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Eventingismylife 11-05-2009 05:23 PM

How can I cope?!
I just sent my best friend off to be put down, luckily God answered my prayers and she just layed down to rest. She was suffering from melanomas, internally and externally at only 13yrs old. My 17.1hh high grey thoroughbred mare was by best freind and true dreamhorse. She will always be in my heart for ever....But right now I hate myself for having to make this decision... I feel like I have betrayed her and let her down....How can I cope with all of this?

JustDressageIt 11-05-2009 05:31 PM

You did the right thing *hugs.* I am very proud of you making the right decision, even though it's the hardest one you could possibly make. She is no longer in pain, and will be waiting for you, in the mean time she will have all the green grass she could possibly want.

arabchica 11-05-2009 05:55 PM

I am so sorry you had to go through this. I know it was a very hard thing to do. It was the best thing that you could do and shows your total devotion to her. That you would give her up so that she would no longer be in pain is a truly heroic thing to do. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that you find peace. ((hugs))

themacpack 11-05-2009 06:02 PM

The hardest part of loving someone is when we have to let them go - I am so very sorry for your loss, but bless you for doing what you did for her.

Eventingismylife 11-05-2009 06:10 PM

Thank you all so much, I really do. :')

MIEventer 11-05-2009 06:38 PM

I read an article that George Morris wrote not that long ago, and in that article he had a list of things that quallify one as a True Horseman.

The list had check mark boxes beside each listing, and one of them was "Holding onto the leadrope while your horse is being put down"

I choke up everytime I look at that, and I choke up even when I have to think about the day that Nelson and I will inevitably meet one day.

My MIL just had her Irish Draught put down, because she had tumors. And a dear friend just had one of her cherrished School Pony's put down because she coliced severely, only surgery would of possibily helped - since she opted DNR, she was layed to rest in her stall.

It is very, oh so very, very hard to make that decision, and go through with it and of course you are going to play the blame game - it is only natural. This is something that will remain with you till you cross over, but you can learn to accept it and move forward.

At least you loved your mare and gave her all the best during her life with you. For that, she thanks you. She thanks you, because you cared enough, because you gave her all you could, and because, you loved her. You treated her more than just a piece of property, and for that, she thanks you.

Now, you can check that box that makes you that much more, of a True Horseman.

Spastic_Dove 11-05-2009 06:59 PM

This is a stretch...but is this Hailey who rode out at Meggans?

Regardless, you did the right thing for your horse. It takes true love for your horse and compassion to do what is right for them even when it's heartbreaking for you.

LadyDreamer 11-05-2009 10:42 PM

Take time to grieve. There is no shame in crying.

When it comes time for you to bring another into your life, remember that your girl will never be replaced. The new horse will never be like the one you lost. It may be better, may be worse, but you must learn to love him or her regardless. Do not expect the new one to live up to the old. They are all individuals. Comparing the new one to the one you loved before will hamper and slow the process of coming to love the new one.

You will not betray your loved one's memory by moving on to another.

Allison Finch 11-05-2009 11:14 PM

You have not betrayed your friend. You have done the ultimate loving action. You have given her a merciful release from pain. There was no chance of her life going anywhere but worse. Bless you for being able to give your friend a dignified exit.

Hugs to you. This month My best friend (my avatar horse) also had to be put down. I do understand.

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