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-   -   Here is the prequel of Rules for Dating my Daughter!! (http://www.horseforum.com/jokes-funnies/here-prequel-rules-dating-my-daughter-24121/)

smrobs 03-11-2009 02:47 AM

Here is the prequel of Rules for Dating my Daughter!!
 
Here is what a boy is given before he is issued the rulebook for dating daughters. He must pass the application process first. LOL!!!!

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor.

1. NAME __________ DATE OF BIRTH __________

2. HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q __________ G.P.A. __________

3. SOCIAL SECURITY ______-____-________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK __________

5. HOME ADDRESS ____________________________________________

CITY/STATE ___________________________ ZIP __________

6.Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Y / N

If No, EXPLAIN ___________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married __________

8. Do you own a van? A truck with oversized tires? A waterbed? Do you
have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises) __________

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ __________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ __________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ __________________

12. Church you attend __________ How often do you attend? __________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? _____________________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is _________________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my __________

c) A woman's place is in the __________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is __________________________________________________ _____________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is __________
(NOTE: If your answer begins with 'T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15.What do you want to be IF you grow up? ___________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED-HOT POKERS.

Signature (That means your name, moron) ______________________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?

__________ Yes, please accept my application

__________ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...

Loosewolf 03-11-2009 04:32 AM


(NOTE: If your answer begins with 'T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

I think I had met this parent many years ago...
The above passage comes to mind.....

Angel_Leaguer 03-11-2009 03:20 PM

That is great... Im glad that I was the third daughter, at that point my dad just didnt have the "I will kill you kid" approach anymore.

Spastic_Dove 03-11-2009 06:52 PM

*Sigh* That is totally my dad.
When Jay first met him, my dad thought it would be a great time to be carrying his gun.
Poor Jay. His ex's dad did something fairly similar :P

Kiki 03-12-2009 06:47 AM

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is __________
(NOTE: If your answer begins with 'T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

LOLz teeth or arms? Whats wrong with that?

english_rider144 03-13-2009 04:39 PM

8. Do you own a van? A truck with oversized tires? A waterbed? Do you
have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)

ahaha the whole piercing and tattoo thing is good here. I'm pierced, though my dad dislikes liberty spikes and mohawks.

Dumas'_Grrrl 03-13-2009 04:56 PM

Thanks for that application!!! I have 12 and 14 yo daughters. 6 years processing time and Voila!!! :lol:


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