Leasing problems- long rant!
I have mentioned on a few different threads here that my older mare Ali was partially leased out to a woman to help cover expenses, and to get some much needed exercise. But my lessee was getting on my nerves, to say the least. Not only was she becoming very pushy and possessive about the horse, she is very neurotic and a total worry-wart. She had told me at the beginning that she rode a lot when she was younger, but it quickly became evident that this was not true. Since the mare is very beginner-safe I let this slide, and thought maybe it was just nervousness about getting on a horse after a long time. I did convince her to take a few lessons, but they didn't help much. She seemed to only be focused on spending time with the horse and "pampering" i.e. - spoiling her. She became obsessive about it, and started reading every article on horse care she could get her hands on. Then she would come to me with "suggestions" of ways to make this horse's life better. She bought joint supplements, hoof supplements, coat supplements, and it got to the point where she was eating more supplements than real feed, when all she really needed was some good hard exercise. It seemed I could never do enough to please this woman; she obviously wanted the horse to be kept in a perfectly sterile, heated barn with polished marble floors and pure mineral water flowing into crystal basins. Instead she lives in my 6 acre field with a very basic run-in surrounded by mud, as we live in a rainforest. A few days ago she emailed me to inform me that Ali needed her feet done, by Friday at the latest! Well that got my back up, to say the least. I told her the farrier was coming NEXT Friday, and that her feet were not that bad, her toes were getting slightly long but that was not a problem considering she never rides her. The next day I came home from work to find fresh hoof trimmings in the ring and Ali with newly-trimmed toes! That was the last straw. I emailed her and said she had no right to get a different farrier without my permission (the last time she did that the mare was lame for 4 months due to a bad trim, which also resulted in her calling the vet out without my permission!) She claimed to have no idea what I was talking about, and denied having a farrier, and actually got very angry at me. Meanwhile my own farrier called and was coming THIS Friday instead (yesterday), so I had him look at the trimmings and at Ali’s feet. He agreed the trimmings were less than a day or two old, and said someone had worked on her feet but it was not a professional. I concluded that the lessee had trimmed them herself, using a pair of nippers that were left here from the previous barn owner. Now this woman is refusing to speak to me (thank God!), and it appears my problems with her are over. In a way I am very relieved, but I still can’t get over the audacity of some people, and that now she is mad at ME over this! I will have to find a new lessee or re-home the mare, as I have two young geldings I am starting and have neither the time nor money for all three.
Someone should start a rant thread about some of the annoying people who do things like this!
Sorry, but she loved your horse.....took the best of care with her, spent a lot of time just being with the horse, and wanted the best for the horse....
Maybe you should rethink this a bit? I'm thinking that if you're able to put the annoying personality aside this could still be a win for your horse.
My opinion....and $3.50 cents will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks....but I'm thinking this arrangement might not have been to bad...
While I personally really disagree with her calling in a vet on her own accord and trying to do the feet on her own (honestly, I wouldn't do my own horse's feet even if I owned the horse! Not a smart move.), I do think that it's nice to have someone who will let the horse just be a horse every now and then.
I lease a mare at a very cowboy style trail barn, and everyone is surprised when I lunge her for a little exercise and then let her be while I braid her mane or something. Of course, if you took on a lessee with the agreement of her being there solely to exercise your horse, then you have reason to be upset with her for doing so - but otherwise as long as she's paying you I don't see a problem with her not riding every day.
I don't mean to be in any way offensive to you, just wanted to point it out because that's something that I like to do myself. Of course she does sound like a nightmare lessee with all of the other stuff combined! It's really not her place to be adding supplements to your horse's diet and doing things out of the blue like that.
the woman clearly tried to take over control of the horse.
I would have put a stop to it the minute she suggested changing anything about the horses diet or living arrangements.
A simple " when you OWN a horse YOU can do as you like with it" would probably have stopped this nonsense in its tracks.
You allowed her to push your boundaries and she took advantage of your kind nature.
Have nothing further to do with her and if she paid anything in advance refund her money. If not if she returns to your property have her arrested for trespassing.
IMPO this woman has something else going on besides the welfare of the horse. Shalom
Yeah, there is levels of acceptable. If you're leasing the horse because it needs exercise and the woman just pampers it... well I can understand you'd be upset!
The final straw would be trimming the hooves themselves! The woman sounds like far too much effort.
I agree that she was trying to do the best for the horse, but she just wouldn't listen to reason. Her spoiling actually created some very bad habits in the mare which I will now have to correct. And db you are right, it is partially my own fault for allowing her to push my boundaries. I have had that problem with people before, in all aspects of my life. It is something I need to work on. But it had got to the point where I was actually avoiding the woman because she annoyed me so much. I only wanted someone to come and use the horse and have fun with it, not tell me what to do and create more work for me.
KatieQ people like the lady you posted about intentionally push those boundaries in the need to control the other person.
Learn to say no and those people will vanish from your life.
We all are guilty of allowing others to push our boundaries so dont beat yourself up about it. Confrontation is necessary at times. Shalom
Was there a contract stating specifically what could and could not be done with this animal. What to do in case of vet, farrier needs etc?
Not saying she was right AT ALL. I've come across some people like her before too and it drives me nuts, but she sounds like o e of those that just pushes the limits of what she can get away with.
We did have a contract but it was not specific enough, apparently. We had discussed the terms verbally and I had thought they were clear and understood. I will know next time to write up a much more detailed contract and be firm about the rules and conditions. This woman is an absolute beginner with very little horse knowledge, so it would never have occurred to me that she would attempt to trim the horse's hooves! She still has not admitted it, by the way, which worries me even more.
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