**UPDATE** Tell me if you would be upset, like I clearly am..
So most of you may know our story.. (Fin and I)... Quick recap. My horse has VERY advanced melinoma on his sheath and behind. No medicine/Chemo was able to help him. He is not in pain or suffering, only sometimes when they explode, oose or get infected. Summers tough because of flies trying to nest or infect his wounds. Otherwise he is a happy horse always looking for the next meal..
My father pays the bills and he is 62 and wants to retire. He pays $1000 a month not including vet bills/medicine etc. He cant afford it and no one could take him that I trusted enough to handle his maintence and manage his tumors. (he is barely workable anymore due to rubbing and sores the motion creates)
Universitys denied him due to lack of funding for cancer research.
He is scheduled tomorrow for being euthanized and buried in my parents yard.
I have asked my trainer/owner over the last 6 months (seeing this coming) if she would cut my Dad a deal on board so we could have a longer time together. She turned it down. I also asked her to take him over and she turned that down..
Today I get a message from her saying she cant let us go through with this unless she offers he spend his last days with her under her care. She offered to take him over.
Can you see where this would frustrate me?
On one hand he lives longer, or on another he has a horrific death.
His fate is obvious just dont know how or when. Cancer has a polite way of doing that.
But why couldnt she offer months ago to split the costs so I could continue with my Love. I have poured my heart into him.
Most likely I will give him to her. But all the shots being called with him and all his love and attention with be by someone else. Someone who hasnt done the things I have done for him. I know it sounds selfish , it just boils down to not be far and my love for him. I haven't cared we went from showing and jumping to nothing.. Hasnt ever mattered to me, its the companionship, love, happiness to see me- running to me in the paddock..
I would be very frustrated to but at least he can live a longer happy life.
I am so sorry that it has come down to these 2 things.
Is there any way that you can move him to a different barn that is less expensive? or does your dad not want to pay board/medical bills on him anymore?
I am so sorry you have to go through this ((hugs))
Well I thought of that 6 months ago but felt with his history it is difficult to explain to someone who does know him.. Somethings you might see him do might horrify you but they are normal to him... So I would constantly wonder if some new barn would know what to look for you know.
I dont think his life is longer than 1 yr at best. And thats if nothing else comes his way and something always happens every month or every other month......
Just not black and white you know? Difficult. On one hand youd think he was fine on another you look at the size of his tumors and youd think I was an awful person
Oh, honey. ((((HUGS)))) I am so sorry that you have to go through that. I really can't make any suggestions because I don't know every detail of the whole story but you just have to consider what is best for Fin. Have you checked with universities all over the country? I know that West Texas A&M has one of the biggest vet schools in the country. If all else fails, you may consider talking to them or maybe Oklahoma State University, they have a big vet school too. I feel your pain and wish that there was something that I could do to help. And you are far from a horrible person. I am assuming that he is gray, right? That is just part of owning a gray horse. Any horse person knows that and knows that generally, there is nothing that can be done for them. The gray in my avatar, Dobe, just had 2 melanomas removed a couple of months ago. It is something that you just kinda have to accept as a part of them and deal with it as best you can.
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