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Snapple122 07-24-2009 01:03 AM

Can't stop thinking about him..
 
Some of you know about this, but I am still looking for advice..

I have liked this guy for the last 2 years. I will say this now: he was my grade 11 teacher. I just finished high school last month and will not be going back in the fall. This terrifies me because I miss him already. We talked a lot and he helped me through a lot. We always talked about hockey and when I saw him I would be like "did you watch the game last night??" and then we would talk about it for a while. He was so happy for me when I showed him my exam marks. We had an issue that was worked through with the help of my principal and other counsellor type people, and while it was going on, we didn't talk to each other and it was akward but after the meeting, it all went back to normal. He was like, my mentor and honestly, he was everything to me and still is. I have to go back to my school next month to pick up stuff. Should I talk to him? What should I say? I can't just forget about him and move on..this sounds so lame but I can not stop thinking about him and I need him in my life. I know I probably never cross his mind, but I can't help thinking about him and wondering what he's doing. He is married.

LeahKathleen 07-24-2009 03:04 AM

HE IS MARRIED.

The end.

I feel quite strongly about those kinds of things. Thank the man for what he has done for you, and move on.

College will bring you many boys your age.

Angel_Leaguer 07-24-2009 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahKathleen (Post 359433)
HE IS MARRIED.

The end.

I feel quite strongly about those kinds of things. Thank the man for what he has done for you, and move on.

College will bring you many boys your age.

Can't agree more.

themacpack 07-24-2009 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahKathleen (Post 359433)
HE IS MARRIED.

The end.

I feel quite strongly about those kinds of things. Thank the man for what he has done for you, and move on.

Agree - there is as LOT ahead of you. He is what you know now - five years from now, though, you will be looking back at the life you have found for yourself and he will be a blip in the grand scheme.

TaMMa89 07-24-2009 10:13 AM

I remember you've talked about this earlier too.

I didn't get what kind of issues there actually were between you two? Something like misunderstadings or something that shouldn't have happened?

Anyway, sounds that he means a lot to you. I don't mean romantical issues or anything like that but a great mental support (I caught this that way when you said he helped you throuhg a lot) and I'm sorry for you if you've lost that support now. Still, because it seems you've also other, not so platonic thougths as to him I recommend you don't try to keep in touch with him and move on like others said. He's married and those thoughts could lead something not so nice.

This sounds perhaps like a cliché but you'll get over him someday even if you don't feel so just now. Like I said I'm sorry for the support you lost but I'm also sure there's a boy/man somewhere who is just for you and can support you as him. Now if you need advice for those day when you'll go to pick up your stuff.. if you meet him could you for example thank him for everything he's done for you (like LeahKathleen said..) and say bye then?

*Hugs*. Not nice feeling but it won't last evermore.

G and K's Mom 07-24-2009 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahKathleen (Post 359433)
HE IS MARRIED.

The end.

I feel quite strongly about those kinds of things. Thank the man for what he has done for you, and move on.

College will bring you many boys your age.

Agree 100%.

You may be interpreting his support, which is his job, for something it's not.

He belongs to someone else, as hard as you may think it is you need to get on with your life. It will get easier as time goes by.

ClassicalRomantic 07-24-2009 03:32 PM

I have to agree with everyone else on this issue it's just a high school crush! i had one on my gym teacher all 4 years of high school :) funny thing is he did marry one of his students a few years after she graduated..I still think he is hunky and his wife is not she is chunky though LOL that was mean of me! anyways, this is not something to pursue or try to pursue....It's so hard for teachers to have relationships with any students these days without being accused of doing something improper or something actually happening. If you really care you wont pursue anything it can jeapordize his career and his personal life. You will meet plenty of good guys in your life so be patient and Mr. Right will come when you least expect it! :)

JustDressageIt 07-25-2009 12:18 AM

I do remember you posting about this a long time ago.
I seem to remember that he went to great lengths to make sure that he was not in a position anymore that made you feel that he meant anything more than support. I also seem to recall that you were not allowed to see him without there being someone else in the room.
I'm sorry hun, but this does not sound healthy; that you are hung up on a guy that is married, much older than you, and someone that doesn't feel comfortable talking to you alone anymore.

I have to say that I think you interpreted his support for something more. I agree with what Tamma said. Teachers can sometimes feel like friends, which is great; but that is part of their job.

I'm sorry hun, but he is MARRIED. You have been restrained from seeing him in the past. This is NOT good.

My advice? Do NOT see him when you pick up your stuff. I think that will make things hard for you.


Okay, even IF (if if if if IF!! I highly doubt it but let's say IF) he did have some sort of romantic interest in you - see it from our point of view. You were his student. His high school student. You are underage. There would be investigations. He would probably be fired or run out of the system (parents, not just yours would be irate.) And!! The biggest one - how would you feel about breaking up a marriage? Would you want to be with someone who left his wife for a student?

In all honesty, it might hurt... hon I'm sure he wasn't interested in you that way. He probably saw that you needed help through some rough times and felt like stepping up to be your support system. I'm sorry but I don't think he meant to lead you to think romantic thoughts about him.

The good news is that high school crushes on teachers are totally common, but you do have to realize that this has gone too far in the past, and I would strongly recommend getting over him.

I'm sorry... good luck.

FGRanch 07-25-2009 12:41 AM

You know what, I feel for ya, I really do...BUT He is married, and he is a teacher.

My2Geldings 07-26-2009 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahKathleen (Post 359433)
HE IS MARRIED.

The end.

I feel quite strongly about those kinds of things. Thank the man for what he has done for you, and move on.

College will bring you many boys your age.

...couldn't have said it better myself.

This whole thread is quite creepy to be honest. It sounds to me like there might be that male figure missing at home in your life, and without meaning to, you are getting attracted to people you shouldn't be.

You are going to get yourself into a lot of deep trouble if you continue this way.

Relax, and enjoy school and friends. You will have plenty of time to date boys of your age.


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