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RatherBeRiding 07-13-2009 10:05 PM

Training a young horse
My next door neighbour has recently got a 3 and a half year old QH mare and i personally do not think she is ready for her . although the horse is quite placid , she is young and can get frisky and the girl doesnt know much about training a young horse . I thought about not getting involved but i cant stand around and watch this girl hurt the poor horse and getting angry every time she goes a little wild :( it is sad .... i havee been to ride the horse and when i ride her she is fine . i have been riding and having lessons for 5 years but this girl has only been having lessons for 2-3 years , also everyone i talk to says that this girl ruined a horse she leased as she rode her very badly ... she pulls on her horse and her old leased pony freaquently and yells at them when they do not do exactly what she wants.
me and my friend (who has been riding for thee same amount of time as me) want to help train the horse but the girl who owns her gets angry and says "she is going fine i dont need help from anyone!!!" when everyone can see she isnt

we need some advice about the training of the horse ... and what we can do to reason with this girl ... she is our friend but she doesnt listen to us ... should we just give it up and let her ruin this poor pony ?? wee need your advicee

any help is great :)


Spastic_Dove 07-13-2009 10:17 PM

Really, there's not too much you can do. If you are friends, you could offer to help without saying she is doing it wrong but in the end, unless the horse is being legitimately abused or neglected, I can't see you having any options to stop her from training her horse.

PaintHorseMares 07-13-2009 10:24 PM


Originally Posted by Spastic_Dove (Post 349863)
Really, there's not too much you can do. If you are friends, you could offer to help without saying she is doing it wrong but in the end, unless the horse is being legitimately abused or neglected, I can't see you having any options to stop her from training her horse.

I agree. Perhaps you can suggest that she read and/or watch some training books/videos and/or learn about horse psychology.

Some people just don't have the patience and/or personality to work with horses and can ruin even a very well trained horse.

RatherBeRiding 07-13-2009 10:33 PM

Thabks for both of your advice ... my firned has said to her about some books but she does have a prob;lem with her anger and takes things the qworng way alot of the time so when my friend said to her about reading some books she took it the wrong way and started yelling at her saying that she didnt need anyones help and that my friend should go read some books .... but yeahh thanks .. we just want to help the horse :)

mom2pride 07-13-2009 11:52 PM

Perhaps invite her to take some lessons together? I know for some people actual 'advice' can be taken the wrong way, but something like an invite to a class can be taken as an invite to 'competition' (which they may like, as they are naturally competitive). It would be worth a shot, atleast...especially since she would then be expected to listen to the instructor, and the weight would be off your shoulders.

~*~anebel~*~ 07-14-2009 12:02 AM

Or let the horse do the work for you. If the mare has two brain cells to rub together she'll let the girl know pretty quick not to handle her so roughly. Generally once people have created a rearing/bucking/biting/balking problem they'll realize they need a coach.
If you really feel the need to do something then I would say something like "Oh, I've been reading this really good book, blah blah blah, it opened my eyes about X and I didn't know Y, etc." ... "Oh why don't I lend it to you!" Or invite her to a lesson by saying that you need one more person in order for it to be worth it for the coach or something.
Good luck!

dressagebelle 07-14-2009 12:41 AM

I would be careful about what you say. I've been riding for over 15 years, and it is always very disheartening to see someone who's still a beginner try and work with a horse thats too much for them at the moment. Honestly, when I got my first horse, I took things people said the wrong way sometimes. He didn't have any big issues, but when someone would say something, I would get defensive. I learned that for me, if someone thinks that I may need help, or could do something different, I always listened better if someone said "hey, my horse used to do that, and I did x which seemed to work well, maybe it might work for her", or even just starting up a convo with me, about the horse, and putting in your training thoughts at the appropriate moments. But I would not go out of your way to watch her, and point out when she could do something different. It's true that when she has enough, she'll definately let her know, and it may be hard to watch, but that might be the best way for your friend to learn. It took my horse turning into a complete witch, for me to realize that I needed to switch trainers, as my current trainers methods did not work well with my horse. Good luck, and hopefully things will work out.

Mercedes 07-14-2009 07:52 AM

Clearly she's not willing or ready for any sort of help. So, I'd simply let her know I'm available should she need some help and then I'd stand on the sidelines with my cell phone prepared to dial 911 on her behalf.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

You can point out people's behavior, but you can't make them listen, or change.

Say your peace to her, let her know you'd be willing to help and then be done with it. If something gets out of hand and you feel the horse is being abused, call the local animal shelter and have them come and investigate.

FlitterBug 07-14-2009 08:09 AM

I agree with all that has been said. People don't want to be told that they are doing something wrong. If you do try and tell them at the wrong time, then you will completely turn them off. Once they crash, they will go looking for help, the best thing that you can do is lead by example.

RatherBeRiding 07-15-2009 05:50 PM

Thanks for the good advice everyone :) it helps alot :D

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