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xXxPony BoyxXx 06-01-2009 05:27 AM

I kinda gave up
 
Ok so get this, I kinda gave up on myself.

A few years ago when I was like 10 or so I hada skiing acceident and I almost died. the docs told me if I hit my stomach hard enough that I would bleed inside again, wich wouold kill me since I have grown larger.

So I havea issue riding, even now several years later.
I cant seem to force myself to get at her so that she will do what I want. I think i am kind of scared she will dump me and then falling down then bleeding again.

I let ehr get her own way, so long as she wont hurt me, which has worked well, till now, once I am starting to ride again.
What I have learned is not to think of something like her biting you or kicking you or her getting out when the gate is open. I learned if ya htink it chances are its going to happen. She knows when I am scared. Or mad, Or whatever, Usually when I get scared from her, she realizes it and stops, ir like when she hurts me.

But I can't seem to stop thinking of getting dumped. I know I am a good rider, I know how to stay on, I just get really really nervous and can't stop thinking about getting dumped. This is why I dont make her do much. I dont want to make her mad then dump me, even though I very very highely doubt she will, I just keep thinking it.

Anyone out there have any idea's. I really really want to ride in the rodeo or horse show this year. I know she can do alot of things. I just dont know how to get her to do it. I am very very nervous. AND VERY SHY, I hate working around people. I hate talking to my horse around people. they always look at you...


xXxPony BoyxXx

AND YES I AM A GUY. I LIKE PINK....


KINDA

loveverythinghorses 06-01-2009 07:43 AM

Wow guy, I sure don't kow what to tell you. If you're painfully shy around people where you avoid any kind of crowds and don't like working with people, then you seriously shouldn't ride. An instructor could help you, but if you're not willing to do that, then I don't know what to suggest. A horse I was riding a few years ago got scared and did a 180 on me, I went flying and hit my head and knocked the wind out of me. Stupid me didn't use a helmet and had to really get my head cleared before I could chase my galloping horse back to the barn. Don't think for one second that my getting back in the saddle has been easy. Every single horse I have tried since that accident has been pure terror. The image of flying and falling fills my head every time. But I have been working with an instructor for 2 years and last November I cantered for the first time in 3 years. Something I was pretrified to do. My goal is to show at the local level, and I have found if I can't get over my fear, then I am never going to show. Something has to give. I made a decision and now riding has become fun again, but believe me it has not been an easy road. If you really want to ride *that* much, you will find a way to get over it. Oh and BTW, you're horse is finding out that it can do whatever it wants to when you are riding, if you cannot establish to be a leader to your horse in the saddle, then you will never get your confidence back and the horse will always push you around. Riding horses is a risk no matter how much riding experience you have. If you like the animals that much, you will find a way.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

cowgirl4jesus94 06-01-2009 01:38 PM

It would probably help you alot to find an instructor that will start with you and your horse from the ground until you gain confidence. At some point in your life you will have to step outside of your comfort zone. And if this is what you want to do, go for it.

xXxPony BoyxXx 06-02-2009 05:37 AM

Thanks everyone for the reply. I already feel better.

Anyhow. I dont know how easy it will be to find a trainer with the saem beliefs I have. I hate doing things I dont belive in.

I feel alot better when riding bareback, more confident. We actually opened the gate for the first time while I was still on her. But if I was in the saddle I wouldnt, just for some reason the saddle takes the courage right out of me.

Maybe it is just because I am closer to her than in a saddle. I can do anything with her. Till I get in the saddle. Anything other than, like going faster than a walk.

Thanks alot though :|

7Ponies 06-03-2009 07:08 PM

I don't know the extent of your injuries, but the human body HEALS. It also GROWS with you as you grow, even if it has been injured. I would speak with another doctor and ask specifically if you can safely ride, given your past injuries. The only thing I can think of that might "bleed" and "kill" you if you got hit in the stomach, was if you had an aneurysm. (and any person could have one of these, it's not age related).

I broke my back riding, and yes, I could do so again. But for that matter, I could get run over by a truck crossing the street as well.

Don't let fear run your life. Speak with your doctor and find out exactly what you are dealing with now, not what you dealt with when you were 10. The human body is amazing in it's ability to recuperate and continue on :)

Solon 06-03-2009 07:14 PM

I'd do a check up with your doc and just see where you are health-wise. Tell him about the horse riding and find out what the risk is. They will be upfront with you and tell you exactly what you should/should not be doing.

What beliefs are your worried about as far as a trainer? There are so many varieties out there, it'd be really hard NOT to find one that you could work with. Best of luck to you!

ponyboy 06-03-2009 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxPony BoyxXx (Post 318618)
AND VERY SHY, I hate working around people. I hate talking to my horse around people. they always look at you...

I can relate to that. People can be so insensitive to people like us. *Coughs at post above* They don't realize that being shy is a disability not a choice. I used to be really shy as a kid but most people who know me now would never guess that. You might not be able to change your personality but you can learn to deal with it. Most people instinctively know how to communicate with others; I had to learn it just like a subject in school. I still feel like a foreigner in a strange land and I don't think that will ever change, but at least now I can understand (most of) the local language.

I was never nervous riding though. It was the only time I ever felt confident. The only thing I can suggest there is that if you don't feel confident in your current discipline maybe there's another type of riding you would like better.

RiddlesDarkAngel5 06-03-2009 11:19 PM

i totally understand being nervous. a few years ago i had a horse take off and deliberately throw me into a metal fence and then try to run me over. i still get nervous every time i canter even though i know my new horse would never ever do something like that to me.

when i get nervous i just try to breathe and talk to my horse, let him know that i'm scared and to please take care of me. u'd be surprised how empathic some horses are. my horse, if i'm really anxious and i tell him, will slow down or even stop.

xXxPony BoyxXx 06-04-2009 06:39 PM

I know that the body heals, I broke my neck twice, So I know that.
My kidney was cut in half from the impact of a slow sign.. (WTF?)
My splean was damaged as well. It does not work properly. Nor does my kidney. I get gut renchin pains, and I feel like I am 90. I do eat healthy, try my best to be as healthy as possible. I have talked to the doctor before about this, the issue is that if I was dumped hard enough It would start to bleed again, It has not healed properly. So A hard enough bang and it will bleed.

I know I do have alot of confidence issue's Like I said, I hate to be near people.
I dont talk to my horse much, just for the fact that people look at you like your messed up. I dont know why. Maybe how I talk to her? I don't know but people look at me funny. I hate it.

Why I dont have a trainer, money, also my views on animals, not everyone treats them the same. Also, I live in a very small town everyone knows everyone, almost. Well, I dont like how they all ride, it is not how my family has done it forever, now how I was taught. So that wont work.

All I need is some confidence.
I really try hard. But It doesnt work for me.

RiddlesDarkAngel5 06-04-2009 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxPony BoyxXx (Post 321097)
I know that the body heals, I broke my neck twice, So I know that.
My kidney was cut in half from the impact of a slow sign.. (WTF?)
My splean was damaged as well. It does not work properly. Nor does my kidney. I get gut renchin pains, and I feel like I am 90. I do eat healthy, try my best to be as healthy as possible. I have talked to the doctor before about this, the issue is that if I was dumped hard enough It would start to bleed again, It has not healed properly. So A hard enough bang and it will bleed.

I know I do have alot of confidence issue's Like I said, I hate to be near people.
I dont talk to my horse much, just for the fact that people look at you like your messed up. I dont know why. Maybe how I talk to her? I don't know but people look at me funny. I hate it.

Why I dont have a trainer, money, also my views on animals, not everyone treats them the same. Also, I live in a very small town everyone knows everyone, almost. Well, I dont like how they all ride, it is not how my family has done it forever, now how I was taught. So that wont work.

All I need is some confidence.
I really try hard. But It doesnt work for me.

if it helps any, i talk to my horse too. alot actually. i'll just talk to him about anything and everything. i used to be really really self conscious about it, but then i figured, hey other people probably do it too. i cant be the only one. besides, i bet your horse loves it when you do. i know mine does. he'll prick his ears towards me and listen to everything i say


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