|tempest ||08-26-2009 10:56 AM |
You Might Be A Horse Person If...
You Might Be A Horse Person If...
Things one should never say to a blacksmith ...
- You get frequent flyer miles without ever being on a plane
- Bailing twine is your solution to EVERYTHING
- The only hats you own are a cowboy hat and a helmet
- Your horse’s family tree is more complete than your own
- You are the one stealing all the socks for tail bags
- You cluck to people and other animals to make them move
- You own more bobby pins than the beautician m
- Your dad is concerned about you checking out the body of and flirting with a horse instead of a guy
- You have favorite wheelbarrows, shovels and pitchforks
- Your nice clothes are the ones without horse hair on them
- Every paper you write has to do with horses
- You are more interested in the trailer than the cute guy standing next to it
- Your horse’s stall is cleaner than your room
- Your plan your entire social life around horse shows and practice
- The centerfold of your magazine is a horse…. And there is NO swimsuit edition
- You say whoa to the dog
- Your motto is "if you have to ask you can’t afford it"
- You’d pay $200 + for a show shirt but refuse to pay more than $20 for jeans
- Your horse has more shoes than you do
- Your boots and hat are not a fashion statement
- You spend hundreds of dollars on a show for a 95 cent ribbon
- Your horses legs are shaved better than your own
- You are not ashamed to wear a hairnet and enough makeup for twenty people
- You can say that you watched two horses have sex with a straight face.
A Horseman's Christmas - Doris Eraldi
- If you will just give each of the dogs a piece of hoof they will get out from under the horse and quit fighting.
- As much as you charge, I should get to use that truck too.
- If you get that done in 30 minutes, you’ll be making $160. per hour.
- That’s not the way they did it on that horseshoeing show.
- I see who makes all the money in horses farriers!
- My last farrier couldn’t finish they gave me your name and number.
- You don’t mind if I feed the other horses, do you?
- Are you sure you have them on the correct foot?
- If he didn’t kick like that, I’d trim him myself.
- Would you mind trimming my new BLM mustang?
- Can we shoe him in the arena? If he rears in the barn, he hits his head.
- You sure earned your money on that one!
- I forgot you were coming; I just turned all the horses out.
- Can you make it after six, or on Sunday, I have to work.
- I just cannot believe that he bit you.
- I read all about the "Natural Way" to trim on the internet, and you’re supposed to...
- Did that hurt?
- I know that he is difficult to shoe, but he is so good on the trails.
- It doesn’t look like he’s leaning from here.
- Good morning glad you’re here can we reschedule? I have a lot going on today.
- It’s so cool that he can "balance" on just two feet.
- Can you shoe him so that he doesn’t paw?
- Don’t tell my husband that I used the grocery money.
- Most times when he kicks, he misses!
- Just do the hinds I’ll do the the fronts.
- I left the checkbook in the car, and my wife/husband just left can you bill me?
- I’m sure glad you don’t mind working on muddy feet.
- Does it mean my horses have some sort of deficiency when they chew the paint off your truck like that?
- This horse does forge, also interferes, and sometimes hits his knees.... we need to keep the price down on this bill.
- I got a bargain on these shoes at a rummage sale, could you use them instead and save me some money?
- Oops! Wrong horse.
- I know I said just a trim, but can we shoe ‘em as well?
- My weanling colt needs a trim, and I figured you could halter break him at the same time.
- I’ve got a new horse whose feet are in pretty bad shape. The previous owners said their farrier wouldn’t work on him.
- I know it’s been a long day for you; that’s why I saved the worst one for last.
- If my other farrier’s ribs weren’t broken, he’d be able to get shoes on this horse.
- It’s a good thing you’re slow today, or he’d have had shoes on when he kicked your truck.
- My grandpa used to shoe horses like you, only he used a sledge and a corn knife.
- I don’t understand why the shoes didn’t stay on. I just had them done 12 weeks ago.
It's the night before Christmas, we're out in the barn
Blanketing horses to keep them all warm
They're eating their dinners, tucked in cozy stalls
Not aware that it's Christmas or any special day at all
They can dream of spring pastures from their pine-scented beds
No visions of sugarplums dance in their heads
But we people are thinking of merry parties and such
Maybe feeling a little sad at missing so much
This season is special but the horses don't know
We've got work to do before we can go
We finish the chores and head on inside
To get ready for dinner and our own yuletide
It's nearly midnight, the carols are sung
I remember a story I was told when I was young
How at midnight on Christmas Eve
The creatures of the barnyard can speak to us with ease
I am called to the barn, I wade through the rain
I know I must go, I can't really explain
I slide open the door, pause for a while
Then slowly walk down that dimly lit aisle
A nicker from Casey, a wink from JD
Sleepy old Alibi waking to see
Tucker rustling his bedding, a snort soft and light
Each horse gave a greeting as I walked through the night
I thought about parties bright lit and warm
The ones we don't go to 'cause we have the barn
And vacations and holidays that we don't get
When we're working long hours for bills to be met
Walking all the way to the end of the aisle
I stop to stroke Bonnie, it brings me a smile
She snuffles my face, hot breath on my skin
It starts me to thinking about my horses, my kin
I could be at parties with laughter and mirth
But where I am right now is the best place on Earth.