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iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 08:30 PM

Blonde Jokes
What do you call a blonde with an IQ of 5? Genius

What has an IQ of 27 and digs holes? 27 Blondes
What has an IQ or 28 and digs holes? A Wombat

Why can't blondes make ice cubes? They forgot the recipe.

Why did the blonde put ice cubes in her fridge? To keep it cold.

Why can't blondes go watersking? The lake is flat.

No offense to blondes, you all all awesome!

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 08:31 PM

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them

WesternTale 06-24-2013 08:31 PM

Ouu ouch.

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 08:35 PM

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”

“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!”

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.” The blonde said, “No. A bet’s a bet.”

So the redhead said, “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”

The blonde replied, “Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 08:40 PM

How do a Blondes Brain cells die? Alone

How did the Blonde get squished icefishing? By the Zamborgi machine

What do you call a Blonde with a dye job? Artifical Intelligence

How do you make a Blondes eyes light up? Shine a Flashlight in her ear.

Why can't Blondes eat Jello? They can't figure out how to get two cups of hjello into those little packages.

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 08:44 PM

What do you do when a Blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you do when a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like Heck....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

If a Blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
The brunette. The Blonde has to stop to ask for directions

What do you call a Blonde in a tree with a brief case?
Branch Manager.

How did the Blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.

Why do Blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A Blonde electrician.

Why are dumb Blonde jokes so short?
So men can understand them.

What job function does a Blonde have in an M&M factory?

Do you know why the Blonde proofreader got fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.

Why did the Blonde try to steal a police car?
She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.

What do you call a Blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champ

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 09:14 PM

A Blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote a note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7AM. Signed, The Blonde."
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag with the cash was the following note: "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one Blonde would do this to another.

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 09:16 PM

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde are talking one day. The Russian says, "We were the first in space!"
The American says, "So what? We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde says, "That's nothing! Blondes will be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American look at each other and in unison say, "Blondes...!" The Russian, in exasperation, says "'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"

The Blonde flounces her hair and replies, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 09:19 PM

Two Blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a Blonde in the middle of the field rowing a boat. The driver Blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's Blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this the other Blonde replied "I know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."

How do you get a one-armed Blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.

How do you confuse a Blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.

How did the Blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.

How did the Blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for french fries.

How can you tell when a FAX has been sent by a Blonde?
There is a stamp on it.

How can you tell if a Blonde is a good cook?
She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

iRide Ponies 06-24-2013 09:20 PM

What are the worst 6 years of a blonds life?
3rd Grade

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