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Bagheera 05-23-2013 12:38 AM

My horse passed away last Tuesday and I've been having really bad anxiety at work lately since it happened. I don't know what to do. It happens mostly when I work an opening shift. Normally I'd have gone to see him after I got off at 5:30pm. I've been getting really worked up and feel sick to my stomach as it gets closer to the time to leave. I know I'm still grieving his loss, i cry all the time, but I just don't know what to do. Ive never been anxious like this, not even in very stressful situations. I feel like throwing up and can't stand still. Any suggestions on how to help my anxiety?

Skyseternalangel 05-23-2013 12:46 AM

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:( It's grief, dear

You should talk to someone about it. Really vent out and maybe see about looking into volunteering with horses so that you aren't compleltely without. I may not have lost lost my horse.. but I still miss him and this helps me.

Crossescowgirl 05-23-2013 12:47 AM

Im sorry for your loss
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Dustbunny 05-23-2013 10:58 AM

Grief is real and grief over the loss of a pet is real. It affects each of us differently. I would seek our someone to talk to...pastor/spiritual leader, counselor, good friend. Often simply having someone listen helps a lot. There are also books on handling grief that might help.
What helps me is to shed all the tears I need to, then focus on how much that animal enriched my life (and hopefully I enriched his), give myself a certain amount of time, and then go look for another companion (which is not always easy).
You are not alone in how you feel. Loss is a part of living. I have many special friends hidden away in the corners of my heart. Most of us understand and you have our sympathy.

jaydee 05-23-2013 11:25 AM

I think most people who love their horses (and other pets too) feel what you're going through when they lose them, some just deal with it differently or hide it better but whatever its a process you have to go through.
I have 2 older horses myself that have health issues and even after years of owning horses every time I think about what I'm going to do 'when the time comes' I feel close to tears
I think letting it all out and maybe talking to someone is better than bottling it up and crying is a good release of emotion so don't feel ashamed for doing it
Do try to occupy your time and your mind on other things - as someone suggested maybe volunteer to help at a rescue centre
Try to focus on the many good times you spent with your horse and set yourself positive goals to move forwards
Our home is full of photos of past loved ones that we never forget - even my husband gets all choked up at times when we talk about them but the hurting does get easier over time. You can get over this

Bagheera 05-23-2013 10:19 PM

I'm still riding a couple of days a week at my trainer's barn. It helps just being around the horses for sure. It's hard to talk about it because I don't know a lot of people who really understand. Only a handful of the horse people I know have lost a horse and can relate. It's especially hard to talk about when I get upset at work because none of my coworkers understand. I've been trying to stay busy and keep myself occupied because being distracted helps to. I guess I just need to work through it and try to ignore the anxiety. Im thinking about seeing a therapist again as well. My depression has been kicking my butt and having lost my horse has made it even worse. He was my fuzzy, four legged support system. Thanks for the advice and support. I'll figure this out.

Dustbunny 05-24-2013 12:38 AM

You know, many people don't understand if they haven't been down that road.
Seeing a professional is probably a good idea. I'm glad you are still riding and around horses. Nothing like standing next to one, wrapping your arms around it's neck and resting your head against it. That is therapy too.
Good luck and keep us posted.

Celeste 05-26-2013 09:43 PM

I know how you feel. A month ago, my 26 year old retired horse that I loved dearly died suddenly. Two days later, I was told that my x-rays came back with masses in my lungs. Anxiety doesn't begin to describe it. My doctor put me on prozac. So far, they don't think I have cancer. I know this sounds crazy, but I was more upset about the horse than I was about the cancer scare. The prozac is helping I think. It hurts to lose a horse.

Dustbunny 05-26-2013 10:20 PM

Good thoughts and prayers, Celeste....for all you are going through.

Skyseternalangel 05-27-2013 05:26 PM

730 Attachment(s)
Hugs Celeste :(

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