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TroubledTB 07-07-2009 03:31 PM

A Thousand and One Arabian Nightmares: The story of the first horse.
 
Ok this is a work of pure fantasy, and is not, I repeat, not historically accurate. If anything it is a funny version of history. I don't have too much of it typed, just hand written, and I really just made it up for fun. But I'm curious to see how people will respond, and I see many "ideas" being thrown around here, so here's mine. It's more of an outline, but I have many parts written, just not typed.

I starts off in Ireland, around Adam and Eve time. The first people are just figuring out how to huddle around lightning when it strikes a fire for warmth. There is no hunting, only gathering, and people are scavengers. They eat anything they find already dead, including wonderful, precious, horses. All except for one, Towinn. A mischevious young girl who is facinated with the horses, her family follows so closely for food, but refuses to partake of eating them. Instead, after many years of observation, she decided to tackle the first horse. She waits in the month of may, because it's maybe tonight, maybe tommorow, such the reason why we named it may, for a foal to be born, from one of the mares whose coat runs. Her logic is they must be so fast they run their color right off year after year, hence the gray or Roan horses, Roan being an Irish pronunciation of run. (Towinn logic making sense yet? It's all history according to her, and mostly why things are named because of something she did) Well she tackles a little filly in the middle of a may night, and that is officially the first horse. It is exciting until the horse becomes troubling and ruins certain situations, and listens to no one except Towinn, her being the first horseperson and all. The people of the tribe all get good and pissed off by some of the tricks Towinn and her filly pull off and decide, hey, why not put Roan to some good use and eat her. Towinn is of course appaled by the idea, and they say, fine, take your **** horse and go. So she does. She and Roan, and most of the horses follows the coast for 80 days, and realized she was right back to where she started, so she proudly announces that she has been around the world in 80 days, and it is flat! Flat as a pancake, or the stone age equivalant, and is depressed she is faced with the problems of her family. They have gotten along quite well without her, and she is depressed to find they didn't miss her, but they agree to take her back if she can find a food substitute equivalant of eating Roan. She sets off and finds an apple tree. There she and Roan figure out why it is good to know about Apples. They love them and get greedy and eat all the apples. But is this any ordinary apple tree? Nooo, it's the tree of knowledge, and what knowledge do they get, well they don't really care about being naked, but all of a sudden Towinn and Roan can talk to each other. Problem is no one can hear Roan actually talking to Towinn, so no one believes it. Well of course God gets wind of Towinn eating his apples and kicks her and roan out. Well Towinn, being the snot that she is, tells him a thing or two about the world, and how its flat, and small, and she has no where to go. God doesn't much care and tells her to talk to the dolphins about it. The dolphins tell Towinn and Roan to go Dolphin (or swim) and follow them away from the island to other land. So towinn, Roan, and the herd follow the dolphins across the channel.
They then come to King Arthurs court where the story of the Sword in the Stone becomes the Sword in the Roan, which is an epic tale of how Arthur told Towinn she couldn't have a sword until she earned one in battle. So what do Towinn and Roan do? Go challenge the biggest, badest, meanest knight in the area and lose, sort of. The knight stabs Roan with his sword, and Roan races back to the castle for medical attention. Towinn is smart enough to wait to pull the sword out, to avoid blood loss, and Arthur is the one who ultimately pulls the sword fromt he Roan, and she is saved by the healers. The sword, is excalibur, and is magnificent, and would have never been taken from the original knight in any other fashion, because no one could have surely defeated him. They both live to tell a tail another day, and in fact tell so many that the Arthur begins to say, Towinn, your lying, that stories boring, your weren't off with the boy's, you were on your horse snoring! She eventually decides she has a problem with the sun as it is too hot and Arthur gives her the idea to go challenge Ra in Arabia, who is the sun god. Without a second thought she sets off.
Then there is Hell in Troy, where Roan is the Trojan horse, but this post is getting way to long. Basically, its the story of a horse who goes Go Dolphin to Arabia, and gets lost along the way. Let me know what you think so far, and if I should post more. I have lots of Towinn stories, I also wanted to post one of the completed shorts I have, but it isn't really horsey, though she tells it to Ra in his court, once she get's there. What do you guys think? Is it worth writing? Is it dumb? Be honest!


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