Am I Being Unreasonable?
I've got a serious problem with where I board, and it only seems to be getting worse.
Now, I don't think I'm being unreasonable in what I'm asking. But hear me out and I suppose I'll let y'all decide.
I have a Morgan. He is an easy-keeper. He gains weight like nothing I've ever seen, and it's truly frightening to see just how big he can get when the summer grass comes in. No matter how much I ride him, and despite being fed diet feed (that is not cheap), he gains the weight. So, last year, we got a grazing muzzle. We researched it heavily before we made this decision, consulted trainers, studied what people had to say about them, all that, and came to the conclusion that it was definitely a good idea to put him in it right away.
Here comes the problem.
Despite the fact that we are paying full board, and that it would require no extra effort on her part, the woman who boards my horse simply refuses to put the grazing muzzle on when she turns the horses out for the night (the only other horses at this barn are her own two). She has not researched it and has no idea of how important it is that my Morgan not gain weight, though trainers, myself, my parents, and veterinarians have all told her that he could get laminitis, founder, or various other things if he continues grazing on such rich grass without limitation. Last year, if I remember correctly, she grudgingly put it on eventually, even though we were fighting uphill the whole while. I was thanking the heavens when winter came round and the grass went down.
This year, she is not putting it on AT ALL. My dad has resorted to going out, catching Frosty (which can be dangerous; he's not an easy catch unless you have food or you happen to catch him in a good mood, and he broke my mother's arm two years ago in such a situation), bringing him in, putting the grazing muzzle on, and taking him out again. She has come up with five million excuses, all of them ridiculous, for not putting the muzzle on. It's too hot, he can't breathe, he can't get grass through it. All of it's B.S. and I am sick and tired of it.
My dad does so much work for her. He helps cleans stalls, mows the fields, fixes things that break down, etc. Heck, he even cleaned the cobwebs off the top of the barn! We get a very tiny discount off our board for this- which upon closer look wasn't a discount at all, because we were paying for bran, which our horse doesn't even get. Now, wouldn't you think that the least this woman could do would be to do as we've asked for the good of our horse? Where does she get the idea that she makes the decisions for him?! He's not her horse! We're paying her to take care of him, and it seems to me that all she's doing is turning a blind eye to him getting dangerously close to foundering or worse! We went away for one week, to check out a college in Georgia, and when we came back it was so obvious she hadn't put the muzzle on as we'd asked that I wanted to hit her.
What's probably worse than not putting his grazing muzzle on, though, is that this is only ONE of the many things she "forgets" to do. She doesn't put his Grand Coat supplement (which I think helps keep away the rain rot) into his feed unless we get onto her, and even then she eventually "forgets" to put it in again. She doesn't bring the horses in when it's pouring and lightning out, despite the fact that the veterinarian told her she needed to, when ALL of the horses had rain rot at one point, thanks to acid rain (so he said; no idea if that's right, but it's good enough for me). Now my horse has rain rot again, as do all of hers. But does she bring the horses in? No. We have to do it ourselves.
I'm leaving for college in a year. I probably won't be taking Frosty with me that first year, but I can't leave him at this boarding stable and rest easy at night. I can't leave him here even for the year I have left. I'm looking hard for another stable, but so far I haven't found one that's close enough to us. I suppose that's why we've put up with all this for so long, because this place is so close to both us and the vet. But I'll keep looking.
In the meantime, I'd like to know. Am I being unreasonable in being so angry and so sick and tired of this woman's superiority complex on all things concerning the welfare of my own horse when she really knows very little in comparison to my trainers and the vet? My parents are sick of it too, especially my mom, who the boarding woman has so little respect for it's just plain rude. She thinks my parents are ignorant of all things horses, though they both know quite a bit now, after two years of owning Frosty and supporting both me and him. I think she believes I'm just a kid who's still learning, but doesn't know much either (I've been around horses for about ten years now, owned my own for two; I have tons of things to learn, but don't you think I'd know something of what I'm talking about by now?).
I'm tired. I want my horse to be safe and healthy. I can't take this stress and neither can my family. Sorry for the long post, but things have to be said sometimes and I suppose the words just poured out. Thank you if you read and respond, but if you don't that's all right too.
(((hugs))) I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You're just trying to do the best thing for your boy.
I hope you're able to find a new barn soon!
I CANNOT stress that enough!!! I've had the WORSE experience at a barn you could possibly imagine and IT'S not worth it to stay! You are NOT being unreasonable at ALL! You're protecting your horse and now she's apparently a threat to your horse's health. I really don't know what to say cause so many things are swirling in my head right now, but why would you possibly want to stay? She doesn't respect you or your parents then she won't take care of your horse. Please, please, PLEASE change barns!!
Thank you both!
I am looking so hard for a barn. I'm just not in a good area for boarding barns, and any others nearby seem to be full. As a last resort, I will go out and take a look at one nearly a half-hour away, but that would make it really difficult for me since I have to work around school to have lessons and see him. I don't have my own car either, so the proximity is even more important if my parents need their vehicles.
But thank you for the support! If you hear of any barns in the Leesburg (or very close surrounding) area of Florida, tell me asap!!
I agree, find a new place to board your horse.
You are paying the BO/BM your money for them to take care of your horse and to ensure that your horse is healthy and getting the best possible care - period. So if putting a grazing muzzle on means that, then ****ed rights the BM/BO should be putting it on.
It is YOUR horse. YOUR money. YOUR time and YOUR pocket book to pay the Vet for when and if anything happens health wise to your horse - not the BM's not the BO's. Their job is to cator to your horse, that is what you are paying them for.
If they cannot hold up their end of the deal, then they don't deserve to get paid. Find a new place to keep your horse. The BM/BO is there for you, not you there for them.
It's not their decision, they don't own the horse.
Untill you find a new barn. Threaten to stop paying board. Thats YOUR horse and YOU say what happens to it.
Not unreasonable at all and I do hope you find a new barn soon. :)
I also know about the other things..*sigh* well..just good luck. :/
Ok I have had a situation quit like yours only they didn't feed my horses. Don't stop paying your board! I can't stress that enough. I am not sure what state you are in but she can claim your horse after 30 day of no pay. Your Dad on the other hand can stop helping.
I know having your horse close to you is nice but a long drive is worth it for the safety of your horse. Don't wait. Pay another barn inform her of your move and do it pronto. You are not asking to much at all. If she wanted more money to put the muzzle on that is fine but she just refuses. The rain rot is another problem. Horses should not get that from being rained on once in a while. It comes from fungus and it could be in the barn, field or where ever and activated by the rain. A good bath with rose fungus treatment in it should clear it up in a few day. It is her responsibility to make sure your horse is healthy and safe. Pack up and leave at what ever cost. A sick horse cost more money and the heart break of loosing frosty will be a cost you don't want to pay.
I would just drive the extra for the year your home. If it's a good place you will feel much better when you leave for college.
Good luck hope it all turns out well.
Does she put halters on them when turning them out? If so, what's the problem? If not, well, she's still being unreasonable. It takes like 12 seconds to put a grazing muzzle on and it's for one horse.
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