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Spyder 06-03-2009 10:40 PM

Top 10 exercises to become a better equestrian
 
10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get off, Stupid, GET OFF!"

9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.

8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.

7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.

6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.

5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See hon, moving hay bales is FUN!" and "No, really, I'm glad your lucky performance and multimillion dollar horse won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place."

4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be -- bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...

2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is ..."

1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN: Marry money.

Joshie 06-03-2009 10:43 PM

Bad, bad, bad Spyder.:shock:

DixiesPaintedNova 06-03-2009 10:50 PM

haha...nice. i liked it.

eventerdrew 06-03-2009 10:55 PM

I got a PM with these on Facebook today...

I love #5. Exemplifies eventing to the letter.

LOVE these.

Thanks for posting them!

Whipple 06-03-2009 11:00 PM

I JUST read this! Awesome!

free_sprtd 06-04-2009 02:40 AM

muahahaha made me crack up laughing a little lol

Walkamile 06-04-2009 07:40 AM

Number 9 just laid me out laughing! Can't you just visualize it, and to be truthful, hmmmmmm could be quite an effective exercise! :lol:

Stock Horse Show Source 06-04-2009 07:45 AM

I loved all of them! So entertaining. Thanks Spyder for posting.

RiddlesDarkAngel5 06-05-2009 04:58 PM

hehe thanks for posting. my horse is always stepping on my foot and i swear he does it on purpose just to see me hop around in pain =P

JustDressageIt 06-05-2009 06:19 PM

RE: #1:
You know, I always said I needed to date/marry rich.


... I just didn't know it would be his first name.


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