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polkadotspot 05-16-2013 12:25 PM

Help!
 
My friend is looking to buy her first horse to move onto my stables, she has ridden in a riding school for 8 years. Now we all know what riding school horses are like - Safe Dobins. My friend is looking to come out of a riding school and buy a 3 year old to that knows the basics but she wants to bring it on herself. She is also looking at ex-race horses. I've told her this is dangerous water and that she needs a horse that will BRING HER ON!

I don't want her confidence shattered by not having the right horse, but she won't listen to me. I've owned my own horses for 6 years and I know what its like to ride problem horses. I am confident in my opinion that she shouldn't be having a youngster or an ex-racehorse for her first horse but she will NOT listen.

Any suggestions?

Dustbunny 05-16-2013 12:58 PM

Well, 8 years is a long time to be riding so hopefully she has picked up more information that simply how to sit on a horse. She has a lot more time under her belt than a lot of first-time buyers who think that getting a young and/or inexperienced horse is the way to start.
Do you think she lacks the ability to make a rational decision? Sometimes even experienced horse people go with the heart and not the head.
Maybe you could offer to go with her to look at horses. After all, you are going to have to live with the horse too as the barn owner.
Hopefull she will get a good one.

polkadotspot 05-16-2013 01:01 PM

I 'learnt' at the riding school she's learnt at. I barely learnt anything while I was there but learnt everything I know when I loaned a pony from the age of 10. I am worried for her sake as well as the horse's sake if she gets something she cannot ride. I am offering all my help but am getting it thrown back in my face by her saying 'I will ride anything'.

Dustbunny 05-16-2013 01:47 PM

Pokadotspot...you are sort of in a touchy spot. Often you can talk until you are blue in the face and it does no good. Really difficult when it's a friend. : (
I don't know what you can do other than be willing to help if it's asked for. If the horse turns out to be a problem, then as the BO, you have other issues to face...safety and liability.
Hopefully your friend will get a nice horse and there will be no serious issues. That would be ideal, wouldn't it?

wetrain17 05-16-2013 03:26 PM

All you can do is talk to her about your concerns. It will be up to her what she does with it. It won't make you a bad friend if she doesn't take your advice.

kitten_Val 05-16-2013 03:52 PM

I hope I won't be beat up for saying it, but there ARE exceptions when people with limited experience take in a youngster and successfully bring it up themselves. With that being said it's something not very common, and something I personally would NEVER recommend.

With your friend you may try to bring up your concerns in a very nice and friendly manner, because there is a good chance she may be offended. If she still wants to get a "tough" horse, try to persuade her to work very closely with the trainer for the sake of her own (AND horse's) safety.

polkadotspot 05-17-2013 12:37 PM

I know how hard it is to bring a horse on myself and my mare was 13 when I had her! Yes, she had trust issues but it was extremely difficult for both of us. I am now bringing on a youngster.

I have tried talking to her in all manners, I have raised my concerns but it doesn't seem to be doing any good. All I can do is sit tight and wish for the best. Thankyou for your responses guys!

sinsin4635 05-17-2013 01:00 PM

Bottom line is., she's gonna get what she wants. So hopefully its a good match, but if not, she may have to learn the hard way.

smrobs 05-17-2013 01:05 PM

Polkadot, I understand your concerns, but like wetrain said, all you can really do is voice your concerns and hope she listens.

There is an old saying that goes "there are 3 types of people in the world; those who learn by reading, those that learn by observation, and the rest of us just have to pee on that electric fence ourselves". That means that some people just have to make their own mistakes because they won't listen to anyone else, no matter how sensible the advice.

Just voice your concerns but don't beat her over the head with them...and be there to help and support her if she gets in over her head. That may happen, or she may completely luck out and it may not.

katec1991 05-17-2013 01:30 PM

I ran into a similar situation. My friend, who has very little horse experience, adoped a green broke rescued chestnut mare with a TON of issues. She rears, has no respect, runs away.... It's pretty bad. I did all I could to convinve her not to adopt this mare but that only made her want to do it more to proove everyone wrong. All she did was make herself look stupid and put herself in a lot of danger. I think she is finally realizing that because she finally started working with a trainer. Sometimes people have to learn for themselves.
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