I need to Ďventí amongst unbiased people, who donít know the thick of it.
So here it is. Iím in my mid 20ís. And Iím slowly getting prepared to buy my first home - slowly. Iíve been saving my nickels and dimes for a down payment. But, hereís my dilemmaÖ
Iíve lived on one side of the state for my whole life, I like it here, but property on this side of the state is spendier, but possible to own. As of right now, I keep my horses at my grandmothers house. She has 16 acres (mind you, very wet acres in the winter Ė the pastures donít usually dry out till mid May), a small two stall barn with a lean to, huge shop (mind you that has the facility business run out of it at the moment), a nice house, fenced decently, but part of it is very graveled due to the family business. I do have a very high probability of inheriting my grandmothers property when she passes, or at very least getting half and the other half split with my dad. But, the problem with this is I donít live there. There is nothing more than Iíve ever wanted then to live with my horses. My grandmother is still rather young, and to be frank, I donít want to be renting and waiting, and not knowing if Iíll get the place when she is gone. If the property is split, my father will be Ďrudeí with his. i.e. wonít care if I want to buy it or use it (we donít really have a relationship), and I fear heíll section me off of it. And my grandmother will tell no one who gets the place in her will. In no way, am I wishing my grandmother away, Iím just getting to a point in my life where I want my OWN life. I want a property where I can put the fences where I want, park my trailer where I want, have more space to do things then just my little barn.
On the other note, my very long time boyfriend is from the other side of the state. Typically this part of the state is pretty sagey and dry, but up North where heís from itís very green Ė I adore it. Warm/dry summers and snowy/dry winters Ė I love it. No mud and not a lot of yucky rain = lots more riding time. Property on this side of the state is much cheaper, but wages are also lower. The great point of this, is that my boyfriends father owns their family company, thatís 4 generations in the making (5 if my boyfriend took it over), so this business is very well off and settled. If my boyfriend worked over there heís take a few dollar pay cut Ė but this could be made up with the commission heíd make with the job. On top of all this, this job it secure and there is a lot less drama that goes along with it. As for me, Iíve been at my current job for a few years now, the drama and work load it outrageous and the pay would be the same on either side of the state for me. I also like that on my boyfriends side of the state there is so much more space and land between you and the next person.
Iíve been told make a list of the good and the bad. Weight your options. Etc. Iíve done it all, but need some clear thinking.
I know very few people on the other side of the state.
My family is on my side.
Help clear my mind! Haha!
I am just about in the same boat as you. I live with some elderly grandparents that are getting up there age and starting to go crazy from mental problems. I keep going back and forth about moving out or staying. I would look at first how will that area grow, is there enough things to do. How are the other horse people. You try to find some areas that board and talk to the stable owners and ask them about what its like to live in that area. Most are open if they think you want to move horses in. I normally don't, I just want to hear what they have to say. I also look at if I can get a job right away....etc. I would try to stay with your BF. Its a good thing in the long run and should help you out in the end.
Instead of trying to fit everyone else into your scheme, figure out what YOU want to do and make it happen on your own without relying on job changes, moves, other peoples' money, 'maybe' properties being willed to you, etc.
If you like a certain part of the state better than another, move there. Just remember, if there's little rain there will also be little water, and that will impact everything having to do with horses as well adversely affect your cost of living. There's a reason properties in a dry area are cheaper.
The closest family relative to me is 2 1/2 hours away. I didn't buy my 5 acre farmette based on anything except my own desire. If you're too tied to your family or BF to strike out on your own, then maybe you need to continue to board until you get more of a handle on what you really want to do with your life.
Thanks for the input. I wouldn't say so much I'm bonded, but rather I've only known one place, and moving across the state is a BIG change. I may have made the other side of the state sound like a wasteland...,it's not, very green in the area I'm considering. Picking up and leaving all you've ever known behind it a 'scary' thing in my mind. My heart goes to where I can have my horses, but if I hold out over here on a 'maybe', I could - but thats years down the road. If I move across the state I get more 'bang for my buck' in the property department...
Are you and your boyfriend looking to purchase together, or you separately?
You have to make your choices independent if what other people might do. It sounds like unless you inherit your grannies land outright and in full you won't get it at all. It also doesn't sound like the best setup for horses nor that it will happen anytime soon. All that means to me there's nothing to consider.
Your boyfriend is just a boyfriend. Unless a wedding is being planned, IMO, he's planning on being temporary and there's no reason to worry about what he's doing. If you want to move to the other side of the state, consider if you would still be happy there if you broke up. Is that a place you would want to live and be able to live in the way you want even if you're not together ? If you only want to be there for him, then you need to be prepared with a plan b in case the relationship ends.
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My husband and I moved 8 hours away from both of our families to get the property/area/climate that we desired and have been extremely happy with our decision.
Personally I would not sit around waiting for your grandmother's land. When she passes on and if you inherit it - then you can decide to move back there if you so wish. Otherwise you will be sitting around and who knows what might happen in that time frame while you waste time waiting.
Figure out the area you would like to live and then plan accordingly. If you choose to stay on our side of the state then maybe it would make sense leaving your horses where they are at. However, if you really love the other area - I wouldn't not move just because you might inherit some land.
I've more than mulled over the fact that 'boyfriends' rarely last - this I'm well aware of. But, we've been together for so many years now, that it's weird, almost childish to call him a boyfriend - haha.
What I like about the other side of the state is the idea of a clean slate, more property, high chance of a nice size barn, a lot of referbed. farm homes, etc. ++ it's nice to know, that his job is VERY secure.
We are not planning on buying together, one or the other. That way if things didn't 'last' - well you all know the rest...
The big issue I have with my currect side of the state is that it's all that I know and I'm very attached to my grandmother's property, because oddly, I feel as though it is the last piece of my grandfath - whom I was EXTREMELY close to and has now passed on. But, like Dancingarab. said, the property really isn't the set up I 'want' per say.
That you all so far for the input - it's actually VERY helpful!
Maybe there's something on the property you could have as a keepsake? Like a windchime or some favorite plant seedlings you could replant or something else.
Whatever decision you make just make sure you can hang on to your choices if you had to do it alone.
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