing her jumping lesson Wednesday.
Brat behavior is not allowed.
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DancingArabian 05-10-2013 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aforred (Post 2473905)
I'm a big believer in personal responsibility. I've been teaching my son that when the horse doesn't perform as expected, it was probably his fault. I don't make him feel like a loser, or anything, but he knows that mistakes happen, and they are usually his.

That said, if the unthinkable happened and my kid behaved anywhere NEAR what you describe, his world would come crashing down around him like a ton of bricks. He would lose all his electronics, books, friends, snacks, his "cool" clothes, toys, hair gel... Basically, anything that he does not need to survive, he would not have access to. In addition to that, he would get the crappiest chores I could come up with. Picking up rocks and sticks in the yard (this is especially useful because of the gravel driveway), scrubbing floors, disinfecting trash cans, and whatever other gross, physically demanding job I could come up with.

Cruelty will not be tolerated, under any circumstances. Period.

I don't know what he did but once I saw a soldier being punished by having to move a big stack of finder blocks from point a to point b. They were big enough that he had to carry them one at a time. He had to stack them a certain way. When he was done, his officer in charge came out, pushed the neat stack over and told him to do it again but this time to stack the at point a. He ended up doing it several times before they let him to to bed.
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